For those of you women (and men) who are dealing with an aging mom (or dad)

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Mlaw, Aug 15, 2015.

  1. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

    Reputations:
    383,284
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    60,996
    Likes Received:
    26,056
    ... or dear friend or other relative

    [​IMG]
    My dear girl, the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don't interrupt to say: "You said the same thing a minute ago"... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

    When I don't want to take a bath, don't be mad and don't embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

    When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don't look at me that way ... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life's issues every day... the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through.

    If I occasionally lose track of what we're talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can't, don't be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

    And when my old, tired legs don't let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don't feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I'll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I've always had for you, I just want to say, I love you ... my darling daughter.

    Original text in Spanish and photo by Guillermo Peña.
    Translation to English by Sergio Cadena
     
    GoshGeeGolly likes this.
  2. Bubbleguts420

    Bubbleguts420 2 word review, shit sandwich

    Reputations:
    45,694
    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2010
    Messages:
    4,707
    Likes Received:
    3,025
    I'm not even 40 and both my parents are dead.

    :bigcry:
     
  3. Mur

    Mur soon

    Reputations:
    6,860
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    8,125
    Likes Received:
    1,121
  4. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    167,374
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    61,918
    Likes Received:
    20,903
    those things always sound better until the time comes to walk the walk.
     
  5. Billy Brown

    Billy Brown Bigly VIP

    Reputations:
    72,011
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    38,257
    Likes Received:
    5,578
    Mlaw is trying to make us cry.
     
  6. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

    Reputations:
    383,284
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    60,996
    Likes Received:
    26,056
    One of my closest friends is 85--she's my surrogate mother, and has been instrumental in my recovery. Her short term memory is really slipping, she will ask me the same questions, or tell me things over and over. I try to be as patient as possible, I have to do better.
     
    Stew Nod likes this.
  7. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    167,374
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    61,918
    Likes Received:
    20,903
    i walked that walk, and now i advise people to run away screaming as fast as they can as though their lives are at stake (because they are).
     
  8. Awesomesauce

    Awesomesauce Active Member

    Reputations:
    837
    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2015
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    170
    [​IMG]
     
    Napoleon V likes this.
  9. Billy Brown

    Billy Brown Bigly VIP

    Reputations:
    72,011
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    38,257
    Likes Received:
    5,578
    Shit that sucks, man. :console:

    I will never complain about having no grandparents ever again.
     
  10. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

    Reputations:
    383,284
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    60,996
    Likes Received:
    26,056
    I didn't have to walk the walk with my parents, except for the end of my mom's battle with cancer, but I'm doing it with this friend. I spend 3-4 days a week with her, we speak on the phone 2-3 times a day (she forgets that we spoke :facepalm: ) I can never repay her for what she's done for me, I want to do better
     
  11. ice cream

    ice cream Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    19,403
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2011
    Messages:
    23,675
    Likes Received:
    5,202
    Bringing the sads. :bigcry:
     
  12. Bubbleguts420

    Bubbleguts420 2 word review, shit sandwich

    Reputations:
    45,694
    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2010
    Messages:
    4,707
    Likes Received:
    3,025

    Yeah man. Let em know you love them and how important they are to you (if they are).
    Regret is a monster to live with.
     
    Billy Brown likes this.
  13. Billy Brown

    Billy Brown Bigly VIP

    Reputations:
    72,011
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    38,257
    Likes Received:
    5,578
    We are about the same age.
    I couldn't imagine not having my parents.
     
  14. Nunz

    Nunz Lar's lurking. Gold

    Reputations:
    298,017
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    12,314
    Likes Received:
    20,322
    Has she been diagnosed?
     
  15. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    167,374
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    61,918
    Likes Received:
    20,903
    diagnosed as old? i didn't think that was necessary.
     
  16. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

    Reputations:
    461,096
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    31,615
    Likes Received:
    34,821
    Maybe she is just drunk. :dontknow:
     
  17. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    167,374
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    61,918
    Likes Received:
    20,903
    at 85 its "mellow": what does she have to be sober for?
     
    Lemmy likes this.
  18. Nunz

    Nunz Lar's lurking. Gold

    Reputations:
    298,017
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    12,314
    Likes Received:
    20,322
    :jj: Nah, there may be other underlying issues besides old age. And if there are, there are also certain meds which may be of help in stabilizing her cognizance.
     
  19. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

    Reputations:
    147,823
    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2012
    Messages:
    31,616
    Likes Received:
    26,999
    Pillow over the face.
     
  20. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    167,374
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    61,918
    Likes Received:
    20,903
    what for? at 85 the ability to forget things means everything is new and interesting. let her have fun.