Fun With Alcohol!

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by WillyBest, Aug 9, 2015.

  1. WillyBest

    WillyBest POTY The Bar Gold

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    I won't lie: some of the best times of my life have involved alcohol. But lately, the more I drink, the more the fun starts the next morning. You get to ask yourself questions like this:

    Is that blood?

    Is that my blood?

    Is that someone else's blood?

    How many threads did I start on Dawg Shed last night?

    How many drunk texts did I send?

    Did I really pay $18.50 to see Fantastic Four?

    What did I drunk order myself off amazon.com?

    Why is my car on the lawn?

    Why did I think ordering a Jokemaster Junior was funny?

    Why are the kids hiding from me?

    Why is my wife crying?

    Why is Steel Reserve such a fine, easy-drinking malt liquor?

    What the fuck is going on with True Detective?

    Who took my rug?

    Where those nihilists?
     
  2. Snotty

    Snotty Crunchy guy living in a creamy world...... VIP

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    Me: Where is my fucking car?
     
  3. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~POTY the bar~ 2010 OG Gold

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    And now I want a beer.:wino:
     
  4. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    I had surgery years ago and was on pain meds for a few days.


    The eBay orders arrived shortly thereafter. And kept coming, and coming.

    I ordered a smiley face wheel cover for my jeep. And apparently every other smiley face item in existence.

    A friend came over, looked around and said "i didn't realize you liked smiley faces so much."

    "Neither did I", I said
     
  5. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~POTY the bar~ 2010 OG Gold

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    :jj:
     
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  6. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Where did I leave my pants?

    Who is this women in bed with me?

    And why does she keep calling me Pookie?
     
  7. Rescued Owl

    Rescued Owl Well-Known Member

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    Why is Steel Reserve such a fine, easy-drinking malt liquor?
    :haha:
     
  8. Murcielago

    Murcielago Dead Pull Hitter Gold

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    Add "How did it get there?" and you get a picture of mornings for me in the late 90s-early 00s.
     
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  9. TheMercenary

    TheMercenary Collecting Light

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  10. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove

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    This is so me and now

    [​IMG]
     
  11. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner! VIP

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    Last night:

    I bought a pistol I didn't really need. :facepalm:

    Started shitty spin off threads on Dawgshed :facepalm:

    Texted an ex girlfriend to meet up for a lunch I'm now about to cancel :facepalm:

    Have a nasty taste of a shitty overnight delivery pizza in my mouth :facepalm:

    Have a blanket that needs to be laundered because it's coated in alcohol gas :facepalm:

    And Steel Reserve never goes down well. And always has to be chased with a soda or tea. :grad:
     
  12. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo 2010 OG VIP

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    :lol:
     
  13. Jayla

    Jayla It's not my circus, not my monkeys Gold

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    That's me when I'm actually tipsy. I just get silly, sappy and sad, no blood. I also tell random ppl I'm in love with them.
     
  14. sstressed

    sstressed Well-Known Member

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    i stopped drinking and i cut doing stupid stuff in half! :grad:
     
  15. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove

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    Minus the sad part, this sounds really nice actually. At least you're not a mean kind of tipsy.
     
  16. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It

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    Lost Weekend Lyrics
    Well I guess I had myself some fun last night
    I don't remember a thing but I'm trying with all my might
    Well my brain's a shameful blur
    But one thing is for sure
    I found myself another lost weekend

    Well my hands are sore and there's lumps upside my head
    Some teen-age girl is sleeping in my bed
    And if I don't lie down quick
    I believe that I'll get sick
    Repentance for another lost weekend

    I wish somebody'd tell me just who and what I did
    Why is this ring on my finger and who's that screaming kid?

    My phone is ringing, I hear I put on quite a show
    And the more I learn the less I want to know
    Well I wanna dig a hole and die
    But I couldn't even if I tried
    I found myself another lost weekend

    I'm praying to the porcelain god down on my knees
    Said I'll swear off if you'll only help me please
    And as my guts run down the drain
    I sing one last refrain
    I'll never find another lost weekend

     
  17. Jayla

    Jayla It's not my circus, not my monkeys Gold

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    No, definitely not mean. More likely to tell Hitler he has some redeeming qualities.
     
  18. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~POTY the bar~ 2010 OG Gold

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    I had one too. :beer:


    @Phil McKrakin
     
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  19. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove

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    :giggle: That is definitely generous.
     
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  20. Pothead

    Pothead Well-Known Member

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    Having long and involved conversations with people with absolutely no recollection whatsoever.

    I realize we had a four hour-long conversation at dinner last night. What was your name again?