News DAWGSHED NEWS BULLETIN for 1/30/16- The Epic, Of War and Reps

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Slow, Jan 30, 2016.

  1. Slow

    Slow My name is my name DawgShed News

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    Welcome to another exciting edition of DAWGSHED NEWS. I am SLOW as fuck and these are your top stories.....




    SHORTWAVE98 FINED 1,000,000 POINTS AND BANNED FROM FUTURE DAWG SHED HALL OF FAME CONSIDERATION IN REP DOPING SCANDAL!

    News broke late last night of the developing scandal. The powers that be have decided to make adjustments to the current rep system. The biggest impact from this was felt by @Shortwave98 . You may know shortwave as the grouchy old man that tells the young millenials to get off his thread lawn. Well if you didn't know before, he was very proud of his million plus reps on the shed. So much so in fact that it was the headline of his plenty of fish dating profile.

    Shortwave's claim to shed fame took a huge hit this morning when he tested postive for bullshit altered reps he didn't deserve.


    [​IMG]



    When the mods took away inappropriate reps for unfunny and boring posts, poor shorty woke laying in a pool of negative one million rep period blood.

    Will he be able to gain these reps back? That is doubtful as the mods have put an end to one person being repped over and over again by the same circle jerk of gay smiles.

    More news on this as it breaks.







    POLITICS POTY LTD86 BACKS DOWN FROM POLL CHALLENGE!

    Our last stern forum news edition saw a fight break out between reigning stern forum POTY @wife is a whore and "politics POTY" @ltd86 . WIAW brought up a very good point that winning a POTY with just 12 votes is a disgrace to the title. Some generic insults were exchanged until someone brought up the idea of a poll to decide who was the more respected POTY.

    A challenge was issued to have a run off between the two and have rights to the other's avatar for one month.

    LTD was initially making claims of being a winner, winning at elections, winning in life but mysteriously disappeared when the plans were being finalized.

    Will LTD accept the challenge or is he a chicken shit?

    [​IMG]




    Speaking of LTD, he is one of the other tragedies of last nights rep debacle. He too, had his manipulated reps revoked.

    LTD learned of the news this morning when he was attending church at his local god hate fags chapel when he received a text from @1Vegasgirl breaking the news.

    Needless to say he was distraught.









    [​IMG]














    INFAMOUS SHED RACIST RECEIVES PARDON!

    [​IMG]

    "Serial vaggot" racist @Dave Matthews is shown above being arrested a few weeks ago and sent to shed guantanamo bay. During his time in prison he was rumored to be frantically stalking shed poster family members and plotting his revenge.

    Well the news department received a tip that some mysterious and powerful latinos who shall not be named have helped him break out and have lifted his ban through a series of underground tunnels.

    We here at the news department look forward to Dave's next witty racial slur and his inevitable perma-ban.

    Don't let us down Dave!













    DAWGSHED REFUGEE CRISIS CONTINUES!

    The board seems to finally have adjusted to dealing with @Chriza and @Kanye West . Well, due to an open border and the stern forum's long established policy of being a sanctuary city board, more bar refugee rejects have followed suit looking for threads containing more than 3 people to troll.

    [​IMG]

    This newest invasion was highlighted by a failed bait thread by legendary bar troll @garypagetwo which can be seen below here

    http://www.dawgshed.com/threads/dawgshed-post-on-reddit.175311/#post-11091884

    In case you never bother to venture out of the stern forum, gary went into a downward spiral of depression which led him to having a thread melt down and being banned after his multiple failed attempts to become a dawgshed mod.

    He has been banned more times than @bennymuso has created diarrhea of the keyboard threads.

    The feds have been so busy tracking gary that notorious bar faggots @Daveindiego and @freds have managed to slip into the stern forum. Their boring and witless posts are sure to cause some car accidents for shed members that read the board on their phone during their morning commutes.

    We look forward to more great stuff guys!


    When will the mods tighten up border security? Will a merge force itself? More to come.













    UN inspectors suspect Larry Inc close to nuclear capabilities!



    @LawyerLarry met his match when he was confronted one day recently by notorious internet badass @Yosemite Sam .

    [​IMG]




    Needless to say, dem larry inc boys were not far behind and a beating broke out that hasn't been seen since Daniel Larusso got butter butted while trying to throw his bicycle over his mommy's apartment complex fence.







    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]








    Sam made sure to fall deeper into the melt trap when he made a thread crying about his red negative rep score.








    [​IMG]













    This resulted in another not so worthy challenger stepping up to take on the forum cobra kai, larry inc boys.

    Meet stinkfist. A long time poster with a good taste in music but an edge that is more suiting of aenema and less so of the hard hitting undertow. He woke up in the intensive care unit of neg rep university hospital. Please send your prayers














    [​IMG]
















    With all of this online bullying what was the stern forum to do? The e-tough guy bat signal was shining in the air when @Chibbs answered the call . Unfortunately for chibbs, things went down hill for him when the ref was inadvertently knocked out. (His boyfriend dragged him away from the computer for an hour or so to have a blood lubed butt fuck-athon in the shower)

    While chibbs was away he was hammered with -250,000 negs. Larry inc didnt just sweep the leg they ripped it off and beat poor chibbs to death with it.













    [​IMG]










    Naturally, a guy like Chibbs who doesn't care at all about online reputation points did the mature thing and ignored it.

    whoops, for a second there i forgot I was at the shed and we are talking about life and death with reputation points.

    Chibbs made a crybaby thread and squealed louder than an ass raping scene from Deliverance when he fired off alert after alert to the mods demanding his reputation points back.




    The shed reached out to Chibbs for a comment on the matter and he had the following to say...







    We also reached out to Larry inc who issued the following official statement

    [​IMG]

    They also warned that a 5 day ban doesn't scare true gangsters from delivering justice and that a week in the drink aint no thang for larry inc








    Which brings us to where we are now.......








    FORUM ON HIGH SUICIDE ALERT!

    Dozens of long time posters woke up this morning wondering where are their reps?

    Did you make an awesome joke about Howard Stern wearing a wig and score 5,000 imaginary points from internet strangers? It most likely made your day. Or perhaps you made a joke about his wife being dumb and having big teeth and felt so loved when you got an alert notifying you of +150 points to your life score.

    Well unfortunately, many members of the shed woke up this morning to a false report that reps were being permanently disabled.


    Unfortunately, for some of the members of the board that work on Saturdays it was too late.........







    [​IMG]


    We will miss you @IfTheyOnlyKnew



    Seriously, if your rep score is getting you down please call the national suicide hotline at 1 (800) 273-8255 and someone will be there to help you.






    Until then we can all enjoy the inevitable collision course we have with this board one day spontaneously imploding from the herculean levels of butt hurt that we all enjoy on a daily basis.


    [​IMG]

    For myself, @mr.dracula, @Scotty4x4 please continue to tag us if you see someone's asshole bleeding into a pool of tears in a thread about very serious topics on a VERY SERIOUS message board.






















    PS. The news team would also like to wish a happy one year anniversary to the alpha and the omega of forum threads...

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Dick Fitzwell

    Dick Fitzwell Opinions are like assholes ... and so am I

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  3. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    More readable than mr dracula but just as gay.
     
  4. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    Hey stupid! ltd86 took a bigger hit than me. Fix that bullshit!
     
  5. downtheshoreDom

    downtheshoreDom You Trãsh

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    ooooooohhhhhh yeaaaaaahhhhh
     
  6. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    I liked it good read.
     
  7. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    Bunch of lies.
     
  8. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    :wtf:
     
  9. Limo Wreck

    Limo Wreck Aboard the great mothership Staff Member

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    Needless to say, dem larry inc boys were not far behind and a beating broke out that hasn't been seen since Daniel Larusso got butter butted while trying to throw his bicycle over his mommy's apartment complex fence.


    :lol:
     
  10. señor pedro

    señor pedro El Chocha Master Bee Ay Pii Gold

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  11. TheMercenary

    TheMercenary Collecting Light Gold

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  12. SomerSky

    SomerSky Obsessed with what I hate Banned User

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    It's great when I'm not involved! Good job!
    Where is @mr.dracula for translation???
     
  13. Slow

    Slow My name is my name DawgShed News

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    You lost one million reps

    True or false?
     
    ljc, wife is a whore and TheMercenary like this.
  14. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Good read.

    All that's missing is a crossword puzzle.
     
  15. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    I wasn't the top of the list, I didn't take the biggest hit and I never bragged about shit! Fix it!
     
  16. Rupert Pupkin

    Rupert Pupkin That Ass is Attached to Daniela Lopez Gold

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  17. Slow

    Slow My name is my name DawgShed News

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    I have pictures of the pm's you sent demanding the return of your million reps. I will post it if i have to.
     
  18. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    Post them now.
     
  19. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    You're Famous...:clap:
     
  20. Tipsey Russell

    Tipsey Russell VIP Extreme Gold

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    I have zero idea as to what's up here

    but I wish you all well in your travels through the internet