Conversations overheard in an local pub . . .

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Diogenes1, Jun 10, 2013.

  1. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    these are two older blue-collars sitting at a bistro table two over from me with my laptop . . .

    Man #1: "I oughta' kick him in the ass, that faggot brother of mine don't wanna work . . . just wants to sit around the house all day and mooch offa Ma."

    Man #2: "Punch him in the cock, that's what I'd do."

    Man #1: "What the fuck would that accomplish?"

    Man #2: "His dick'd be fuckin' broke, so he'd have to work."

    Man #1: "That makes no fuckin' sense."

    Man #2: "Ey, whaddya want from me? Wanna order some nachos?"

    Man #1: "Sure, what the hell . . . "
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  2. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

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    i was in a dive bar and heard a 20 minute exchange on the various positions of the whigs and the tories in 18th century colonial life :wtf:
     
  3. TonyJax

    TonyJax White Privilege Denied. VIP Gold

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  4. Lou Loomis

    Lou Loomis Feel the Gern

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    Worst thread ever.
     
  5. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    Man and woman and her teenaged daughter sitting in a booth:

    woman: "You hafta' go to the school we choose."

    kid: "I ain't goin'.

    man: "Yer goin' and that's all there is to it."

    kid: "I ain't goin'."

    woman: "Whattamigonnadowithher?"

    man: "You tell her what she's doing and she''' do it."

    kid: "I ain't goin'."

    woman: "I don't wish to discuss this anymore."

    kid: "I didn't bring it up, you did."

    man: "Goddamitall, let's get outta here."

    Exit dysfunctional nightmare brood.
     
  6. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    it just might be

    i aim low :)
     
  7. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

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    I was playing chess with my kid the other day and he called a bishop a bushop then proceeded to argue with me that it was in fact called a bushop not a bishop.
    How ya like that?

    Genius!
     
  8. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    write it out as dialogue, and it appears dumber than it already is
     
  9. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

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    :jj:

    it's a cross between bullshit and bishop...he's brilliant and doesn't even know it!
     
  10. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    OP is a complete fabrication
     
  11. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    two servers, both female, one older, one in her early 20s:

    older: you like him?

    younger: kinda. He's a real nice guy.

    older: They seem that way at first until they get what they want.

    younger: what do they want?

    older: you know what they want.

    younger: a new car?

    older: no.

    younger: then what is it?

    older: we can discuss it another time.

    younger: all he wants is to bang in the shower n' after that he goes out for a beer.

    older server does a face palm


    true story
     
  12. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    its complete troof
     
  13. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    guy delivering cases of budweiser

    "Where ya want this?"

    server: Are you new here? Behind the bar. The bar back will stock it from there.

    "OK, so I stock it by the bar?

    Yes

    "Over there?"

    "yes, over there."

    "By the bar?"

    "Yes, walk in a straight line until you reach that long table thingy, put the cases by the end of it."

    "OK, n' your fuckin' hawt, just sayin'."
     
  14. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    two gay guys by the jukebox

    Gay 1: I only have enough for four songs.

    Gay 2: Then let me choose.

    Gay 1: No, it's my fucking money, bitch.

    Gay 2: Play "Dancing Queen."

    Gay 1: Fuck no, we'll get our asses kicked if we do that.

    Gay 2: Okay, choose "Mamma Mia.

    Gay 1: That's the same song practically.

    Gay 2: Then don't be a bitch and play them both.

    Gay 1: Go away.

    Gay 2: You're a big meanie.

    Gay 1: It's my fucking money. Skee-daddle.

    30 seconds later and he chooses ZZ Top's "Sharp-Dressed Man."


    This is troof too.
     
  15. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

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    Those are boring. Why are you recording those?
     
  16. Lou Loomis

    Lou Loomis Feel the Gern

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    worth noting: the thread got way worse since my previous post.
     
  17. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

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    I heard my neighbors (drunks) back when I lived up north was yelling about getting a divorce and how the man lost his job b/c of his drinking and fucking his 18 yr old secretary.
    And how she (the wife) was a real woman b/c she was staying with him, standing by him, and he needed to appreciate this.

    Another neighbor when I lived in a different place was talking, screaming, so loud on her cell to her bf I heard her saying her life was worth more than the ten grand they had robbed someone of the night before and how being shot at was not her idea of love.

    No lie. Both true stories.
     
  18. basketcase

    basketcase Pissed that Naz only has 2 legs

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    Ive read every word so far. Its edgy and informational.
     
  19. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

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  20. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    I cant alter people and their conversations.