Fun with telemarketers.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Slippy, Aug 26, 2013.

  1. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    They used to piss me off so badly. I've lost my fucking mind on the phone with them before, threatened to find their families, burn down their homes, and ass-rape their mothers.

    I took a new approach a couple of years ago.

    It amuses me.

    I just had one of my favorite calls EVER. "This is Rogers, we are looking for Slippy"

    Me: (in my best East Indian accent) "what are you wearing?"

    her: Pardon me?

    Me: You have panties on? Tell me about panties.

    her: I'm sorry? I don't understand.

    Me: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, do panties match bra? Tell me about bra.

    her: I don't understand.

    Me: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, are panties moist?

    her: This call is being recorded.

    Me: ooooooooooo, you like the dirty......tell me how dirty you like

    her: We cannot continue this conversation, so you know. This is inappropriate.

    Me: well, me no ask you to call........but you call back with sexy moist panties, ok?

    :rofl:

    I need a hobby.

    Anybody else fuck with telemarketers for sport?
     
  2. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

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    So did he cum or what?
     
  3. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    She.

    She also had an east Indian accent, though hers was better than mine.
     
  4. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    I'm a-gonna' call and pretend to be a telemarketer :)
     
  5. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    Easy buddy leave the creepy comment to the professionals
     
  6. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

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    Jesus Christ, Slippy. There's just some things you just don't talk about in public.
     
  7. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    :lol:

    Make sure it shows up as an 800 or 888 #. I'm brutal the moment I answer the phone!
     
  8. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    I have social problems. And a brain-to-mouth-filter issue.

    :dontknow:
     
  9. zhukov

    zhukov Time traveler Gold

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    don't ever change

    you are Allah's gift to the infidels
     
  10. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    I'm going to work Allah into my next dirty conversation with one of them. :yes:
     
  11. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    A buddy of mine told me of a different approach.

    He said that he gets all excited with them. "YES, great time for a call! I'm doing well in my life and finally have money left over every month!!!! LET'S DO THIS!

    I'll send you $5 next month."

    telemarketer: "sir, it's $2000.........."

    him: "well god bless payment plans and my great life! let's make this happen!"

    :rofl:
     
  12. Bubbleguts420

    Bubbleguts420 2 word review, shit sandwich

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    I do that shit all the time.

    Once when I was still living at home someone called for my mom. The person on the other end was obviously young and calling from a blocked number. I went on to tell her how my mom was taking a big dump and couldn't come to the phone. Turns out it was some fundraiser girl from the neighborhood that my mom had bought some wrapping paper from months before. :facepalm:
     
  13. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    :spit:

    WHOOPS!!!!!
     
  14. Double Blizz

    Double Blizz New Member Banned User

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    Jesus Christ :jj:
     
  15. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    OMG. So funny :)
     
  16. boxers

    boxers Guest

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    When they call you ask them to hold on a second and then you set the phone down. Then you go back to eating dinner while they wait
     
  17. DroppingLoads

    DroppingLoads New Member Banned User

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    fake. :facepalm:
     
  18. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo The Gun Gold

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    I'm gonna call slippy and pretend to be a telemarketer :evil:
     
  19. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    :facepalm:
     
  20. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    905-748-0330

    Be sure to record it.

    It took me under 2 minutes flat to get Neesie to hang up on me.