News Dawgshed Exclusive: @Dream Theater's Guide to Being a Badass

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by garypagetwo, Apr 16, 2016.

  1. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo The Gun Gold

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    This is the bootleg non-sanctioned dawgshed exclusive guide to being a badass, fashioned after mr.masculine himself @Dream Theater. So if you want to be as badass as masculine as him, just read ahead :)

    Who says size matters?
    [​IMG]

    First of all, you're going to need the badass biker starter pack, because if youre a biker then youre a fucking masculine badass, everyone knows that. If you can check off everything pictured, no one can deny you're a fucking badass when they see you.

    [​IMG]

    FUCK YEAH !!!!
    [​IMG]


    Many of the greatest human innovations have been inspired by animals. In this spirit, the bikers like to travel like packs of giant rabid sewer rats.

    Oh, and see that thing they're all getting ready to pile into? Looks like a ferry; and it is -- to the untrained eye.
    [​IMG]

    Its actually a party boat for masculine badasses and their bitches :cool:

    [​IMG]

    So definitely book out a whole family ferry, fill it up with yourself and your badass friends, jump on the tables, and have a fucking blast and best of all no one will dare tell you that you cant cause youre a fucking badass :jj:

    By the way, helmets are for fifi men. DONT wear them. But wear camo, because life is a battle, and youre a fucking soldier in it, everyone else is a civilian. There can be absolutely NO doubt that youre a badass. Put horns on your windshield, etc, anything necessary to make yourself more badass.

    [​IMG]

    There really isnt much more to it. If you post online, just keep reminding everyone that youre a badass masculine alpha male, and theyre not.
     
  2. Boomer

    Boomer Who is your daddy and what does he do?

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    First in.
     
  3. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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  4. hidden dragon

    hidden dragon the princess of darkness Staff Member

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    Dream Theater better watch out, gary's in love with him.
     
  5. Xhorder

    Xhorder \m/ VIP

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  6. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    That's very creative, gary.
     
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  7. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Nunz, Dream Theater and DarkFriday like this.
  8. walterHwhite

    walterHwhite Heisenberg

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    This again? :nojj:
     
  9. walterHwhite

    walterHwhite Heisenberg

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  10. Afganistand

    Afganistand Motivationally Deficient VIP

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  11. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo The Gun Gold

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    Dirty South likes this.
  12. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo The Gun Gold

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    Shit, I almost forgot these real boots made for men.

    "I jut bought some real boots made for men. Corcoran brand jump boots made right here in the good old U S of A!" - Dream Theater

    [​IMG]
     
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  13. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    As already mentioned, this is the 2nd of the 3 meltdowns in progress tonight. Nothing to see here.
     
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  14. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Could you please post why Gar is no one to judge male footwear?
     
  15. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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    Gar, are you going to start another one of those "I'm off my meds because my Tinder date blew me off, and I am going to kill the pain with frozen pizzas and crying my eyes out" threads anytime soon ?

    Those are fun.

    Good try with this one, though.
     
  16. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    Valid points are raised though....

    What is a MC doing on a Ferry? :wtf:
     
  17. hidden dragon

    hidden dragon the princess of darkness Staff Member

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    he's a broken record. he's a stalker.
     
  18. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Booze cruise?
     
  19. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    BethSucks likes this.
  20. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    Skinny jeans and blue suede shoes. :coffee:
    [​IMG]