News FL man turns himself in for killing his imaginary friend "Mr. Happy"

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Sep 10, 2016.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Proud Schtick POTY 2016 Gold

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    I guess it's not always BF....F.
    Here you have another reason why drugs are bad, kids: you end up killing your imaginary friend and then demand the death penalty, which is exactly what one Florida man did.

    Geoff Gaylord walked into a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office and confessed to his crime: he had repeatedly stabbed his friend 'Mr. Happy' with a kitchen knife, cut up Mr. Happy with a hatchet, and buried him in his backyard. Let me remind you again that this occurred in Florida, so perhaps it should come as a surprise to no one.

    image.jpeg

    Gaylord and Mr. Happy were friends for seven years but, according to Gaylord, he killed him for a few reasons:

    'He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen... never picked up his empty cocaine baggies...He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn't get it clean...Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF...We'd go dancing, play on the children's park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal � listened to it for hours with the lights turned off.'

    When Mr. Happy crashed Gaylord's car, and Gaylord got arrested instead, Gaylord had had enough.

    'That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him.'

    Gaylord was eventually taken into custody when he threatened police for not giving him the death penalty. Police found drug paraphernalia and a machine gun in Gaylord's house, and was booked on multiple charges.

    So much for the BFF bracelets these two exchanged.
     
  2. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member Banned User

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    He's crying :jj:
     
  3. Wigzilla

    Wigzilla Well-Known Member

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  4. Beth Onostrosky

    Beth Onostrosky Well-Known Member

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    Most certainly cause by a lifetime of childish taunts,:bjmimic:
     
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  5. RaeRae

    RaeRae Rae Gold

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    Schizophrenia + Drugs = murdering Mr. Happy. Thank God this psycho didn't go on a rampage. He had a machine gun!
     
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  6. DaTenses

    DaTenses Well-Known Member

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    Where's Bugs? You guys are getting slow.

    P.S. They might wanna check to see if that guy still has his dick. Any time someone says they cut Mr. Happy with a kitchen knife...
     
  7. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    @MONK
     
  8. njguy8

    njguy8 Well-Known Member VIP

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    Why do insane people like this always have a full head of hair.

    Here I am, a responsible person. I pay my taxes, (and in Jersey, that's a LOT). I own my own business, and so on, yet I have to deal with baldness. All while Whacky McFuckface over there is killing imaginary people with a full head of hair.

    What a fucking waste of healthy follicles.
     
  9. Vidiot

    Vidiot Well-Known Member

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  10. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

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    :tzone:
     
  11. Donkey Patrol

    Donkey Patrol The Mouthy One Gold

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    Is it April 1st?
     
  12. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    Awww. I wanna give him a cuddle.
     
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  13. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker VIP

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    i hear somebody cuts mr happy, i cross my legs and cup my junk. it makes him nervous!
     
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  14. Donkey Patrol

    Donkey Patrol The Mouthy One Gold

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    Rumor has it, retarded people have huge penis' too
     
  15. ilovebacon

    ilovebacon Well-Known Member VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
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  16. SternsEgo

    SternsEgo Well-Known Member

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    :cwl:
     
  17. MrsTreat

    MrsTreat Well-Known Member

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    Forget the hair. Why do insane people always seem to have 'machine' guns?
     
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  18. njguy8

    njguy8 Well-Known Member VIP

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    LOL!!!!!!!
     
  19. njguy8

    njguy8 Well-Known Member VIP

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    Shit, that's a way better question. You're 100% right.
     
  20. Father O'Blivion

    Father O'Blivion Well-Known Member

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    Umm, what?