Fiona Apple cancelled tour for Animoe fwend...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Avery, Nov 21, 2012.

  1. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    133,878
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2010
    Messages:
    44,521
    Likes Received:
    24,207
    It’s 6pm on Friday,and I’m writing to a few thousand friends I have not met yet. I am writing to ask them to change our plans and meet a little while later. Here’s the thing.

    I have a dog Janet, and she’s been ill for almost two years now, as a tumor has been idling in her chest, growing ever so slowly. She’s almost 14 years old now.I got her when she was 4 months old. I was 21 then ,an adult officially – and she was my child. She is a pitbull, and was found in Echo Park, with a rope around her neck, and bites all over her ears and face.

    She was the one the dogfighters use to puff up the confidence of the contenders. She’s almost 14 and I’ve never seen her start a fight ,or bite, or even growl, so I can understand why they chose her for that awful role. She’s a pacifist.

    Janet has been the most consistent relationship of my adult life, and that is just a fact. We’ve lived in numerous houses, and jumped a few make shift families, but it’s always really been the two of us. She slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and she accepted my hysterical, tearful face into her chest, with her paws around me, every time I was heartbroken, or spirit-broken, or just lost, and as years went by, she let me take the role of her child, as I fell asleep, with her chin resting above my head. She was under the piano when I wrote songs, barked any time I tried to record anything, and she was in the studio with me all the time we recorded the last album. The last time I came back from tour, she was spry as ever, and she’s used to me being gone for a few weeks every 6 or 7 years.

    She has Addison’s Disease, which makes it dangerous for her to travel since she needs regular injections of Cortisol, because she reacts to stress and to excitement without the physiological tools which keep most of us from literally panicking to death. Despite all of this, she’s effortlessly joyful and playful, and only stopped acting like a puppy about 3 years ago. She’s my best friend and my mother and my daughter, my benefactor, and she’s the one who taught me what love is.

    I can’t come to South America. Not now. When I got back from the last leg of the US tour, there was a big, big difference. She doesn’t even want to go for walks anymore. I know that she’s not sad about aging or dying. Animals have a survival instinct, but a sense of mortality and vanity, they do not. That’s why they are so much more present than people. But I know that she is coming close to point where she will stop being a dog, and instead, be part of everything. She’ll be in the wind, and in the soil, and the snow, and in me, wherever I go. I just can’t leave her now, please understand. If I go away again, I’m afraid she’ll die and I won’t have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out.

    Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes to pick which socks to wear to bed. But this decision is instant. These are the choices we make, which define us. I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love and friendship. I am the woman who stays home and bakes Tilapia for my dearest, oldest friend. And helps her be comfortable, and comforted, and safe, and important. Many of us these days, we dread the death of a loved one. It is the ugly truth of Life, that keeps us feeling terrified and alone. I wish we could also appreciate the time that lies right beside the end of time.

    I know that I will feel the most overwhelming knowledge of her, and of her life and of my love for her, in the last moments. I need to do my damnedest to be there for that. Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience of life I’ve ever known. When she dies.

    So I am staying home, and I am listening to her snore and wheeze, and reveling in the swampiest, most awful breath that ever emanated from an angel.

    And I am asking for your blessing.I’ll be seeing you.
    Love, Fiona
     
  2. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    133,878
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2010
    Messages:
    44,521
    Likes Received:
    24,207
    Would Beth cancel a Hampton function for her "children"? Hmmmmmm??


    We know she cancels for a monkey's parent funeral. :coffee:
     
  3. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

    Reputations:
    89,061
    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2010
    Messages:
    29,651
    Likes Received:
    16,234
    Wordy cunt. And do you really think there were a few thousand people going to see her?
     
  4. JB50

    JB50 Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    1,951
    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2012
    Messages:
    964
    Likes Received:
    416
    Time to put er down.
     
  5. JumboWop

    JumboWop Outlaw Gold

    Reputations:
    482,403
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    3,310
    Likes Received:
    719
    This is her way of canceling a tour due to poor ticket sales. She'd probably twist her dog's head off if she thought it would help her fill a 1,500 seat theater.
     
  6. Keyser Soze

    Keyser Soze New Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    -6
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    581
    Likes Received:
    0
    Say what you will, the world would be a better place if more people actually cared about their animals like Fiona Apple.

    I can sympathize because I've lost my two best dogs this way.:tears:
    It is more painful than losing a human member of your family.


    People Suck.

    Dogs Rule!
     
  7. Robert Higgins

    Robert Higgins Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    86,762
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    13,177
    Likes Received:
    20,287

    Good for her. I saw this on the internets last night and thought it is really touching. I lost my 14 year old beagle a couple of years ago and wish I could have taken a sabbatical to have been with him at the end also.

    someone else said it--people suck, dogs are our friends.
     
  8. EndOfLine

    EndOfLine PLATINUM SPONSOR VIP

    Reputations:
    71,280
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2010
    Messages:
    7,390
    Likes Received:
    9,711
    Uh, yes - there were.
     
  9. racerx

    racerx New Member

    Reputations:
    3
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    5,984
    Likes Received:
    2
    in other news, the beatles are making a comeback tour and paul asked richard to be the drummer, but he turned it down because his hamster has a cold
     
  10. Wesmantooth

    Wesmantooth VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    57,548
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    12,610
    Likes Received:
    10,693
    you are on the right track but the world would be a better place if they cared about their fellow man as much as they do their fucking pets
     
  11. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

    Reputations:
    467,481
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2011
    Messages:
    29,202
    Likes Received:
    21,237
    What Fiona wrote is really touching and beautiful. I have much respect for her and totally understand where she's coming from.
    When I knew that my cat had little time left and there was nothing more that could be done for him, I was fortunate in that I was able to drop everything and spend all my time with him until the end (which I still remember like it was yesterday).
    The bond and unconditional love between a person and their pet is so pure and special, and unfortunately, all too brief.
     
  12. boomer1976

    boomer1976 Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    8,418
    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2012
    Messages:
    4,250
    Likes Received:
    1,411
    Sometimes, very rarely, Wesmantooth can be a voice for reason. Good post my knife wielding friend.

    [​IMG]
     
  13. Time Bandit

    Time Bandit Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    26,683
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2012
    Messages:
    10,038
    Likes Received:
    8,412
    fiona was the avril Lavigne of her day

    [​IMG]
     
  14. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

    Reputations:
    339,535
    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    79,567
    Likes Received:
    41,529

    some of them really aren't worth it. :dontknow:
     
  15. MasterBlaster

    MasterBlaster Member

    Reputations:
    -3
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2012
    Messages:
    881
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'd fuck Fiona... several times.
     
  16. Lou Cypher

    Lou Cypher New Member VIP

    Reputations:
    376
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2010
    Messages:
    7,312
    Likes Received:
    17
    Very beautiful and moving. :cry:
     
  17. isabella

    isabella VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    64,597
    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2010
    Messages:
    14,361
    Likes Received:
    10,670
    i believe fiona. there is something about the sweetness and love only a dog (or cat) can give you. the last few days of my first dog's life were grey, the sun didn't come up in the morning....it was a vigil. hoping there would be a miracle, yet knowing it was the end....and not wanting to let him go.
    i held on too long...it was christmas and just couldn't bring him to the vet to say goodbye....so he died in his doggy bed but it was awful. if i think about it, i cry and get angry with myself because i couldn't let him go.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2012
  18. Wesmantooth

    Wesmantooth VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    57,548
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    12,610
    Likes Received:
    10,693
    :iohi5:
     
  19. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

    Reputations:
    1,189
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    42,557
    Likes Received:
    14
    I love Fiona. :)

    When my doggy died (I was 21), I bawled like a baby. Had him since I was 7 or 8. He was such a sweet doggy. :(
     
  20. boomer1976

    boomer1976 Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    8,418
    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2012
    Messages:
    4,250
    Likes Received:
    1,411
    Ahhhh, crying over a dog. You're so ga...........uuummmmmm straight?