News DAWGSHED NEWS BULLETIN. The Pirate of Shedibbean: Curse of the Black Dildo

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Slow, Mar 13, 2016.

  1. Slow

    Slow All The Pieces Matter DawgShed News

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    Greetings Stern forum loyal readers. Welcome to another exciting edition of DAWGSHED NEWS. I am Slow yet charming, and these are your top stories.....




    CAPTAIN SCOTT BAIO'S PENIS WALKS THE PLANK


    It was a quiet night last week when @ScottBaiosPenis was relaxing at home playing some oregon trail and reminiscing about the good old days when his name sake was slaying every new pooder in tinsel town. After laughing at some fat pictures of Nicole Eggert he spent a few hours gaming before he decided to take a break after one of his favorite characters died of a nasty bout of typhoid fever. Scott decided to spice things up and download some illegal vietnamese ladyboy porn from his favorite bootlegging site....





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    Scott was so excited about his new found collection of the best tgirl facials of 2015 that he decided to share with the rest of the shed.

    Unfortunately at the time, scott was three sheets to the wind from cheap rum because he forgot all about the shed terms of service and policy against posting links to illegal file sharing.

    @dawg and @MONK had been trailing scott's every move and scott quickly found himself in hot water....






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    Luckily for Scott, he has one of the best screen names in the history of the shed and true to his name, he represents a legendary schlong and had a trick up his sleeve to escape a permanent ban









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    Scott was now free but he was still a wanted man at the shed. That's when he called in a favor from his old first mate @wife is a whore . WIAW generously offered up a treasure map as bounty for clearing Scott's name. The map leads to WIAW's stash of high school vhs porn that he has been keeping safe, buried deep in a secluded section of the jersey pine barrens.






    The shed rejoiced when Scott returned to the shed with a clear name and the mods will never forget the day that they almost had their hands on Scott Baio's penis
    .




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    PELICAN MAN DENOUNCES ANTI PEDOPHILE RHETORIC

    Meet @pelican man , a decent but less than stellar poster from the mid card. Not a main eventer by any standards but a solid hand with an occasional quip worthy of the second page of a good thread. He finds himself in a fair amount of scuffles on the board but he usually comes out okay due to his handful of sure fire, go to insults.


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    PM was getting into another beef with @Daveindiego when PelicanMan was looking to score a fatal blow. PM was making child molesting jokes and labelled Dave as a "chomo".

    This caused some trouble when he received a legal cease and desist notice from NAMBLA.

    Pelican man was able to avoid jail time and a lawsuit by settling for a 2 day temp ban from the shed and a kick in the nuts from a person of Dave's choosing
    .....





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    We reached out to Pelicanman for comment and he had the following to say....

    "I am happy to be back. I now understand how hurtful it is when I throw around insults and offend people that prefer the company of young boys. I want to take this time to endorse Ted Cruz for presidency. Chomos are people too
    "







    LARRY INC GETS NEW MUSCLE!

    Just when you thought Larry Inc could not get any bigger and more main stream media coverage.....


    They went ahead and scored the services of a WWE legend.....





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    Virgil, the long time face of professional wrestling has officially joined Larry Inc after @Biff Dibiase backed up a brinks truck full of fuck money to his doorstep










    This comes just a week after @LawyerLarry announced a new addition to the elite of the top 3 repped posters in shed history when @ljc became #3 on the reps list
    ....




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    We received word that mount repmore is currently under reconstruction to represent the top 4 posters on the shed. @Joe Bauers values his reps more than anyone and has been sending out pm's to everyone available, pleading with them to rep his posts so that he can make it for the final construction of the national monument.

    More on this story in our next edition. Will Joe Bauers make the cut? We hope so for his sake.





    COOK OFF TO MOCK WORLD HUNGER!

    @Anfkid wasn't kidding when he promised the stern forum something bigger than they have ever seen before. @AnimalGod made his debut thread and in between asphyxiating himself with chicken wings he has been repeatedly tapping the f5 button to max out his page views.

    Needless to say, he has made a big splash...





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    AG even brought along his main squeeze, @Nikkerz . If you don't know them from the bar, they are a modern day Zach Morris and Kelly Kapowski.

    The perfect couple.

    Unfortunately, due to a long history of the betes, AG has trouble getting his fab four to stand at attention so they have to entertain each other in different ways.

    AG being a fat fuck, naturally they decided on a cook off. To save you the trouble I have summarized both of their dishes below...






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    These two crazy kids eventually decided to call the cook off as a draw. To celebrate they started a go fund me page for penile injections for AG so that they could physically express their love.

    Please join me in congratulating them on their 10 year anniversary.

    Dawgshed news in association with gawker has obtained exclusive footage of their vacation suite to share
    .....





    too hot for press


    We look forward to more interesting stories from these two
    .











    That's it for this week. I will turn it over for this week's weather. For myself and @mr.dracula , stay classy.



    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2016
  2. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    I pwned that PelicanMan hard this week. It was epic and legendary.

    :davetoke:
     
  3. Stretch5000

    Stretch5000 Well-Known Member

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    So that's what it was, porn torrents?
     
  4. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie POTY The Bar VIP

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  5. Slow

    Slow All The Pieces Matter DawgShed News

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    I took some creative liberties. Might have been oregon trail download
     
  6. Stretch5000

    Stretch5000 Well-Known Member

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    No way :hilarious:
     
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  7. XuXu

    XuXu Well-Known Member

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    Is he back already?
     
  8. Khalil

    Khalil participant

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    Outstanding.
     
  9. freds

    freds you broke it VIP

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    it's enough for a lifetime. channel your efforts elsewhere.
     
  10. Mr Cachexic

    Mr Cachexic Well-Known Member Banned User

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    that picture of animalgod and nikkerz having sex is way too much for me to handle right now
     
  11. kingofallmessicans

    kingofallmessicans Sandy Cunt

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    I guess my "meltdown":quote: wasn't news worthy ;)
     
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  12. JFK

    JFK Ask not what your country can do for you. Gold

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    I will never click one of your spoilers again
     
  13. XuXu

    XuXu Well-Known Member

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  14. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    I love that game.
     
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  15. Slow

    Slow All The Pieces Matter DawgShed News

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    I would do a story on you but nobody here knows who you are
     
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  16. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    :owned:
     
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  17. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    Oh yeah, he made a thread about it too.

    Much butthurts were had at the pwnage. :smile:
     
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  18. Micheal Kenyon

    Micheal Kenyon Here

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    Ya, that was a head knocker. Jesus.
     
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  19. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    Actually, he's one of the legends, bro.
     
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  20. GLguygardner

    GLguygardner WE DA BEST!! VIP Gold

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    Ooooooo...
     
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