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do you have any job interview tips?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Napoleon V, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. Napoleon V

    Napoleon V New Member Shot Dead

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    I expect a 50/50 distribution of funny/serious responses.
     
  2. Sponsor

    Sponsor

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  3. Markijuano

    Markijuano Active Member

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    Bring a pistol
     
  4. Ridic Too2

    Ridic Too2 New Member Shot Dead

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    You interview them. They don't interview you.
     
  5. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold VIP

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    Eat a big can of beans the night before.
     
  6. Apple the cat

    Apple the cat Schmoopy's alter ego Gold

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    Dress professionally for the job, be polite, research the company and the position you're applying for, and don't say fuck.
     
  7. Splash

    Splash Huge Member Gold

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    0 funny/ 1 serious
     
  8. Markijuano

    Markijuano Active Member

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    What's your most offensive t shirt? Wear it
     
  9. Splash

    Splash Huge Member Gold

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    Hey apple the cat? You a chick or gay dude?
     
  10. Apple the cat

    Apple the cat Schmoopy's alter ego Gold

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    Neither one, Splash. Just gettin philosophical in my old age...
     
  11. Splash

    Splash Huge Member Gold

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    I see :bigthink
     
  12. Ridic Too2

    Ridic Too2 New Member Shot Dead

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    Let's see your pussy, whore.
     
  13. Charon

    Charon Soulless VIP

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    Send Thank You cards/emails to the people who interviewed you.
     
  14. UncaDollas

    UncaDollas Well-Known Member

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    The shit they sell online to beat a piss test doesn't work. Have some one whose has clean piss and use that. Keep it under your balls, so its body temperature. Use a little plastic bottle. Dont refrigerate, the fresher the better, attach at least an hour before you go in, don't throw out the container in the bathroom.

    -You can use the piss of the opposite sex. It's against the law to test for sex.
    -Unless it's prison or being a solider they cant watch you.
    -They will test for tampering (golden seal and the others will show up, putting bleach on your fingers will show up, etc.)
    The water will be off in the bathroom and the toilet will have blue stuff in it so you cant use that.


    Another way to pass is overdosing on water.You'll be pissing every 5 seconds for 24 hrs, you'll get diaharrea and you may get water intoxication, but it does work. The water is going thru you so fast that it doesnt pick anything up.

    Good luck-Hope you get the job and celebrate with a fatty!:bong:
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2013
  15. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Gold VIP

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    Wear something that shows off your cleavage.
     
  16. Apple the cat

    Apple the cat Schmoopy's alter ego Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
  17. Splash

    Splash Huge Member Gold

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    Would you rather bang Buck Angel:

    [​IMG]


    Or Bailey Jay:

    [​IMG]
     
  18. Apple the cat

    Apple the cat Schmoopy's alter ego Gold

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    Ack!!! Neither one, please (especially considering they both have or had dicks)!
     
  19. UncaDollas

    UncaDollas Well-Known Member

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    Would I rather have AIDS or Hep C ?
     
  20. Splash

    Splash Huge Member Gold

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    This question has been on my mind a lot lately. Buck Angel has never had a dick and still doesnt. Bailey Jay has never had a vag and still doesnt. Its blowin my minfpd up.
     
  21. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    This is true... though the "so what questions do you have for me" segment can be awkward with the "so how would you describe your management style" bullshit.

    I figure now its best to just go in and lay your balls on the table and wait for the tongue to come out.
     

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