Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by reno, Oct 8, 2015.
If Dawg Shed University existed, What courses would be offered?
Perruquier 101.. Scratch that Advanced Perruquier
Wig styling and maintenance.
Masonry 201: Chimneys
World History 301: Zion
Psychology 201: Pathological diseases of the brain
Political Steering 101 - the art of making anything no matter how remotely not political....entirely political.
Very true but only for the political nuts here.
Yeah , No Shit....
So true. Start a thread about a little girl hugging a puppy and the political nuts will all come out of the woodwork and blame Obama for being a puppy killing muslim lover. LOL.
I'd offer a dog training course.
Not that I'm a professional or anything, but I know a hell of alot more about it than you do (probably).
2004. My dog was a puppy, I had just recently acquired him from an asian lady. He was still just a few weeks old when I got him, but I didnt start training until probably 6 months in. It wasnt difficult. And it all started with "HERE". I sat with him one day, alone in a spacious, quiet room.. and drilled the word HERE until the little dummy figured it out. It took awhile.. I dont remember how long.. maybe an hour. I held up my index finger and said HEEEERE. HEEERE. Levi, HERE.
And about the 100th time, he got the idea and ran up and put his nose on my finger
The trick was I smothered him with praise when he did it. and then we kept drilling. I didnt neg or punish him (we'll get to that) when he didnt respond to the command, but when he did, I praised and hugged. And he smiled popped his lipstick.
so HERE is the go to word. Very helpful if he trys to run off, you just start screaming at him, get back over HERE!!!!!
In fact somewhere along the way I mixed a snap of my finger in there and now all I have to do is snap and put my finger out and
he runs and puts this little nose there.
but that's only half of the equation, you've also gotta have NO.
NO is actually almost even more important than HERE because it stops the dog from doing whatever he's doing. The trick there is to smack the shit out of him (carefully) and associate pain and sadness with that NO word in the beginning. After that just the word will do. an go deep with it.. you wanna be almost growling it, like a devil would.
I dont normally associate with my neighbors much, but this black guy moved in downstairs and I wanted to up my street cred so I said hello to him out on the jogging trail and we kind of hit it off. I mentioned I fix computers and sure enough he has a laptop in disrepair, so I fixed it up for him for cheap. Since our schedules dont match up, he wasnt able to stop by the shop to pick it up and receive my patented os reinstall orientation.
So i brought his laptop to his apartment to help him out and bc I wanted to get a look in there... and he has a dog.
The fucking thing doesnt listen at all, of course it doesnt know what the guy's saying. It doesnt know any words. and its one of those dogs that wants to jump all up on you and claw you and shit.. pitbull I think. Seemed like a sweet baby but what a fuckn retard. On top of not knowing HERE or NO, the dog is name COCO which sounds just like NO or NONO. So its pretty much a fuckup.
Poor thing is probably gonna just get dumped off at the shelter where he got it. He's a nice guy and I appreciate him adopting it but it just sucks that its gonna be a wild idiot its whole life. I thought about suggesting some training tips, but no one listens to me anyway, Robin.
spoken like a true Whig.
How Not To Be Stupid You Moron.
Instructor- Ben Stern
Selfies and Social Media for Dummies taught by Professor Beth Stern (or is it taught by a dummy?).
To be fair, that never happened during the Bush years.