Coping Mechanisms

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by LonghornJ, May 20, 2012.

  1. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    There's a lot of annoying, stressful shit out there in the world. Things in your daily life that are just generally irritating, and you can't really get away from them. Shit like long traffic lights, asshole drivers, customer service centers, and Adele.

    I hate that fat bitch Adele, and yet I cannot get away from her shitty music or hearing or reading about that fat ginger bitch on a daily basis. Its everywhere.

    To cope with this plauge I have resorted to changing the lyrics to her songs to revolve around food. Rolling in the deep? No, rolling in the feast, you fat miserable firecrotch.

    Rumor has it? No no, "this food's fantastic."

    Someone like you? Someone likes foooooooood.

    I find it quite hilarious, and in the annoying brief moment when I skip across one of her horrible songs on the radio, rather than suffer an uncontrollable urge to shove my fist through the radio, I get a brief chuckle instead.

    I highly recommend this strategy to anyone else that is highly irritated by the fat Irish ginger cunt cancer that is Adele.

    Thank you.
     
  2. Tarpon1965

    Tarpon1965 Resident Dawg Whisperer

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    I originally read the title as "Coping Mexicans". I really should slow down and work on my comprehension.
     
  3. beatlejaws

    beatlejaws nowhere poster

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    two words: fetal position
     
  4. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    There's a whole other mechanism that goes to coping with them...
     
  5. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

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    I thought you were talking about coping saws.
     
  6. GHP

    GHP New Member Banned User

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    Adele - A Deli
     
  7. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? Gold

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    I cope with it by only listening to sports talk radio.
     
  8. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    There ya go. :)
     
  9. Stew Nod

    Stew Nod Well-Known Member Banned User

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    you're listening to the wrong radio stations
     
  10. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP

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    I advocate this method. While I do not listen to sports radio, I do only listen to channels that would never play that tripe.

    I have never, ever heard an Adele song. :salute:
     
  11. beatlejaws

    beatlejaws nowhere poster

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    he'll really be mad when Adele starts covering ZZ Top
     
  12. Tarpon1965

    Tarpon1965 Resident Dawg Whisperer

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    But you have eaten at A Deli.
     
  13. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    Sometimes it's not by choice--it could be at work, while shopping, hold music on the phone...
     
  14. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP

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    Of course I have. Stop being ridiculous.
     
  15. FtM

    FtM Starless & Bible Black Gold

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    This thread made me laugh...and I thank you for that, J.

    When I left home, I got a job at a horrible fake 50's diner. It was almost as bad as the one in one of my favorite movies "Ghost World". At one point, they played the soundtrack to "Grease" on a loop. I would do 12+ hour shifts where I ran a line and had a lot of turnover.

    I too resorted in changing the words to all the songs to amuse myself and the people working on the line. One of my favorite parody lines was to "You're the One That I Want", which was "I've got crabs, they're multiplying!".

    I used to actually be a fan of that movie, but now I have Fake 50's Diner PTSD. :eek:
     
  16. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Single VIP

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    I use this
    [​IMG]
     
  17. FtM

    FtM Starless & Bible Black Gold

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    I prefer this and a very long stick. ;)

    [​IMG]
     
  18. fenderbaum

    fenderbaum Well-Known Member

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    Hey Longhorn , how are you? I like to got on the bike, or in the camaro and go for a nice ride. Helps me clear my head and stay happy.
     
  19. fenderbaum

    fenderbaum Well-Known Member

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    How do you think that the band Nails on a Chalkboard feels about that comparison I wonder? [video=youtube;2GaxOl_hiU0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GaxOl_hiU0[/video]
     
  20. Billy Brown

    Billy Brown Suck my dick from the back VIP

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    Who the hell is Adele?