Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MrWarmth, Jul 6, 2012.
You all know the bit. You've seen it a hundred times.
He's kind of.....KIND of......losing his hair.
It's her, not me.
"How can she be smarter than YOU?!"
N: Hi George
G: Hey Newman
N: You seen Jerry's new girlfriend Beth?
G: Yeah, she's a goldigger with man-hands. Oh hi Cramer.
C: Jerry met her at a Hampton's polo match. Elaine's new boyfriend was riding her. She has huge chompers and is an over-talker. Hi Elaine.
E: Yeah, my boyfriend brought her to the vet to see if he could get her bent knees straightened out. They can't get her into her stall at the stable unless they replace the hay with a red carpet - fucking weird.
N: Do you think Jerry and his new girlfriend would be open to a 3 way?
G: I already banged her by telling her I was a tv producer and giving her a few sugar cubes, so I don't see why not. She likes it when you use your spurs and whip.
C: I'm going commando, there's nothing between us but gabardine. Hi Jerry! Does Beth swallow?
J: Not at first, I had to put cinnamon on my cock -- everything tastes better with cinnamon.
E: So Jerry, I see you still like to rob the cradle, she's more of a cunt than Shoshanna.
J: I know she's said I'm not sponge-worthy. What is it about me and stupid vapid airhead bitches? I can't get enough!
N: Jerry you're in for a treat when you get back to your apartment, I just delivered the new Ames catalog, and Beth is modeling panties on page 3 and 7, so we can all make sticky.
G: Jerry, when we were at your Hampton mansion Beth saw me naked when I was in my room after I came out of the pool.
J: Really George, what happened? Did she say anything?
G: Well, Jerr, it was really cold, you know? And there was shrinkage. She laughed and said, amazing!!!!!
E: I've seen your tiny cock George and I wouldn't say amazing.
C: I've seen it too - feh. Reggie! Why did I say Reggie?
N: Me too, you could mail that little thing with a 3 cent stamp.
G: You didn't let me finish, she said, "Amazing, you're the same size as Howard Stern!!!"
E: Jerry have you met her parents?
J: Tonight, I'm bringing a babka pumpernickel swirl bread and some black and white cookies. Everyone loves a babka.
G: Jerr, you can use my car, it was once owned by Jon Voight. I hear Beth's brothers are fucking crazy and that they were allegedly Sandusky's first victims.
J: Yeah, and her Dad's crooked too!
E: What the fuck is up with Beth and those big ass handbags? She could carry George in one of those.
J: She told me she needs big bags for when she gets all my money.
GEORGE: "She doesn't want to be famous at all, Jerry. She loves me for who I AM!"
JERRY: "And who are you?"
GEORGE: "I'm, uh...I'm artvandelaytherichfamousarchitect."
JERRY: "What was that again? I didn't quite get that."
GEAORGE: "I'm Art Vandelay the rich famous architect!"
JERRY: "Ahhhhhh, and the lovely and amaaaaazin Beth loves YOU for WHO you ARE."
BANIA: "She's a golddigger, Jerry! GOLDDIGGER!!"
GEORGE: "She is not! She wouldn't care is I was penniless!"
JERRY: "You ARE penniless."
GEORGE: [sputtering] "She, she doesn't even want to be famous like me!"
JERRY: "But you're NOT famous."
GEORGE: "Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it."
ELAINE: "George, didn't you tell her that you would help her get a book deal and TV gig's like hosting Momcaves?"
GEORGE: "[pause] Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started dating her that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've a lot of catalog models, and I tell you, people do that all the time."
JERRY: "Let me ask you this? How's the sex?"
GEOEGE: "It's, it's, um great. Except for..."
JERRY: "Except for what?"
GEORGE: "Well, you know...she doesn't like to go, um...you know."
THE SOUP NAZI: "No blow job for YOU!!!"
JERRY: So, where was the amazing Beth last night?"
GEORGE: "I dunno. Some stupid red carpet event with her young guy friends."
JERRY: "And what did you do?"
GEORGE: "I stayed home and watched a Dancing With the Stars marathon...I'm not gay, Jerry. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
JERRY: "But you did go with Beth to the Hamptons this weekend. What happened with that?"
GEORGE: "Shrinkage, Jerry. Shrinkage."
GEORGE: "The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to cancel his Sirus sunscription over the phone."
"BANIA: "She's a golddigger, Jerry! GOLDDIGGER!!"
Haha, made me laugh out loud!
does she have a rosey hue?
Beth: " He won a contest? YAAAAYYYY!!!! "
agreed! soooooooooooooooo funny.
Beth: "He tried to sue his boss?!"
A PINKISH HUE......
A rosy glow..............
fuck sorry.. way to go and fuck the whole thread
The effort is appreciated. Don't sweat it.
George: "How's her personality?"
End of thread.
For some reason, the episode where Elaine was dispatched on a surveillance mission at the gym to determine if Jerry's new GF's boobs were real jumped immediately to mind.
Nacho to Howard: "Was That wrong"
ELAINE: she's a knee bender
"Who put a cookie in Howard's mouth?!"
"She has Man Hands"