WTF Closest you've come to death

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by tempetoro, Jun 11, 2016.

  1. tempetoro

    tempetoro Well-Known Member

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    I was on a bike ride this morning waiting at a light. It turned green and the truck next to me and I started to go. I didn't get my foot clipped in like usual. It took an extra 2 or 3 seconds. I was halfway to the median and an f150 blew though the red light and smashed into the Tacoma that was next to me probably 40-45 mph. Had I been able to clip in as fast as I usually do I would have been a goner.

    Both drivers were okay but the trucks were absolutely totaled. The f150 tried to drive away but couldn't go anywhere...then a black woman gets out with her purse and casually walks down the street. Bystander tells me to go after her since I have a bike. I tell her the police will take care of it as I hear sirens whaling. After all the commotion I get on my way and get a tire blowout a quarter mile down the road. I've riden about 1000 miles on these tubes and tires and havent had any problems. Walked home and counted my blessings. Sorry so random just needed to vent what's on my mind.
     
  2. Chrisboom

    Chrisboom Well-Known Member

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    I watched "Beer League"....
    :artiejj:
     
  3. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    Heh... I have all of you beat


    I will say that leaning to walk again isn't fun
     
  4. Biff DiBiase

    Biff DiBiase Philanthropist and accountant at Larry, Inc. POTY Stern Forum Gold

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    When you punched me out back in 1955.
     
  5. Dream Theater

    Dream Theater DAWGS E-BULLY Squad Gold

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    Parachuting accident in the Army. Reports on the ground say I burned in approximately 75-100 feet after my chute collapsed after it bumped into another jumpers chute.
     
  6. tempetoro

    tempetoro Well-Known Member

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    Wasn't me biff. I'm the dark match George mcfly from bttf2. The real George mcfly didn't agree to appear in this thread.
     
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  7. minorsalazar

    minorsalazar Active Member

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    Very....
     
  8. Mack

    Mack Well-Known Member

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    18 and drunk as fuck, I decided to run when the cop hit his lights. I lost control of the Prelude I was driving and got ejected from the car in a horrific crash. 8 hours after the wreck I was still well over the legal limit to drive, but I had to just lay there on the operating table with a compound open fracture until I was sober enough to go under the anesthesia.

    I was quite lucky I didn't die during the rollover.
     
  9. max rockatansky

    max rockatansky I'm just here for the gasoline Gold

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    I saw them in the 90's at a general admission show - so pretty close

     
  10. Dream Theater

    Dream Theater DAWGS E-BULLY Squad Gold

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    There was also a time when I lived alone when I was a young man and I got so fucked up on muscle relaxers and heavy amounts of booze that I woke up on the floor of my apartment fully clothed including boots and leather jacket and I puked in my sleep. I coulda went out like Bon Scott or John Bonham easily
     
  11. Dream Theater

    Dream Theater DAWGS E-BULLY Squad Gold

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    :jj: nice! Death ruled.
     
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  12. Angry Arab

    Angry Arab Well-Known Member VIP

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    Boogie board wipeout during El Nino '97 almost drowned.

    On the freeway, riding my bike about 75mph a year ago. The undercarriage/splash protector from a car ahead of me in the next lane came off and flew at me like a frisbee/FLYING BLADE about a foot above my head.
     
  13. JJDealer

    JJDealer Well-Known Member

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    Born addicted to heroin spent the 1st 8 months in the hospital

    1.5 yrs old was shocked, somehow I burned half my face off with a extension cord

    23 my buddies car was being stolen from a restaurant, I tried to stop them got beat so bad was not expected to live. Me and friend against 8-9 guys. Held my own for maybe 30 secs. Did not wake up for 4 days.

    30 rode a quad off a 100ft cliff in Mexico. Fractured skull, broken clavicle, multiple ribs, internal bleeding. Rode back 2 miles to the house and passed out. Woke up in a Red Cross, with chickens running through. Asked the guy who he was and where am I. Answer, I'm your Dr, they are my friends.

    31 just days before getting released to go back to work after the Mexico debacle I thought it was a good idea to go to the Colorado river with my buds. We hit a sand bar going at least 50mph, I was thrown from the back of the boat to probably 30 yards in front. I was conscience my other friend was not so I grab his ass and put him back in the boat. He broke his arm and something else. I re broke my ribs, but worse got a bacterial infection that almost took me out. Spent the next 30 or so days in ICU.

    48 now, next will probably be a heart attack. I'm in pretty good shape, roll of the dice.
     
  14. Hamster

    Hamster Well-Known Member

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    I was 14 and we went to Colorado for church camp and went on a guided river rafting trip. Not sure if they still do this, but you straddle the raft and you have a paddle and there's a guy in the back telling you what to do.

    So we're just floating calmly along and from what I'm told he was telling everyone to squeeze their legs against the raft as hard as possible. I guess I didn't squeeze hard enough or whatever because when we hit the first rapid I went flying out of the raft and bounced off of rocks thru the rapids for at least a minute (again, so they told me later)

    I had a life jacket but no helmet. I went under several times and hit my head against the rocks and lost consciousness. Another raft pulled me out of the water and took me downstream to a clearing and I was airlifted back to a hospital in Vail. I vaguely remember the sensation of being in the helicopter.

    Of course no cell phones back then..... By the time they reached my parents it was late at night and I was alert and ok.

    No long term brain damage except I am 52 years old looking at boobies and talking to people on the Internet at 1:15 am instead of being a productive member of society.
     
  15. Tranquil

    Tranquil Well-Known Member

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    I was in the hospital once for over a month and they where going to discharge me, the nurse wanted me to take one more round of antibiotics in my IV before I left. So I begrudgingly said ok.

    While they were pumping me full of that stuff they gave me some ice cream and my parents where there with me, about half way through my ice cream I started to sweat like crazy which lasted for about 20 minutes, just sweat everywhere and I was feeling very nauseous. I asked my dad for a pan to puke in, I grabbed it, then started to puke up a bunch of blood, it seemed surreal like out of movie.

    They called my doctor and transferred me into a room where they put a stint from my jugular into my heart. Odds where against me that day, and I thank God that the nurse wanted me to have another round of antibiotics, because if not and I was discharged from the hospital, yea...
     
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  16. Fred Norris

    Fred Norris Active Member

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    When I tried to jerk off with 104 fever
     
  17. Dream Theater

    Dream Theater DAWGS E-BULLY Squad Gold

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    You still crave smack?
     
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  18. Hamster

    Hamster Well-Known Member

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    Holy crap - fuck me and my pussy rafting adventure. Nine lives dude.
     
  19. Tranquil

    Tranquil Well-Known Member

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    :spingay:
     
  20. JJDealer

    JJDealer Well-Known Member

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    No, just booze