Cool Hermit Story

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by 58lambert58, Nov 22, 2015.

  1. 58lambert58

    58lambert58 Hobbyist

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    6,883
    Likes Received:
    1,838
    Cool story I read last night. Worth your time on this Sunday morning.

    http://www.gq.com/story/the-last-true-hermit

    The Last True Hermit

    For nearly thirty years, a phantom haunted the woods of Central Maine. Unseen and unknown, he lived in secret, creeping into homes in the dead of night and surviving on what he could steal. To the spooked locals, he became a legend—or maybe a myth. They wondered how he could possibly be real. Until one day last year, the hermit came out of the forest

    The hermit set out of camp at midnight, carrying his backpack and his bag of break-in tools, and threaded through the forest, rock to root to rock, every step memorized. Not a boot print left behind. It was cold and nearly moonless, a fine night for a raid, so he hiked about an hour to the Pine Tree summer camp, a few dozen cabins spread along the shoreline of North Pond in central Maine. With an expert twist of a screwdriver, he popped open a door of the dining hall and slipped inside, scanning the pantry shelves with his penlight.

    Candy! Always good. Ten rolls of Smarties, stuffed in a pocket. Then, into his backpack, a bag of marshmallows, two tubs of ground coffee, some Humpty Dumpty potato chips. Burgers and bacon were in the locked freezer. On a previous raid at Pine Tree, he’d stolen a key to the walk-in, and now he used it to open the stainless-steel door. The key was attached to a plastic four-leaf-clover key chain, with one of the leaves partially broken off. A three-and-a-half-leaf clover.


    He could’ve used a little more luck. Newly installed in the Pine Tree kitchen, hidden behind the ice machine, was a military-grade motion detector. The device remained silent in the kitchen but sounded an alarm in the home of Sergeant Terry Hughes, a game warden who’d become obsessed with catching the thief. Hughes lived a mile away. He raced to the camp in his pickup truck and sprinted to the rear of the dining hall. He peeked in a window.

    http://www.gq.com/story/the-last-true-hermit

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    31,753
    Likes Received:
    5,861
  3. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth UP YOURS Gold

    Reputations:
    48,356
    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2010
    Messages:
    105,016
    Likes Received:
    55,265
    There's no finish to the story in THIS thread either.
     
  4. idiotbox

    idiotbox Looking for a dime and found a quarter. VIP

    Reputations:
    67,816
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    23,459
    Likes Received:
    27,143
    where's the nudes?
     
  5. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? Gold

    Reputations:
    76,039
    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    53,145
    Likes Received:
    28,186
    If he was grouchy, you could call him a hermit crab.
     
  6. StormCloud

    StormCloud Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    1,387
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2012
    Messages:
    7,458
    Likes Received:
    2,094
    Cool story. You would have figured that he would have picked a more temperate climate for his home in the woods.
     
  7. wigtropolis

    wigtropolis Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    9,835
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    22,195
    Likes Received:
    13,360
    Is he dead or dies
     
  8. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Wash me. VIP

    Reputations:
    198,053
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2010
    Messages:
    59,317
    Likes Received:
    36,697
    It is Schmoopy! Look at this quote from the article:

    "'You should have seen me in my twenties,' he boasted. 'I was lord of the woods. I ruled the land I walked upon. I was tough and clever.' But over time, like an aging athlete, his body began to break down. The biggest issue was his eyesight. 'For the last ten years, anything beyond an arm’s length was a blur. I used my ears more than my eyes.' If he saw a pair of glasses during a break-in, he always tried them on, but was unable to find a better prescription. His agility faded; bruises took longer to heal. His teeth constantly hurt."
     
  9. loogaroo

    loogaroo Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    1,255
    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,603
    Likes Received:
    1,915
    interesting that he became a rabid right winger from doing that
     
  10. Blackened

    Blackened Commitment to Excellence

    Reputations:
    15,535
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2010
    Messages:
    14,641
    Likes Received:
    7,853
    tits or gtfo
     
  11. Artie Laugh

    Artie Laugh **** VIP

    Reputations:
    34,071
    Joined:
    May 10, 2012
    Messages:
    10,334
    Likes Received:
    9,522

    Yes, this is definitely him.

    That was all he had to tell me. He’d grown weary of my visits. Please, he begged, leave me alone; we are not friends. I don’t want to be your friend, he said, I don’t want to be anyone’s friend. "I’m not going to miss you at all," he added.
     
  12. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    269,018
    Joined:
    May 23, 2011
    Messages:
    159,336
    Likes Received:
    92,142
    Good post. Read the whole thing
     
  13. HaroldJackson

    HaroldJackson Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    2,350
    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2010
    Messages:
    6,152
    Likes Received:
    1,108
    Wonder how much he jacked
     
  14. walterHwhite

    walterHwhite Heisenberg

    Reputations:
    5,638
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2014
    Messages:
    9,098
    Likes Received:
    5,931
    :lol:
    @Anfkid @Mack @crazypreacher @Pill Queen @Nunz @JameGumb @FatKidSullivan @Scotty4x4 @Mr Sinister
     
  15. Pill Queen

    Pill Queen Elegantly wasted VIP

    Reputations:
    79,279
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2014
    Messages:
    12,810
    Likes Received:
    17,778
  16. Nunz

    Nunz Lar's lurking(# 11a). VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    50,547
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    12,764
    Likes Received:
    22,329
  17. walterHwhite

    walterHwhite Heisenberg

    Reputations:
    5,638
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2014
    Messages:
    9,098
    Likes Received:
    5,931
    :lol:
     
  18. JFK

    JFK Ask not what your country can do for you. POTY Politics

    Reputations:
    147,887
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2015
    Messages:
    13,007
    Likes Received:
    30,891
    Cool story.
     
  19. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,352
    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2012
    Messages:
    84,309
    Likes Received:
    97,579
    He does smell a bit gamey.
     
    DarkFriday likes this.
  20. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

    Reputations:
    48,096
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    219,192
    Likes Received:
    45,143