Does anyone have any good tips on how to go to work drunk and not get reprimanded?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Jack-A-Roe, Mar 14, 2012.

  1. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    I pretty much have it down to a science but Im always lookikng for outsider information so I can improve my game.

    a few simple steps

    - eat right before you show up or eat something in the parking lot
    - always look down as you enter the building
    - dress light, you dont want to be sweating and all that bullshit
    - walk in the room like you own it and nobody will comment on the fact you stink will booze
    - *correction, evenb if they do comment they will take you aside and ask you if you been drinking, thats the time to get defensive
     
  2. gilaet

    gilaet Zen As Fuck Gold

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    Work as a standup comic.
     
  3. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    tell us about a time when you went to work drunk, how did you handle it?
     
  4. Billy Brown

    Billy Brown Thinking big VIP

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  5. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    you cant get too loose, you must be very precise or as precise as you are able with your movements.
     
  6. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    Pass out at your desk until everyone leaves for the day
     
  7. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    i dont work in a place where Im assigned a desk but thank you for your contribution.
     
  8. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    I've never gone to work drunk.
     
  9. GHP

    GHP New Member Banned User

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    Drink so much that you vomit. Tell everyone you have the flu. Go home drink some more
     
  10. HaroldJackson

    HaroldJackson Well-Known Member

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    Work for youself.
    I don't advise going in on coca though. have to keep re-upping, it makes for a long 8 hours to.
     
  11. banksy

    banksy Hey. You ugly. You yo daddy's son. VIP

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    Only drink vodka. Everything else has an odor and will give you away. :burp:
     
  12. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    this, xept work as Artie Lange c. 2008-2009
     
  13. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    this practice works! but you must disguise your vomiting so it seems authentic. always carry a bottle of ipecac handy
     
  14. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    dextro amphetamine is the preferred treatment
     
  15. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    i feel sorry for you, alcohol makes you a better worker
     
  16. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Get a job as the town drunk. You have to be drunk or you will be fired.
     
  17. CMG

    CMG New Member Banned User

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    play dead
     
  18. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    great idea, i never looked into that
     
  19. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Spoon! Gold

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    Own your own biz. Otherwise you are screwed.
     
  20. FtM

    FtM Starless & Bible Black Gold

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    I've never showed up to any job drunk/stoned. I have been given alcohol/drugs/weed by my employers in the past while I was on the clock though.