Entertainment Fantastic Four

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by WillyBest, Aug 9, 2015.

  1. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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    Best movie ever! Discuss.
     
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  2. Gretsch Man

    Gretsch Man Well-Known Member

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    I'm surprised it was THAT bad. But on a positive note, there's a chance Marvel may get its property back.
     
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  3. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh I got a head that's large Gold

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  4. Snotty

    Snotty My Snothand be strong!!! VIP Gold

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    Something wrong with Johnny Blaze.....In this one he looks......Well.........A little "Well Done"............
     
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  5. Kool

    Kool Well-Known Member

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    I'm assuming in the movie, the answer is he was adopted?
     
  6. Sickboy

    Sickboy Latverian Monarch

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  7. Sickboy

    Sickboy Latverian Monarch

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    Marvel was stupid to allow a clause in the contract that essentially allow FOX to hold on to Marvels property indefinitely.
     
  8. Sickboy

    Sickboy Latverian Monarch

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    http://geektyrant.com/news/the-fantastic-four-franchise-is-cursed-by-the-gods

    MovieRantFantastic FourA Day Agoby Willard Brannen

    comic book movies than the previous skid-marked shorts covered in the vomit of 1000 executives that was the original pairing of Fantastic Four movies.

    I could not have been more wrong. In a sentence that I want you to remember as you read the rest of this review I'll state my simple opinion: Fantastic Fouris the worst movie ever made. End of story. Worst. Movie. Ever.

    This movie started out with the promise of a friendship between Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell) and Reed Richards (Miles Teller) that starts with them in 5th grade, which is seven years before the main action of the movie starts. Let me clarify that — Reed Richards is a senior in high school when he is recruited to work for the Baxter Group. No history of scientific achievement, or really any achievement of any kind. He's a kid in a science fair. That's the highlight of this bath of lukewarm sulfuric acid that is this script. I'm not even going to go through the list of things wrong with this movie because you'd be reading for, how long is this movie? Oh yeah, 1 hour 40 minutes. That's 100 minutes of mind-numbing pain as your head is repeatedly rammed into the aforementioned sulfuric acid of this story. Twenitieth Century Fox should be tied to the back of a horse and dragged down Main Street because wild west justice is the only thing that could possibly redeem this assault on human decency.

    The few attempts at "humor" were so clearly shoved in your face to say, "Laugh at our jokes, laugh at them!" that there's no possible way it could have been enjoyable. There's no bonding between the characters, even the shadow of the friendship between Ben and Reed is burned away amid a downpour of acidic plot points. Any semblance of a relationship or bond of any kind between the two characters is so forced that I'm pissed they didn't even have the courtesy to spit on their fist first.

    Everything about this movie is horrible. The story is a muddy fart in the face of real films and any decent comic book movie. The CG work is so half-assed you won't believe that their budget could possibly be accurate. It seems all of the budget went into the two different shots of a dimension not our own that they had nothing left to spend on the effects for the main characters, ya know, the stuff that makes their powers visually available.

    Dr. Doom (Toby Kebbell) doesn't even have a mouth. Go back and read that again. Yup, no mouth. Nothing about him even remotely resembles the character he is supposedly representing. At a couple points he has an inexplicable accent, and then suddenly doesn't again? There's even a point where Sue Storm (Kate Mara) does a horrifically bad fake Russian accent. Russia should sue over it. If Latveria were a real country, this absolutely horrific "movie" would be considered an act of war.

    The last 20 minutes was clearly penned by Steve from accounting in the middle of a two day cocaine bender. The actors had even given up by then. Their performances were so lazy it was like watching a middle school production of Hamlet, but without all the good parts. The final "confrontation" with Doom feels like a bad acid trip through a Beatles album. I actually had to restrain myself from laughing until the credits rolled, after which I took a couple minutes to just roll in my seat and weep tears of utterly confused laughter.

    Everyone involved in this production should be fired, replaced with Steve in accounting, rehired, then fired again by Steve. If you pay to see this movie, you will suffer in the green lava of the other dimensional bullshit of this movie.
     
  9. EmperorsNewCaps

    EmperorsNewCaps Member

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    The swerve from the trailers should be he's initially cast as a pasty white dude until the first time he "flame on," then he's as a pitch as Wesley Snipes.
     
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  10. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Stripped of POTY for butthurting staff VIP

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    Johnny Storm wasn't a colored, just like the Ghostbusters weren't cunts. I'll pass.
     
  11. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Stripped of POTY for butthurting staff VIP

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    The outside companies lose the rights to the characters/stories if they don't produce a movie every X years. That is why they threw together this pile of crap and the second Spiderman origin movie.
     
  12. GLguygardner

    GLguygardner WE DA BEST!! VIP Gold

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    Good. Glad it bombed. Give it back to Marvel.
     
  13. potroast

    potroast Well-Known Member

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    That movie is so bad it made this thread suck.
     
  14. potroast

    potroast Well-Known Member

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    Right? :jj:
    What do you say about a movie that is so bad that reviewers say it's "the worst movie ever made"?

    I got nothing. :confused:
     
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  15. funnymoney

    funnymoney Well-Known Member

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    I haven't seen the movie, nor do I want to waste my time or money at this point, but it appears from reading a myriad of news stories that the whole production was a nightmare. Director Trank had a certain idea for the film which was far from the story and tone of the comics or really anything from the property's long history. There are a few stories floating around out there that he was verbally abusive and exhibited erratic behavior on set, wouldn't show up or would disappear, and his dogs destroyed the house he lived in while shooting. Supposedly no one was happy with what he was shooting or the version of the film he was delivering, so there were significant amounts of reshoots (which some say didn't involve Trank at all). The entire third act was completely rewritten and reshot and Dr. Doom's character was retooled. Trank and his editor were evidently barred from the editing bay. Either they spent so much money on reshoots or they knew how bad the movie was they didn't even do a 3D conversion for the film. I'm sure more stories will come out and this will become part of the lore of Hollywood productions gone wrong.
     
  16. ARM

    ARM Well-Known Member

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    I've never been so happy about being right a comic book movie would bomb. I've only rooted this hard for a comic book to bomb one other time -- and that's the Marc Webb "Amazing Spider-man" 1&2 films - especially when I saw what a shit-show 2 was.

    Obviously my MAIN motivation was to get Spidey from his greatest adversary. Not Green Goblin or Doc Ock or Venom or Kraven or Scorpion....but SONY.
     
  17. scoobyla

    scoobyla Well-Known Member

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    oh nevermind.
    i thought u were talking about jackie, billy, howard, and fred
     
  18. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Stripped of POTY for butthurting staff VIP

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    Those the ones w/ the gay and the frog faced girl, not Tobey McGuire and Kiki Drunkst, right?
     
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  19. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    he never learned to set the flames to simmer when he goes to bed.
     
  20. wigtropolis

    wigtropolis Well-Known Member

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    i just saw the new vacation.

    top movie of all time

    brilliant writing. Spectacular acting. Full of wit, charm and nuance.
    Looking forward to a long line of sequels to propel this into the most beloved series of all time.

    Kudos to all the fine artists that contributed to this masterpiece