Cocksucking AGT Article

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MarvelComics85, Jul 10, 2012.

  1. MarvelComics85

    MarvelComics85 Well-Known Member

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    http://www.nj.com/entertainment/tv/index.ssf/2012/07/americas_got_talent_njpac_nj.html
    Baba Booey and free T-shirts: 'America's Got Talent' night two, inside NJPAC

    Night two of 18 "America's Got Talent" shows proved significantly more rowdy inside the New Jersey Performing Arts Center Tuesday night. The crowd was louder and people didn't have work the next day.

    The star remains Howard Stern, his legions of faithful ticket-getters waiting patiently for as little as a glance from "America's Judge" in their general direction.

    John Schreiber, CEO of NJPAC, thanks the show for "choosing New Jersey," and makes a plug for first-time visitors to return for any number of upcoming theater engagements, whether poetry or jazz, before mentioning one of the night's bonus acts, "The great will.i.a.m." (There was also a spot from Cirque du Soleil).

    The hypeman from Monday night returns to introduce the Stern set out in the audience, plucked from the King of All Media's frequent cast of call-ins. Back again is Mariann from Brooklyn, basking in her own adoring applause.

    "You guys are much better than last night's audience," the man continues, telling the seated crowd that if he did well these first nights he'd be booked the whole season. The first night, he explains, the audience prematurely booed a magic act. So much negative enthusiasm wasn't exactly expected (one of the magicians said he'd never been booed before, ever!). Perhaps that had unfairly influenced the voting, but no matter, on with the "HOWARD!" chants. The hype guy reminds us not to use phones, chew and what to do if Sharon Osbourne gives us a thumbs up behind her back. Clap. For moral support, like.

    Towards the end of the taping, during a commercial break, the man charged with thawing the crowd and channeling applause to the cameras tells the audience that Monday night's episode, the first in Newark, "was the highest ratings that NBC's got this year."

    With a few minutes till showtime, the judges emerge, Howard in another shade of black, Howie Mandel in a happy hat with yellow accents and Osbourne in a pristine white flowy frock, holding a crewmember's hand to get to the judges' table.

    How awkward is it for the contestants to be paraded out only to have clips from the previous night, judges' criticism and all, play out larger than life on the giant screen behind them? Every taped montage you see on TV gets is delivered to the live audience in this fashion.

    The stage glows red — the color of "stop!" and "warning!" — and two acts are sent home, leaving Maurice and Shanice Hayes, the father-daughter singing act that not even the coldest heart could shun, surely (we'll see).

    Some people from Cirque du Soleil roll out. First is some guy in a loose white shirt (he shares a stylist with Sharon Osbourne) who looks like he's mastered every variation on Pilates known to humankind — the sheer force of his abs can propel him clean off the floor without a single bended knee. Then a lady that reverse-juggles various balls off the floor, and then people that catch each other while standing on each other.

    How on earth will will.i.am follow this one up? Actually during his whole "dance around to my song" set advertising a new single that's "Number one in the UK!" he ended up having ladies blowtorch metal plates on their stomachs, followed by a surprise cascade of Mylar balloons. More work for the stagehands. They take out the big brooms and corral the baubles backstage. All Cirque required was two vintage-looking cabinets for the reverse-juggling lady and a group photo with the judges during the ad break.

    At some point a lady breezes by to ... rearrange ... Stern's tendrils.

    After the bowler hat-wearing Scott Brothers triumph over the tap-dancing Lil Starr — who in all her glitter looked like a Disney character next to the metallic dubstep militia that is 787 Crew — another nod to New York via a taped segment with some contestants. Free pizza! Snapple! Leaving New Jersey!

    Later, as other contestants — the boy singer Edon and Todd Oliver the dog-triloquist — stand, waiting for the commercial break to end and their fate to be revealed, the crowd goes wild.

    Not for them. Not for Stern, Osbourne or Mandel. Not for Nick Cannon, who, if he even really needs it, owns that teleprompter. (And doesn't shy from defending himself against Howard Stern's off-camera barbs about his grammar — "America HAS voted," he pointedly offers, keeping his smile in check.)

    No, they were actually clapping for free T-shirts. More specifically, the simple prospect of having one land in their lap.

    For the people up on stage, those waiting contestants, the heavy words finally arrive:

    "The act leaving the competition and going home is …"

    At least one corner of the audience has its own answer.

    "Baba Booey!!"
     
  2. FCCstandards

    FCCstandards Non-Essential Salooner VIP

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    Well, of course, they have to write a positive piece, they're filming in Jersey.
     
  3. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    Why are you looking for AGT articles? :scratch:
     
  4. RumBalls

    RumBalls The original RumBalls, est. Jan 16, 2012

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    Why do you care?
     
  5. Pukyak Lover

    Pukyak Lover New Member Banned User

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    "At some point a lady breezes by to ... rearrange ... Stern's tendrils." hahahahaha

    Do they really have fucking tee shirt cannons at AGT? hahahahahahaha

    [​IMG]
     
  6. slacker

    slacker New Member

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    Whoever wrote that (sterns publicist, cough, cough) is a real nut swinger...

    Allegedly
     
  7. Howard Stork

    Howard Stork "Big Nosed and Jewish"

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    What a shitty show.
     
  8. Peau de Soie

    Peau de Soie Edit Button? Thanks LaserTilt!

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    Shit, this crapfest is going on at NJPAC?? That sucks. NJPAC is a nice theater (in a scary town). Now it's been all shit upon.
     
  9. isabella

    isabella VIP Extreme Gold

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