For this Halloween, don't forget to wear your necropants!

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Chaos, Oct 31, 2013.

  1. Chaos

    Chaos Active Member

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    You can't wear white after Labor Day and you can't wear human flesh after Halloween - which means it's time to get into your necropants again.


    You probably don't have a pair of necropants. The only known pair is in the Museum of Icelandic Sorcerory and Witchcraft, which is surely the most badass museum in all the world (Iceland has the market cornered on awesome museums - they also have a penis museum!). It's a relic of 17th century black magick, and would bring the wearer luck and wealth. The necropants, as you see, are... fully intact, and if you put a coin in the scrotum while wearing them, you would have an endless stream of wealth.


    'People would be able to use them as long as they lived, but they would have to get rid of them before they die. If they would find someone to take them over the could last forever.' At least that's what a spokesman from the museum told the Mail Online.


    How would you make your own necropants? Well, first you have to skin a human being from the waist down, but you have to do it in one big, continuous piece. You can't stich necropants together. Don't worry about being squeamish - the skin has to come from a dead person, and they have to consent to being skinned before they die. It's totally consensual black magick. According to the museum website:


    After he has been buried you must dig up his body and flay the skin of the corpse in one piece from the waist down. As soon as you step into the pants they will stick to your own skin. A coin must be stolen from a poor widow and placed in the scrotum along with the magical sign, nábrókarstafur, written on a piece of paper. Consequently the coin will draw money into the scrotum so it will never be empty, as long as the original coin is not removed. To ensure salvation the owner has to convince someone else to overtake the pants and step into each leg as soon as he gets out of it. The necropants will thus keep the money-gathering nature for generations.

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  2. Markijuano

    Markijuano Well-Known Member

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    Wear a raincoat
     
  3. Chaos

    Chaos Active Member

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    But will it bring you money? :bigthink:
     
  4. Just Peachy

    Just Peachy VIP Extreme Gold

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    And how are they preserved all these years? :uscratch:
     
  5. Chaos

    Chaos Active Member

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    This prolly falls under "don't ask the question if you really don't want to hear the answer" guidelines. :c
     
  6. HaroldJackson

    HaroldJackson Well-Known Member

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    did they wear underwear under them?