Everything is bigger in Texas even Porch Pirates

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by dawg, Dec 18, 2015.

  1. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    This porch Pirate shit is getting out of hand.

    Fort Worth, TX - An unknown female driving a white SUV is seen on home security camera on 12/8/2015 appearing to knock on the door of the homeowner, then taking a package from the porch.

    If anyone has any information about this person or crime, please contact the Ft. Worth Police Dept at (817) 469-8477.


     
  2. Napoleon V

    Napoleon V Swagggggg. ! !!!!!!!! !!!!! Banned User

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    What would be your sentence if you were Judge Dawg?
     
  3. Artie Laugh

    Artie Laugh ****

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    Did she ring the doorbell? WTF!!
     
  4. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    In Texas you can shoot them dead if its after dark. Even on the porch.
     
  5. Bro

    Bro Oligarchical Corporatocracy VIP Gold

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    Why if it's after dark?
     
  6. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    They just caught a couple in San Diego doing it. They had a 'to do' list they found in the car that read "Steal Mail, Shoplift".
     
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  7. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    I would plant a fucking pipe bomb in my front yard. I fucking hate people.
     
  8. DiamondGoddess

    DiamondGoddess Born Ready for My Close-Up! Gold

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    How often would you get any really good shit doing this?!!!

    Seriously.

    They are stealing boring shit like baby clothes that aren't worth reselling most of the time, I bet.

    I have a paid mailbox address.

    You also can pay them a small fee to accept yer packages even if you don't have a mailbox with them.
     
  9. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    I agree with this guy.
     
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  10. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    § 9.41. PROTECTION OF ONE'S OWN PROPERTY. (a) A person in
    lawful possession of land or tangible, movable property is
    justified in using force against another when and to the degree the
    actor reasonably believes the force is immediately necessary to
    prevent or terminate the other's trespass on the land or unlawful
    interference with the property.
    (b) A person unlawfully dispossessed of land or tangible,
    movable property by another is justified in using force against the
    other when and to the degree the actor reasonably believes the force
    is immediately necessary to reenter the land or recover the
    property if the actor uses the force immediately or in fresh pursuit
    after the dispossession and:
    (1) the actor reasonably believes the other had no
    claim of right when he dispossessed the actor; or
    (2) the other accomplished the dispossession by using
    force, threat, or fraud against the actor.

    Acts 1973, 63rd Leg., p. 883, ch. 399, § 1, eff. Jan. 1, 1974.
    Amended by Acts 1993, 73rd Leg., ch. 900, § 1.01, eff. Sept. 1,
    1994.

    § 9.42. DEADLY FORCE TO PROTECT PROPERTY. A person is
    justified in using deadly force against another to protect land or
    tangible, movable property:
    (1) if he would be justified in using force against the
    other under Section 9.41; and
    (2) when and to the degree he reasonably believes the
    deadly force is immediately necessary:
    (A) to prevent the other's imminent commission of
    arson, burglary, robbery, aggravated robbery, theft during the
    nighttime, or criminal mischief during the nighttime; or
    (B) to prevent the other who is fleeing
    immediately after committing burglary, robbery, aggravated
    robbery, or theft during the nighttime from escaping with the
    property; and
    (3) he reasonably believes that:
    (A) the land or property cannot be protected or
    recovered by any other means; or
    (B) the use of force other than deadly force to
    protect or recover the land or property would expose the actor or
    another to a substantial risk of death or serious bodily injury.

    Acts 1973, 63rd Leg., p. 883, ch. 399, § 1, eff. Jan. 1, 1974.
    Amended by Acts 1993, 73rd Leg., ch. 900, § 1.01, eff. Sept. 1,
    1994.
     
  11. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    I'm sensing a very encouraging trend. :dancin2:
     
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  12. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    I'm very close to moving to Texas. :jj:
     
  13. Bro

    Bro Oligarchical Corporatocracy VIP Gold

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    I'm just curious as the reasoning between night time offenses and daytime ones.
     
  14. Estocada

    Estocada Well-Known Member

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    Why would you draw attention to yourself by knocking on the door or whatever. Aren't you there to steal shit?
     
  15. Donkeyboy2190

    Donkeyboy2190 Never earned a dimes

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    Egg with legs
     
  16. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    i respect that.
     
  17. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Trump's African American Gold

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    I should introduce you to my homeboy Mohammed.
     
  18. VarmintSam

    VarmintSam Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    What an original thread :shit: I did this thread yesterday.
     
  19. redshirt

    redshirt Well-Known Member VIP

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    I'd have one of those cellphone activated bomb deals as the package they grab. Wait til they get in their car, let them drive away thinking they got away with it and kablammo.
     
  20. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    make sure no one is home. if they are, oops wrong house! if they arent, they make off with the booty.