Getting married in a month. Tips for marriage?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by SiriusDawg, Apr 24, 2012.

  1. SiriusDawg

    SiriusDawg New Member

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  2. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus!

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    cheat
     
  3. Vyb

    Vyb serial chiller Gold

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    don't do it
     
  4. Porn Stache

    Porn Stache Active Member

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    Is this Kellyg?
     
  5. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...this is sage advice. +1.
     
  6. TripTo My Taint

    TripTo My Taint Well-Known Member

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    Why buy the cow, when you can fuck the cow for free?
     
  7. nightshift

    nightshift so so stupid VIP

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    this is the right vibe :yesshake:
     
  8. SeXtion 8

    SeXtion 8 New Member VIP

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    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2014
  9. Jay

    Jay New Member

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    Ask for a pre nup
     
  10. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    Don't do it.
     
  11. Popeye Saavedra

    Popeye Saavedra Well-Known Member

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    This. But if you do it, then drink heavily and don't stop until you die.
     
  12. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Stripped of POTY for butthurting staff VIP

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    I read this somewhere, never got a chance to try it, but it may work for you:

    First night of the honeymoon, beat the shit out of her. She won't want to run home to mommy that quick, and will be healed up by the time you get home. After that, you will probably only have to raise your hand to keep her in line.

    Other than that, hide assets. Gold coins, cash in a jar in the garage.

    Always set your browser to delete cookies and history when you log off.

    Get a small concealable falsh drive for holding on to your favorite porn.

    Get a bobo email for contacting hookers.

    Never tell her she's getting fat. Once she stops having sex with you, you'll know that she knows she's fat.

    Never let her smell your dick when you get home from a night out with the boys.

    Baby wipes take glitter make up off your clothes.
     
  13. Mister Joshua

    Mister Joshua New Member

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    [video=youtube_share;y7fsHtkNU7w]http://youtu.be/y7fsHtkNU7w[/video]
     
  14. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    cherish one another, and munch out her box even if she's on her period.
     
  15. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

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    hard to post after "wife is a whore" :facepalm:

    if you want to go a different way, however, consider the following: both of you get in agreement on the three C's

    Cash - joint account? prenup? separate bank accounts (never recommend this, btw)? savings? big purchases? spending limit? budget? veto power? who works (better at least be the man working)?

    Children - yes? no? how many? what genders? when? raised by mom? raised by nanny? raised by the State? raised by inlaws? latch key kids?

    Clan - family. how far away do you have to move to get away from them? or do you have to stay by them? or with them? what holidays do you spend where? with whom?

    if the two of you are in agreement on all three of these key issues, you will still have problems.

    good luck!
     
  16. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    Jesus, kid, I don't know what to tell you. Other than my kids, it aint worth it.
     
  17. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    OK I just thought of something. Make a contract. Every five years you have to both agree to stay married. It will force you to face your problems. If you both don't agree, poof, divorce. I'll let you work out the details but that's a great idea.
     
  18. hockeygrl

    hockeygrl Cancer hand Gold

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    Congrats! :cheer:
     
  19. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

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    if you're not over 25 years old, OP, just wait until you are. if she's the one, nothing lost. if she isn't, a whole buttload of hell saved :up:
     
  20. hockeygrl

    hockeygrl Cancer hand Gold

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    Real and I are getting married next year. If you guys give him this kind of "helpful" advice before our wedding, I will hurt you. :finger: