defending the undefendable, howard's second marriage

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by mike25, Jul 9, 2012.

  1. mike25

    mike25 Active Member VIP

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    i think most of us agree that howard's fail marriage will be one of the biggest regrets in his life, and that he will never get someone like Alison stern ever again. for the sake of argument, let us assume that howard met beth after the divorce... i know it is hard for some of you, but just hypothetically speaking.

    Howard was already famous, rich but also has very little "game" when it came to the ladies as well as a face only a mother could love. (actually, i thought he looked good in the 80's but anyways)
    he knew he could get a model type with what he had to offer, but also knew she would probably be a materialistic status seeking socialite.
    he doesn't want to live and die alone, so he has to deal with what he can get.

    if you accept the above premise, here are 3 things he did which was pretty calculated but smart on his part.

    1) dated her for 8 years. she had to pass a number of trials and tests. many of you think beth controls howard but at least when they were dating, it was apparent to me that he controlled her. she was petrifed of saying the wrong thing during sal's interview of her, and she was petrified during the male massage incident. howard would push her buttons and see how much she could take, how much she would plead for forgiveness.

    2) timing, howard didn't marry her when she was in her 20's or early 30's. he made sure to run out her biological clock. the amount of time beth had to sacrifice with howard meant she had to make a choice between marrying a rich old guy or having babies with some young stud.

    3) he made her sign a prenup.

    now you might say, why marry, why not just string her along. woman are like cars, not houses, bla bla bla. well, again, howard wasn't the playboy type, and he was annoyed that people didn't take their "love" seriously. the doorman would give him that smirk which howard interpreted as rich old guy with a stripper/escort. marriage raised beth status to ..... the doorman at least.

    howard is a cynical and careful guy. he is probably hoping that she will stay with him for the consistent $10000 a month allowance for shoes, the status associated with being queen of the Hamptons, and the social circles that they cultivated as a couple. yes, private parts is a sham, howard got shallow and threw away a real woman, most of the board agrees, but what i'm thinking....marrying beth was making the best of a bad situation.

    don't hurt me :usofa:
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2012
  2. slacker

    slacker New Member

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    With the goofy shit those two do together i am startn to think they are made for each other... Fucked up shit for sure, but seems more that way every day.... They are the only two people crazy enough to love the other one....
     
  3. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    No. They're just stupid cunts.
     
  4. chuk

    chuk Well-Known Member

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    "the doorman would give him that smirk which howard interpreted as rich old guy with a stripper/escort. marriage raised beth status to ..... the doorman at least."

    Howard didn't marry Beth so that SHE would feel better about the doorman, he did it so that HE would feel better about it. It was obvious that she was a bimbo with him only for his money. By marrying her, he could "show" the doorman that they were really in love. It was his insecurities he was addressing, not hers.
     
  5. exarro

    exarro New Member

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  6. mike25

    mike25 Active Member VIP

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    :giggle:
     
  7. mike25

    mike25 Active Member VIP

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    ya, you're right. was just paraphrasing what i remember him saying.
     
  8. chuk

    chuk Well-Known Member

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    Well, Howard says the opposite. He says that he did it for Beth so that she wouldn't feel "inferior". But the reality is, Howard was just trying to convince himself.
     
  9. mike25

    mike25 Active Member VIP

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    yep.also, i notice when he psychoanalysis people, he usually reveals more about himself then he does about the person. usually he just thinks what he would think if he was that person. he doesn't take into account that some people have different values.
     
  10. whatsit

    whatsit Dawg Lover VIP

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    He is "happier" with someone less challenging.
     
  11. AGT Blows

    AGT Blows Well-Known Member

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    What the wookie said^.
     
  12. GQtaste

    GQtaste Well-Known Member

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    I don't think he regrets anything. He's the biggest "trick" on the planet and of all time! He loves that dummy with all his cold-blooded heart. I really do think he's a scumbag but unintelligent he is not. He doesn't give a fuck about not being able to bond with her on normal marriage shit.

    What gives her satisfaction is taking photos of herself in so called sexy poses. Unfortunately for her, she has no sex appeal. And she has a bunch of tools to be attractive, height, slender body, etc. But the smile and eyes make her look silly when she attempts to come off sexy. She looks her best when she gives no such look or pose.
     
  13. Herc

    Herc New Member

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    - His first wife was more than a match for him. His second wife is part retarded.

    - His first wife is a full bloodied Jew broad. Howard can teach is second wife the parts of Judaism he likes only.

    - Howard escapes his kids living at home with him by leaving his first wife. His second wife is just about a barren wasteland now (Hence no kids in the house anymore).

    - His first wife didn't fit with his Hollywood Howie campaign. His second wife is part retarded and blonde. And just good looking enough in his eyes to let him in the doors of where he wants to go now in the world. He thought he upgraded in the looks department with a former Ames model.

    - He cut his loses before he made his biggest cash grabs in life. If he stayed with Allison he would have to share his Satellite money with her. Now with Beth he doesn't (PRENUP). She's happy with bags and shiny rocks.

    P.S. He's one calculating motherfucker. He planned this (His divorce). And he planned it well.

    P.S.S. He dumped Alison, the show, and his loyal fans in the divorce. For what he has now. And what were left with.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2012
  14. flailingfish

    flailingfish New Member

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  15. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    Would have been a lot cheaper to rent in his case. :facepalm: I can't wait to see how this ends. :nutz:
     
  16. Thelma

    Thelma Well-Known Member

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    :thumbup2: Great summary. The only thing I would add is that besides the "bags and shiny rocks," Beth is relentless in inflicting herself upon us on TV and getting into any crap magazine she can - she is insane for fame.
     
  17. BrerJimmy

    BrerJimmy Well-Known Member

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    Beth didn't ruin Howard. She gets a bad rap because she's vapid and publicly enjoying her upgraded status. But she's certainly no puppetmaster.

    Therapy ruined Howard.
     
  18. TaTa Toothy

    TaTa Toothy New Member

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    I have to be honest in saying I didn't think they'd stay together this long. I do belive they both got what they wanted out of this union. Beth got, money, fame and security. Howie got a Stepford Wife. Someone who's only purpose in life is to stay fit, beautiful and look good on his arm. Beth is incapable of independent thought and won't argue or nag him about stuff. On some level they really do love each other. Will it last? Naaaah. Eventually the wall is going to smack Beth right in the face. Suddenly, Howie's Barbie doll won't look so shiny and new to him anymore. Age is going to be a factor on how Beth eventually see's Wiggy. The Hampton's life style, the parties, the red carpet premiers are going to be less fun to go to as Howard enters his 60's. Beth will wake up to find herself married to Ben Stern (Howie's almost there now). It will be at that point when she'll take the money and run.