Greetings bar faggots. I am @Slow, the pussy magnet extraordinaire that has grown too big for the stern forum to contain. By popular demand we are extending more news coverage to the bar. Here are your top stories. Shitcocks and Shamrocks Flashback to new years eve..... People were in high spirits on the board and for reasons beyond me,someone broached the subject of a return for @shamrock. In case you are not familiar with the situation, let me bring you up to speed. Shamrock was a female poster on the shed, so naturally she got way more attention, likes, and reps than she deserved. She was a B level poster at best but because she supposedly had a vagina she had enough losers following her around the board to convince her with a showering of reps that she was capable of writing anything interesting. This is where @Stew Nod comes in. Now you all know stewnod as being the whiney faggot that nobody likes on the shed. Well, apparently he and @wife is a whore had a beef about god knows what. Cue stewnod to fullfill his legacy and the path to typical online douchebagerry. First he makes a call out thread on WiAW, then he makes a cry baby thread when his call out gets hoochied. Then he melts like an epic fucking faggot and cries to the mods about his question thread getting hoochied. This results in a temporary ban. This leads to stewnod cashing in his years of rep points from shamrock. In the opposite of pussy e knight moves..... Fucking flaming faggot stewnod sends shamrock to do his dirty work. She calls WIAW out and tries to set up a meeting between the two for a west side story brawl to have his "jaw broken". Needless to say, shamrock took a huge load of ban juice to the chin. Wifeisawhore was last seen petitioning @dawg to lift the ban out of the generosity of his heart. What say you, shed readers? Would you like to see a shamrock return? Lever Fever The shed has been anxiously waiting for a ryan lever update, Unfortunately the long awaited update was not what we were hoping for...... Ryan is still alive and not dead from aids. Welcome back @Ryan Lever ! Gang Violence And Stern Forum Savages Ruining The Bar There has been a vicious assault on the west side of the shed that occured during the late hours of mid week.... The bar's favorite Larry had a run in with the stern forum's answer to the cobra kai. @larryluncg was beaten unconscious with a hammering of negs by @LawyerLarry and his gang. @ClintDagger , @ljc , @tradioguy69 , @mr.ppv , @EDDIEVRULZ , @ShutUpSitDown. Larry is currently recovering in intensive care. We at shed news wish him a speedy recovery. Faggotkid Sullivan Crying Again Remember when @FatKidSullivan made his call out thread about @shitty , @EasyJesus , and @Sea Slob ? Ya, me neither but to be fair i dont think anyone remembers anything relevant that he has ever said in here. Anyway, fks had his callout thread bumped this week. Fks supposedly freaked when he thought it would cause drama with posters he has since made up with. He was last seen huddled in the corner of the nurses lounge frantically typing pm's to the powers that be, begging them to close the thread. What is fks so afraid of? Why is he such a pussy about his thread getting bumped? We will try to answer some of these questions for next time. http://www.dawgshed.com/threads/shitty-easyjesus-and-sea-slob-are-pieces-of-shit.165077/ Neesie Mourns Doc Sante It was late Sunday night when the news of Doc Sante's passing broke and you know what that means..... @Neesie was hammered from a long day of throwing back her fifth of vladimir. She must be on a period that could make a texas flood look like a spritz because she went into a bitchfest of twat burnt whinery that tops her usual cuntascending self.. Basically, she was complaing about the announcements of people dying on the board. Naturally, nobody gave a fuck and she must have passed out drunk because she was speechless when anyone tried to respond with logic. Dont worry neesie, when you finally kick the bucket nobody will make a thread because NOBODY WILL GIVE A FUCK. If you are still reading by now you must have crossed over from the stern forum because everyone knows bar posters are illiterate mongoloids that communicate with pictures of food. If you are still reading..... I am looking forward to interacting with more of the bar in the future. The rumors are certainly true about the bar. You guys know how to party. For everyone at the news team.... Myself, @mr.dracula, @Scotty4x4 , thanks for reading. Spoiler: Cliff notes for bar readers stewnod = faggot, nessie = old drunk bitch, larryluncg negged, lever still gay, fks still a pussy.