Enjoy a small portion of a letter my dad wrote me in 1996, won't you?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by A Succulent Chinese Meal, Jan 6, 2015.

  1. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    "Apartment living really lip intakes, if you know what I mean. There are more a-holes than people -- inconsistent, but true. Most of them live in the cramped quarters next to your life space, and they cook crap, talk crap, music crap, animal crap, and generally live crap - no money, no ambition, no literacy, no nothing, no books, no reading, no common sense, no running car, no decent perfume, just fume, no respect for anything...

    If you need a wheel of a 86 Pontiac, there is one in the garage by a sea of leaking oil, transmission fluid, Agent Orange, or whatever the hell it is, at the apartment study for Hell on West Mall Drive, home of [Dad's last name] during his first regression years. 3rd floor by the vomit, next to some vixen who has scored everybody's little brother about nine times this month. Did I say 'Eden?'"

    I think he had a good style. He got me into Jack Handey, Ted L. Nancy, and most importantly, John Kennedy Toole.

    I hope you enjoyed it.

    Thank you.
     
  2. EasyJesus

    EasyJesus Pappy Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  3. The Dharma Bum

    The Dharma Bum Member

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    A true sardonic wit. Would read more. :grad:
     
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  4. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    Your father was Hunter Thompson?
     
  5. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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  6. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    He was hilarious, I thank you for your kind words.
     
  7. Dirty South

    Dirty South Large Member

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    Traw's dad once drank Jack London and Ernest Hemingway under the table. :grad:
     
  8. EasyJesus

    EasyJesus Pappy Gold

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  9. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    I've loved the Ted L. Nancy books since the first one came out almost 20 years ago.

    [​IMG]
     
    EasyJesus and Lou Loomis like this.
  10. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    He had a disdain for drinkers, and fidelity, loolz
     
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  11. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    Those were the funniest letters. People never had a clue what to do with his problems.
     
  12. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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  13. Thelonious Davis

    Thelonious Davis Magical negro.

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  14. nfbuckeye

    nfbuckeye Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. VIP

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    He's obviously unaware of the king's life AnimalGod and his pet Gimp are living in Suite 1.
     
  15. Shedding Skin

    Shedding Skin Damp Banned User

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    Cool dad!
     
  16. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

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    "really lip intakes"

    is that a typo? if not...what does it mean? first line
     
  17. Napoleon V

    Napoleon V Swagggggg. ! !!!!!!!! !!!!! Banned User

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    I hate when I walk into an apartment hallway and smell stale cigarette smoke and bad cooking.
     
  18. Johnnykstaint

    Johnnykstaint VIP Extreme Gold

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    At first I was turned off by the apparent anti-apartment elitism, or that he comes from some shithole were "apartment" automatically means "impoverished"...but I want to read more, I admit it.
     
  19. Shedding Skin

    Shedding Skin Damp Banned User

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    I love it cuz it's usually coming from me.
     
  20. The Dharma Bum

    The Dharma Bum Member

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    ..."really sucks"