WTF Fuck.... Shit and vomit

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Beth143nacho, Jun 28, 2016.

  1. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Bede bede beep VIP

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    dammit, I wasn't feeling well all day today at work. Went to the bathroom and sat down only to fart after 20 minutes of trying. Left the bathroom and returned to my seat. Had to interview someone and as soon as it starts the feeling came back again.

    Struggled thru most of the interview, but then a coworker that was also complaining to have been sick a few days ago excused themselves suddenly.

    Anyway, I mushed thru the interview, excused myself from a conversation and promptly went to sit.

    As I was preparing the ass gasket, the whiff of deep shit penetrated my nose and then it was too late. My mouth began to water. I squeezed my left thumb pad (it actually works!) until someone left the bathroom...

    Then the puke began.... Violent puke. At one point, I caved over in pain as my abs cramped.

    Miraculously, none got on me and I didn't shit my pants I. The process. I actually cleaned up, switched stalls and shit.

    A couple cough drops let me get home, but now the diarrhea has begun and I can't keep anything down... Gonna be a fuck of a night if it was anything like last time. Oof
     
  2. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Stripped of POTY for butthurting staff VIP

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    Did you wash yer shitty drawers in the kitchen sink, like the last guy?
     
  3. zhukov

    zhukov Time traveler VIP

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    Nothing says kill me Lord like the stomach flu.
     
  4. zhukov

    zhukov Time traveler VIP

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    Probably got it for not being a supporter. :ucoffee:
     
  5. quitefrankly

    quitefrankly Well-Known Member

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    just say shooo shooo retarted fiu over and over u be ok
     
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  6. somedude61

    somedude61 Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like norrovirus. 24-36 hours of hell. Ride it out if you can. Drink fluids. You will puke them up but keep trying.
     
  7. DaTenses

    DaTenses Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, you got da AIDS.
     
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  8. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Bede bede beep VIP

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    Lots of shitting, but gladly no puking last night. Only thing I ate since 3pm yesterday was a banana, which promptly came up.

    Just choked down two cups of oj and it seems to be holding.

    Think it's pretty much passed, but holy shit.
     
  9. Vidiot

    Vidiot Well-Known Member

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    Santa Claus has got the AIDS this year.

     
  10. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Shit happens.
     
  11. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Bede bede beep VIP

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    The oj is holding but just barely. My asshole is raw...
     
  12. RONNIE THE CLAW

    RONNIE THE CLAW Well-Known Member

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    Hope you're OK, but this sounds like food poisoning. Stomach flu is an invention to distract you from the real cause which is food borne. Pay attention to what you are putting in your body. The 'flu' hits your whole body and every joint aches for days. Get well soon!
     
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  13. Ingens

    Ingens VIP Extreme Gold

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    Good points. Have you been eating at questionable establishments with your co-worker?
     
  14. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Bede bede beep VIP

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    Ate at Taco Bell the night before last...

    I never eat fast food, so that may be it.

    Just puked up those two glasses of oj I had 3 hrs ago as well as som partially digested Campbell's chicken noodle soup that I had at 3 yesterday...

    Oofah.

    The bad news is that I can't keep anything down and shit a lot...

    The good news is that whenever I shit or puke, I feel much better.
     
  15. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

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    Stomach flu is real is called rotavirus,kids get it mostly
     
  16. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

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    If you have a fever go to the hospital, the symptoms of colitis, bacterial or ulcerative can be the same as stomach flu but it can kill you. If you have fever over 100 GO TO HOSPITAL don't fuck around with your life. My dad did and almost died