WTF Desperate or serial killer?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by lastlaugh, Jun 29, 2016.

  1. lastlaugh

    lastlaugh Well-Known Member

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    http://buzz.blog.ajc.com/2016/06/29...end-in-exchange-for-free-rent-wi-fi-and-food/


    Cobb County man seeks wife/girlfriend in exchange for free rent, wi-fi and food
    June 29, 2016 | Filed in: Cobb County, Local News, Neighborhoods.

    COMMENTS 46

    A Cobb County man looking for love has posted a Craigslist ad offering free rent, wi-fi, cable and other amenities to the lady of his dreams.

    “You’ll have the whole front bathroom to yourself,” he says. “You’ll not have to pay for rent, wifi, power, cable TV [I have all 8 HBO channels] garbage service or food!”

    [​IMG]
    Here’s the lead image with a Craigslist ad from a Cobb County man offering free rent and wifi to the lady of his dreams.

    The 53-year-old single white man describes himself as “caring, compassionate, considerate, dependable, detailed [in case you can not tell yet!] gentle, intelligent, loyal, outspoken, reasonable, touchy-feely, trustworthy and witty.”

    He’s retired and sells concert tickets and owns his home free and clear. He offers a range of enticements to his potential match:

    “If you do not have a vehicle we can find you a good used one. If your credit is bad I can teach you how to rebuild it. If you have no credit score we can build it pretty quick… I have a pair of 2016 Atlanta Falcons season tickets. I also have 2017 season tix for both the Falcons AND Braves at their new stadiums! Did I mention I have all 8 HBO channels yet?!”

    He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t mind ladies who do, in moderation.

    “You must not be an alcoholic, not into illegal drugs, not smoke, not have unresolved felonies and not have a warrant out for your arrest,” he says. “Other than that we can talk about past issues BUT, you must be honest from day one.”

    His thoroughly detailed post says he’s a Christian but doesn’t regularly attend services, enjoys photography and playing pool, is “pro-gun” but doesn’t hunt and isn’t an NRA member. “My record is clean except for traffic tickets and a V.K.O. [Violation of Knife Ordinance] citation in the 80s,” he writes.

    To be clear, he’s looking for a commitment: “You will live in my nice 1967 brick ranch home with me as my girlfriend and possibly be my wife later if you want.”
     
    stash likes this.
  2. Divorce Chicken

    Divorce Chicken white punk on dope VIP

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  3. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Stripped of POTY for butthurting staff VIP

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    If he knew the right people, he could get $20k to take a wife.
     
    DuckDong and Biff DiBiase like this.
  4. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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    Wtf that's my house
     
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  5. BrulesRules

    BrulesRules Just grab 'em in the biscuits VIP

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    all 8 HBO channels?!?! Ladies you better jump on this opportunity.
     
    Mike Huntslooce likes this.
  6. lastlaugh

    lastlaugh Well-Known Member

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    Will you be suing and does Mrs. Shivvy know about this?
     
  7. Wiggy

    Wiggy Well-Known Member

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    Cheri likes this.
  8. Metalheavy19

    Metalheavy19 Well-Known Member

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    I an early 30's bachelor that's been offered $10,000+ to marry a Brazilian for them to get a green card. I had to pass because I like my stuff and Brazilian women are nuts. This guy just needs to check around.
     
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  9. GloriaGrace

    GloriaGrace Well-Known Member

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    "Touchy feely" = smothery pawing. No thanks.
     
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  10. lastlaugh

    lastlaugh Well-Known Member

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    Some guys will get a foreigner when they can't get an attractive white girl.

    I had a landlord one time who was Brazilian. Total nut and quick-tempered in the end.
     
  11. hypo666

    hypo666 Well-Known Member

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    He's better off getting a mail order bride ,if he is that hard up.
     
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  12. Ben Dover

    Ben Dover Well-Known Member

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    The guy must look like Rocky Dennis or the elephant man if he has to resort to free everything to get a woman
     
  13. stash

    stash 2017 Kimbra of All Media VIP

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    id rather die alone that do that or get some stinky foreign bride.

    but ask me in 20 years when im this poor bastard's age :shakey:

    maybe his problem is 'no illegal drugs'. Weed can really keep the pain at bay :grad:
     
  14. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Free rent and free food. I'll put on a wig and be living large!
     
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  15. max rockatansky

    max rockatansky I'm just here for the gasoline Gold

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    @Daveindiego Free WiFi! No more getting kicked out of the library at night.
     
  16. DogStar69

    DogStar69 Well-Known Member

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    Serial killers don't post ads online.
     
  17. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    I bet this is GaryPuppet
     
  18. RaeRae

    RaeRae VIP Extreme Gold

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    If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. He probably looks like Bigfoot.