Come in sit down, relax and tell a tale about shitting your pants....

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by IAC78, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. IAC78

    IAC78 New Member Banned User

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    Have you ever shit your pants? I have...

    About 10 years ago I was driving home in a blizzard (dont ask why I was out driving in a blizzard because I dont fucking remember). I was on a two lane highway about 10km from the next town and I was stuck behind a snow plow moving at a snails pace. All the sudden my gut starts churning with shit cramps, bad.

    As Im sure you know bad shit cramps feel even worse when you're in a sitting position, I was in agony. I was also trapped, the shoulders were covered in about 6 foot high snow banks leaving pretty much no room to pull over. If I had I would have pretty much been blocking traffic. The side roads were covered in snow, unplowed. At the pace I was moving the town up ahead was a good 30 minutes out.

    I caved and shit myself and I sat in my shit for a good 40 minutes till I could get home.

    True story bro
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2014
  2. Nickthedick

    Nickthedick Absotutely

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    Can someone ban this fucking faggit.
     
  3. Orgy Pants

    Orgy Pants teklife

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    i can't relax while im shitting my pants
     
  4. IAC78

    IAC78 New Member Banned User

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    :hat:
     
  5. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    Let me get back to you. I have to dispose of some tainted pants and undergarments.
     
  6. IAC78

    IAC78 New Member Banned User

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    I remember this kid in gym class about third grade. We were playing shirts vs skins b ball and he shit himself, while running around and left shit chunks all over the floor. The teacher punished him for some reason and made him pick up the cones from an obstacle course. Instead of picking the cones up and walking with it to the next one, he slid the cones on the floor and smeared his shit all over the place.
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2014
  7. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Trump's African American Gold

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    Igno.
     
  8. Nickthedick

    Nickthedick Absotutely

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    Take a chance, Shit your pants. I always say.
     
  9. Nickthedick

    Nickthedick Absotutely

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    :lol:
     
  10. IAC78

    IAC78 New Member Banned User

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    ^fago
     
  11. Nickthedick

    Nickthedick Absotutely

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    Let my tell you something about pile-ons. They are all shit smeared. :secret:
     
  12. IAC78

    IAC78 New Member Banned User

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    The more you know?
     
  13. artiesoffspring

    artiesoffspring Hugs and kisses

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    I prefer to piss my pants.
     
  14. artiesoffspring

    artiesoffspring Hugs and kisses

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    Right after I shit them.
     
  15. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    IAC78 is probably my best friend on the internet right now
     
  16. Nickthedick

    Nickthedick Absotutely

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    Nobody cares, Swinehund.
     
  17. datchguy

    datchguy New Member Banned User

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    Just now I was sitting here, reading your thread, I had the bubble guts, massive shooting pains in my stomach and decided to take a leap of faith: a faith in a fart.

    It came out in a torrent of foul smelling chocolate that made the Colorado flash floods, the washing away of U.S. 24 looks like child's play. My boxers and computer chair were nothing but a Bolivian village at the foot of a mountain during the rainy season, getting buried under tons of angry brown earth.

    Now I must retreat to the shower to cleanse myself. Those moments in life where a shower head doubles as a bidet must be cherished and treasured. The soiled underwear, chair, and my dignity will be cast to the curb for removal by the local municipal waste services. Until two men from a country named after a certain imaginary line on the Earth's surface equidistant from the North Pole and South Pole, dividing the Earth into the Northern Hemisphere and Southern Hemisphere show up to cast my shame, guilt, gullibility for trusting in flatulence into a giant metal coffin and crush it like this intestinal soup has crushed my soul and self worth, until that moment it will sit on the curb, reeking to high heaven, being a constant reminder that a healthy diet, leafy greens, lean meat, a gallon of water a day, and fiber supplements is not worth the false hope. Like Pandora's Box or a prisoner's last moments before suicide: hope is all that was left and hope is what became the killer.
     
  18. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    Nick you are such a dick
     
  19. IAC78

    IAC78 New Member Banned User

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    Ive been known to clean out my asshole with the shower head.
     
  20. datchguy

    datchguy New Member Banned User

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    When babby wipes just won't do the deed, it's shower time!