WTF Fuck.... Shit and vomit

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Beth143nacho, Jun 28, 2016.

  1. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    65,074
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    19,928
    Likes Received:
    16,742
    dammit, I wasn't feeling well all day today at work. Went to the bathroom and sat down only to fart after 20 minutes of trying. Left the bathroom and returned to my seat. Had to interview someone and as soon as it starts the feeling came back again.

    Struggled thru most of the interview, but then a coworker that was also complaining to have been sick a few days ago excused themselves suddenly.

    Anyway, I mushed thru the interview, excused myself from a conversation and promptly went to sit.

    As I was preparing the ass gasket, the whiff of deep shit penetrated my nose and then it was too late. My mouth began to water. I squeezed my left thumb pad (it actually works!) until someone left the bathroom...

    Then the puke began.... Violent puke. At one point, I caved over in pain as my abs cramped.

    Miraculously, none got on me and I didn't shit my pants I. The process. I actually cleaned up, switched stalls and shit.

    A couple cough drops let me get home, but now the diarrhea has begun and I can't keep anything down... Gonna be a fuck of a night if it was anything like last time. Oof
     
  2. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Stripped of POTY for butthurting staff VIP

    Reputations:
    577,394
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    47,154
    Likes Received:
    78,972
    Did you wash yer shitty drawers in the kitchen sink, like the last guy?
     
  3. zhukov

    zhukov Time traveler Gold

    Reputations:
    90,565
    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2011
    Messages:
    30,422
    Likes Received:
    9,984
    Nothing says kill me Lord like the stomach flu.
     
  4. zhukov

    zhukov Time traveler Gold

    Reputations:
    90,565
    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2011
    Messages:
    30,422
    Likes Received:
    9,984
    Probably got it for not being a supporter. :ucoffee:
     
  5. quitefrankly

    quitefrankly Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    81,370
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    3,011
    Likes Received:
    3,738
    just say shooo shooo retarted fiu over and over u be ok
     
    reno, Vidiot, GLguygardner and 3 others like this.
  6. somedude61

    somedude61 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    5,252
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    2,764
    Likes Received:
    1,209
    Sounds like norrovirus. 24-36 hours of hell. Ride it out if you can. Drink fluids. You will puke them up but keep trying.
     
  7. DaTenses

    DaTenses Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    17,728
    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2015
    Messages:
    3,150
    Likes Received:
    4,747
    Sorry, you got da AIDS.
     
    vaporizer, Vidiot and GLguygardner like this.
  8. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    65,074
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    19,928
    Likes Received:
    16,742
    Lots of shitting, but gladly no puking last night. Only thing I ate since 3pm yesterday was a banana, which promptly came up.

    Just choked down two cups of oj and it seems to be holding.

    Think it's pretty much passed, but holy shit.
     
  9. Vidiot

    Vidiot Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    8,136
    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    1,511
    Likes Received:
    2,087
    Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year.

     
  10. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    324,016
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2012
    Messages:
    13,707
    Likes Received:
    40,555
    Shit happens.
     
  11. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    65,074
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    19,928
    Likes Received:
    16,742
    The oj is holding but just barely. My asshole is raw...
     
  12. RONNIE THE CLAW

    RONNIE THE CLAW Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    40,469
    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2012
    Messages:
    1,491
    Likes Received:
    4,667
    Hope you're OK, but this sounds like food poisoning. Stomach flu is an invention to distract you from the real cause which is food borne. Pay attention to what you are putting in your body. The 'flu' hits your whole body and every joint aches for days. Get well soon!
     
    iceguy likes this.
  13. Ingens

    Ingens VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    28,275
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    3,350
    Likes Received:
    6,963
    Good points. Have you been eating at questionable establishments with your co-worker?
     
  14. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    65,074
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    19,928
    Likes Received:
    16,742
    Ate at Taco Bell the night before last...

    I never eat fast food, so that may be it.

    Just puked up those two glasses of oj I had 3 hrs ago as well as som partially digested Campbell's chicken noodle soup that I had at 3 yesterday...

    Oofah.

    The bad news is that I can't keep anything down and shit a lot...

    The good news is that whenever I shit or puke, I feel much better.
     
  15. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    77,392
    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Messages:
    8,971
    Likes Received:
    15,455
    Stomach flu is real is called rotavirus,kids get it mostly
     
  16. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    77,392
    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Messages:
    8,971
    Likes Received:
    15,455
    If you have a fever go to the hospital, the symptoms of colitis, bacterial or ulcerative can be the same as stomach flu but it can kill you. If you have fever over 100 GO TO HOSPITAL don't fuck around with your life. My dad did and almost died