I won't lie: some of the best times of my life have involved alcohol. But lately, the more I drink, the more the fun starts the next morning. You get to ask yourself questions like this: Is that blood? Is that my blood? Is that someone else's blood? How many threads did I start on Dawg Shed last night? How many drunk texts did I send? Did I really pay $18.50 to see Fantastic Four? What did I drunk order myself off amazon.com? Why is my car on the lawn? Why did I think ordering a Jokemaster Junior was funny? Why are the kids hiding from me? Why is my wife crying? Why is Steel Reserve such a fine, easy-drinking malt liquor? What the fuck is going on with True Detective? Who took my rug? Where those nihilists?