Check out the poem I wrote this morning. Its called "Breathe"

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Phan Neepack, Oct 6, 2013.

  1. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    Its my first attempt at poetry.... enjoy



    Breath deep,
    The gathering gloom
    Watch lights fade
    From every room
    Bedsitter people
    Look back and lament
    Another day's useless
    Energy spent

    Impassioned lovers
    Wrestle as one
    Lonely man cries for love
    And has none
    New mother picks up
    And sticks her tit in her sons mouth
    Senior citizens
    Wish they were young

    Cold hearted orb
    That rules the night
    Removes the colours
    From our sight
    Red is gray and
    Yellow white
    But we decide
    Which is right
    And ......Which is an Illusion
     
  2. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    Fag
     
  3. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    watch it, broom-hilda...
     
  4. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    the first word of the poem is misspelled :facepalm:
     
  5. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    :jj:
     
  6. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    fucking ponderous, man
     
  7. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    take a deap breathe and try again
     
  8. Mur

    Mur soon VIP

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    boon
     
  9. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  10. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    My art, my spelling. Stop being a jealous hater
     
  11. beatlejaws

    beatlejaws nowhere poster

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  12. RobinsBedSores

    RobinsBedSores VIP Extreme Gold

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    Moody Blues song.
     
  13. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    every breathe you make I'll be watching you
     
  14. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    I've alerted the International Plagiarism Committee
     
  15. RobinsBedSores

    RobinsBedSores VIP Extreme Gold

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    [video=youtube;fMqE6hZdH24]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMqE6hZdH24[/video]

    The second part
     
  16. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    I've alerted the International Witchiepoo Witches Union. They're none to happy with their look being plagiarized :(



    [​IMG]



    :rolleyes:
     
  17. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    You just made that up. How dare you try to besmirch my good name
     
  18. Babs

    Babs Well-Known Member

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    Roses are red
    Violets are purple
    Breathing is easy.
     
  19. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    My cousin Eugene that has Emphysema doesn't think so
     
  20. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    I liked the part about the tit. I got a little chubbed up when I read it.