Cool Hermit Story

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by 58lambert58, Nov 22, 2015.

  1. 58lambert58

    58lambert58 Hobbyist VIP

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    Cool story I read last night. Worth your time on this Sunday morning.

    http://www.gq.com/story/the-last-true-hermit

    The Last True Hermit

    For nearly thirty years, a phantom haunted the woods of Central Maine. Unseen and unknown, he lived in secret, creeping into homes in the dead of night and surviving on what he could steal. To the spooked locals, he became a legend—or maybe a myth. They wondered how he could possibly be real. Until one day last year, the hermit came out of the forest

    The hermit set out of camp at midnight, carrying his backpack and his bag of break-in tools, and threaded through the forest, rock to root to rock, every step memorized. Not a boot print left behind. It was cold and nearly moonless, a fine night for a raid, so he hiked about an hour to the Pine Tree summer camp, a few dozen cabins spread along the shoreline of North Pond in central Maine. With an expert twist of a screwdriver, he popped open a door of the dining hall and slipped inside, scanning the pantry shelves with his penlight.

    Candy! Always good. Ten rolls of Smarties, stuffed in a pocket. Then, into his backpack, a bag of marshmallows, two tubs of ground coffee, some Humpty Dumpty potato chips. Burgers and bacon were in the locked freezer. On a previous raid at Pine Tree, he’d stolen a key to the walk-in, and now he used it to open the stainless-steel door. The key was attached to a plastic four-leaf-clover key chain, with one of the leaves partially broken off. A three-and-a-half-leaf clover.


    He could’ve used a little more luck. Newly installed in the Pine Tree kitchen, hidden behind the ice machine, was a military-grade motion detector. The device remained silent in the kitchen but sounded an alarm in the home of Sergeant Terry Hughes, a game warden who’d become obsessed with catching the thief. Hughes lived a mile away. He raced to the camp in his pickup truck and sprinted to the rear of the dining hall. He peeked in a window.

    http://www.gq.com/story/the-last-true-hermit

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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  3. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth Impeach THIS Gold

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    There's no finish to the story in THIS thread either.
     
  4. idiotbox

    idiotbox Looking for a dime and found a quarter.

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    where's the nudes?
     
  5. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    If he was grouchy, you could call him a hermit crab.
     
  6. StormCloud

    StormCloud Well-Known Member VIP

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    Cool story. You would have figured that he would have picked a more temperate climate for his home in the woods.
     
  7. wigtropolis

    wigtropolis Well-Known Member

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    Is he dead or dies
     
  8. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    It is Schmoopy! Look at this quote from the article:

    "'You should have seen me in my twenties,' he boasted. 'I was lord of the woods. I ruled the land I walked upon. I was tough and clever.' But over time, like an aging athlete, his body began to break down. The biggest issue was his eyesight. 'For the last ten years, anything beyond an arm’s length was a blur. I used my ears more than my eyes.' If he saw a pair of glasses during a break-in, he always tried them on, but was unable to find a better prescription. His agility faded; bruises took longer to heal. His teeth constantly hurt."
     
  9. loogaroo

    loogaroo Well-Known Member

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    interesting that he became a rabid right winger from doing that
     
  10. Blackened

    Blackened Commitment to Excellence VIP

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    tits or gtfo
     
  11. Artie Laugh

    Artie Laugh ****

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    Yes, this is definitely him.

    That was all he had to tell me. He’d grown weary of my visits. Please, he begged, leave me alone; we are not friends. I don’t want to be your friend, he said, I don’t want to be anyone’s friend. "I’m not going to miss you at all," he added.
     
  12. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Good post. Read the whole thing
     
  13. HaroldJackson

    HaroldJackson Well-Known Member

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    Wonder how much he jacked
     
  14. walterHwhite

    walterHwhite Heisenberg

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    :lol:
    @Anfkid @Mack @crazypreacher @Pill Queen @Nunz @JameGumb @FatKidSullivan @Scotty4x4 @Mr Sinister
     
  15. Pill Queen

    Pill Queen Elegantly wasted VIP

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  16. Nunz

    Nunz Lar's lurking. VIP Gold

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  17. walterHwhite

    walterHwhite Heisenberg

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    :lol:
     
  18. JFK

    JFK Ask not what your country can do for you.

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    Cool story.
     
  19. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    He does smell a bit gamey.
     
    DarkFriday likes this.
  20. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter VIP

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