Does anyone have any good tips on how to go to work drunk and not get reprimanded?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Jack-A-Roe, Mar 14, 2012.

  1. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    I pretty much have it down to a science but Im always lookikng for outsider information so I can improve my game.

    a few simple steps

    - eat right before you show up or eat something in the parking lot
    - always look down as you enter the building
    - dress light, you dont want to be sweating and all that bullshit
    - walk in the room like you own it and nobody will comment on the fact you stink will booze
    - *correction, evenb if they do comment they will take you aside and ask you if you been drinking, thats the time to get defensive
     
  2. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

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    Work as a standup comic.
     
  3. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    tell us about a time when you went to work drunk, how did you handle it?
     
  4. Billy Brown

    Billy Brown Thinking big VIP

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  5. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    you cant get too loose, you must be very precise or as precise as you are able with your movements.
     
  6. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    Pass out at your desk until everyone leaves for the day
     
  7. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    i dont work in a place where Im assigned a desk but thank you for your contribution.
     
  8. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    I've never gone to work drunk.
     
  9. GHP

    GHP New Member Banned User

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    Drink so much that you vomit. Tell everyone you have the flu. Go home drink some more
     
  10. HaroldJackson

    HaroldJackson Well-Known Member

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    Work for youself.
    I don't advise going in on coca though. have to keep re-upping, it makes for a long 8 hours to.
     
  11. banksy

    banksy You wrote "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror VIP

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    Only drink vodka. Everything else has an odor and will give you away. :burp:
     
  12. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    this, xept work as Artie Lange c. 2008-2009
     
  13. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    this practice works! but you must disguise your vomiting so it seems authentic. always carry a bottle of ipecac handy
     
  14. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    dextro amphetamine is the preferred treatment
     
  15. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    i feel sorry for you, alcohol makes you a better worker
     
  16. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Get a job as the town drunk. You have to be drunk or you will be fired.
     
  17. CMG

    CMG New Member Banned User

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    play dead
     
  18. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    great idea, i never looked into that
     
  19. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    Own your own biz. Otherwise you are screwed.
     
  20. FtM

    FtM Starless & Bible Black Gold

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    I've never showed up to any job drunk/stoned. I have been given alcohol/drugs/weed by my employers in the past while I was on the clock though.