Fun With Alcohol!

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by WillyBest, Aug 9, 2015.

  1. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

    Reputations:
    257,284
    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2012
    Messages:
    25,468
    Likes Received:
    25,958
    I won't lie: some of the best times of my life have involved alcohol. But lately, the more I drink, the more the fun starts the next morning. You get to ask yourself questions like this:

    Is that blood?

    Is that my blood?

    Is that someone else's blood?

    How many threads did I start on Dawg Shed last night?

    How many drunk texts did I send?

    Did I really pay $18.50 to see Fantastic Four?

    What did I drunk order myself off amazon.com?

    Why is my car on the lawn?

    Why did I think ordering a Jokemaster Junior was funny?

    Why are the kids hiding from me?

    Why is my wife crying?

    Why is Steel Reserve such a fine, easy-drinking malt liquor?

    What the fuck is going on with True Detective?

    Who took my rug?

    Where those nihilists?
     
  2. Snotty

    Snotty My Snothand be strong!!! VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    99,358
    Joined:
    May 13, 2012
    Messages:
    26,927
    Likes Received:
    19,760
    Me: Where is my fucking car?
     
  3. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

    Reputations:
    119,017
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2010
    Messages:
    68,675
    Likes Received:
    23,404
    And now I want a beer.:wino:
     
  4. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

    Reputations:
    339,733
    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    79,569
    Likes Received:
    41,545
    I had surgery years ago and was on pain meds for a few days.


    The eBay orders arrived shortly thereafter. And kept coming, and coming.

    I ordered a smiley face wheel cover for my jeep. And apparently every other smiley face item in existence.

    A friend came over, looked around and said "i didn't realize you liked smiley faces so much."

    "Neither did I", I said
     
  5. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

    Reputations:
    119,017
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2010
    Messages:
    68,675
    Likes Received:
    23,404
    :jj:
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.
  6. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    348,695
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2012
    Messages:
    14,118
    Likes Received:
    42,208
    Where did I leave my pants?

    Who is this women in bed with me?

    And why does she keep calling me Pookie?
     
  7. Rescued Owl

    Rescued Owl VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    174,057
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2014
    Messages:
    8,501
    Likes Received:
    25,216
    Why is Steel Reserve such a fine, easy-drinking malt liquor?
    :haha:
     
  8. Murcielago

    Murcielago Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

    Reputations:
    120,522
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    10,857
    Likes Received:
    16,254
    Add "How did it get there?" and you get a picture of mornings for me in the late 90s-early 00s.
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew, Dlist and WillyBest like this.
  9. TheMercenary

    TheMercenary Collecting Light Gold

    Reputations:
    311,051
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2014
    Messages:
    10,812
    Likes Received:
    36,045
  10. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove Gold

    Reputations:
    377,694
    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2015
    Messages:
    7,231
    Likes Received:
    23,442
    This is so me and now

    [​IMG]
     
  11. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

    Reputations:
    250,838
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2013
    Messages:
    41,166
    Likes Received:
    31,567

    Last night:

    I bought a pistol I didn't really need. :facepalm:

    Started shitty spin off threads on Dawgshed :facepalm:

    Texted an ex girlfriend to meet up for a lunch I'm now about to cancel :facepalm:

    Have a nasty taste of a shitty overnight delivery pizza in my mouth :facepalm:

    Have a blanket that needs to be laundered because it's coated in alcohol gas :facepalm:

    And Steel Reserve never goes down well. And always has to be chased with a soda or tea. :grad:
     
  12. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

    Reputations:
    114,974
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,086
    Likes Received:
    22,488


    :lol:
     
  13. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

    Reputations:
    930,695
    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    32,365
    Likes Received:
    68,842
    That's me when I'm actually tipsy. I just get silly, sappy and sad, no blood. I also tell random ppl I'm in love with them.
     
  14. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker VIP

    Reputations:
    154,938
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    42,987
    Likes Received:
    27,093
    i stopped drinking and i cut doing stupid stuff in half! :grad:
     
  15. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove Gold

    Reputations:
    377,694
    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2015
    Messages:
    7,231
    Likes Received:
    23,442
    Minus the sad part, this sounds really nice actually. At least you're not a mean kind of tipsy.
     
  16. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It

    Reputations:
    154,790
    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2013
    Messages:
    3,619
    Likes Received:
    13,709


    Lost Weekend Lyrics
    Well I guess I had myself some fun last night
    I don't remember a thing but I'm trying with all my might
    Well my brain's a shameful blur
    But one thing is for sure
    I found myself another lost weekend

    Well my hands are sore and there's lumps upside my head
    Some teen-age girl is sleeping in my bed
    And if I don't lie down quick
    I believe that I'll get sick
    Repentance for another lost weekend

    I wish somebody'd tell me just who and what I did
    Why is this ring on my finger and who's that screaming kid?

    My phone is ringing, I hear I put on quite a show
    And the more I learn the less I want to know
    Well I wanna dig a hole and die
    But I couldn't even if I tried
    I found myself another lost weekend

    I'm praying to the porcelain god down on my knees
    Said I'll swear off if you'll only help me please
    And as my guts run down the drain
    I sing one last refrain
    I'll never find another lost weekend

     
  17. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

    Reputations:
    930,695
    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    32,365
    Likes Received:
    68,842
    No, definitely not mean. More likely to tell Hitler he has some redeeming qualities.
     
  18. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

    Reputations:
    119,017
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2010
    Messages:
    68,675
    Likes Received:
    23,404
    I had one too. :beer:


    @Phil McKrakin
     
    WillyBest and IfTheyOnlyKnew like this.
  19. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove Gold

    Reputations:
    377,694
    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2015
    Messages:
    7,231
    Likes Received:
    23,442
    :giggle: That is definitely generous.
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.
  20. Pothead

    Pothead Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    8,946
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2014
    Messages:
    1,574
    Likes Received:
    2,300
    Having long and involved conversations with people with absolutely no recollection whatsoever.

    I realize we had a four hour-long conversation at dinner last night. What was your name again?