Emergency Room Doctors Remove Large Dildo From Patients Anus

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by BleedingGums, Oct 20, 2010.

  1. BleedingGums

    BleedingGums Fesh Fox Faggot VIP

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    Last edited: Oct 20, 2010
  2. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    :eek::eek::eek:

    YIKES!!!!!

    This is still my favorite Things Up the Anus story:

    http://blogs.flaphead.dns2go.com/archive/2005/09/22/3114.aspx

    (1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

    "I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."

    At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next.

    "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball."

    Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

    Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.
     
  3. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    thats gotta be fake
     
  4. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    probably is, but it's still one of the funniest things I have ever read.
     
  5. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict VIP

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    Just click the LiveLeak button. Then cut and paste everything after the "=" in between the brackets. Like so.
    [LIVELEAK]9c8_1287547879[/LIVELEAK]
     
  6. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    what an amateur, the dildo isnt that big.
     
  7. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict VIP

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    It's a boy!
     
  8. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    those ER docs tell the best stories. Must be so much fun when people aren't actually dying and stuff
     
  9. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict VIP

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    My cousin married a proctologist, but he isn't the type to make light of his work. He thinks he is saving the world, one rectum at a time. He even took my cousin aside at the Xmas party I first met him at and told her to tell me I shouldn't ever refer to him as "Assman" in the future. Guy has zero sense of humor.
     
  10. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    :rofl:

    i would think to be a proctologist you would have to have one hell of a sense of humor!

    lord knows just to be a dentist and stay sane you have to. proctology has to be the worst
     
  11. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    I'd be more concerned with my sense of smell than my sense of humor.
     
  12. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    ugh yeah, you'd want to cut that off entirely

    that's all i ket thinking watching that video. how bad must it have smelled in that OR?
     
  13. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    Proctology, the only profession in the world where you start at the bottom and stay there.
     
  14. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

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    assman :jj:
     
  15. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

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    u never add the :rs:
     
  16. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    Just one in a long list of personal failures. I shall try to do better.
     
  17. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

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    you see, when you don't add it, I have to do it in my head, which is not as pleasing :D
     
  18. mingmen

    mingmen New Member

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    feel better, GSD :hw: