Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen)

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by RenchFries, Apr 16, 2015.

  1. RenchFries

    RenchFries Official Dawgshed Dutch representative Gold

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    Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99
    Wear sunscreen

    If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
    The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
    Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
    Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
    You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
    Until they've faded but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back
    At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now
    How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked
    You are not as fat as you imagine

    Don't worry about the future
    Or know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum
    The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
    The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday
    Do one thing every day that scares you

    Don't be reckless with other people's hearts
    Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours

    Floss

    Don't waste your time on jealousy
    Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
    The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself
    Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults, if you succeed in doing this, tell me how
    Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements

    Stretch

    Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
    The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
    Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't
    Get plenty of calcium
    Be kind to your knees
    You'll miss them when they're gone

    Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
    Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't
    Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken'
    On your 75th wedding anniversary
    Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
    Or berate yourself either
    Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's

    Enjoy your body, use it every way you can
    Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it
    It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own
    Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room
    Read the directions even if you don't follow them
    Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly

    Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good
    Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past
    And the people most likely to stick with you in the future

    Understand that friends come and go
    But a precious few, who should hold on

    Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
    For as the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young
    Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard
    Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft

    Travel

    Accept certain inalienable truths
    Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you, too, will get old
    And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young
    Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble
    And children respected their elders

    Respect your elders

    Don't expect anyone else to support you
    Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse
    But you never know when either one might run out

    Don't mess too much with your hair
    Or by the time you're 40 it will look 85

    Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it
    Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
    From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
    And recycling it for more than it's worth

    But trust me on the sunscreen
     
  2. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
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  3. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    GTFO
     
  4. RenchFries

    RenchFries Official Dawgshed Dutch representative Gold

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    :nocheer:
     
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  5. P-B

    P-B Honourary Canuck Gold

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  6. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    Wtf is wrong with you?
     
  7. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    I wish I would've wore sunscreen. 2 skin cancer surgeries later....