I often times think about this guy who asked me out when I was 18. He was a nice guy. Very sweet. I was unsure of myself and my sexuality and didn't know how to just say no. I led the guy on for weeks, until the night of our first date when he showed up at work to get me and I couldn't go through with it. I remember he walked in wearing a new shirt and pants with a big smile on his face, and I sent him away with his head hanging. Over 20 years later and I still get douche chills over what a shit head I was.