WTF Good News Canadians, You Can Suck All The Moose Cock You Want... For Now...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by BrerJimmy, Jun 9, 2016.

  1. BrerJimmy

    BrerJimmy Well-Known Member

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    CRIME & DRUGS

    Canada's Top Court Ruled That Oral Sex With Animals Is Technically Legal – For Now
    By Justin Ling
    June 9, 2016 | 10:45 am

    In a surprising decision from Canada's Supreme Court, the country's top judges ruled that forcing a dog to perform oral sex is not, in fact, bestiality and therefore not necessarily illegal.

    The ruling essentially invites Parliament to get to work and fix that.

    The case before the court involves an unnamed man, accused of forcing the family dog to perform oral sex on his underage daughter. The man was convicted of a litany of sexual offences in relation to the abuse, and sentenced to 14 years in jail. On one charge of bestiality, however, he was acquitted on appeal.

    His case was surprisingly complex. His lawyers contended that Parliament had never intended to criminalize oral sex with animals. Instead, they argued before the court, the charge, which carries no formal definition in the Criminal Code, was linked to 'buggery' — a similar charge also criminalized homosexual acts — and therefore required penetration.

    The Government of Canada, as well as Animal Justice — an animal rights group — argued that the court ought to take a common sense approach to the law and naturally consider any sexual contact with animals as wrong, abusive, and illegal.

    They managed to convince one judge.

    "Acts with animals that have a sexual purpose are inherently exploitative whether or not penetration occurs," wrote Justice Rosalie Abella in a dissenting opinion, adding that preventing exploitation is what Canada's laws "were all about."

    The majority court, however, ruled that if Parliament had wanted to criminalize oral sex with animals, it would have — and, in so doing, it wouldn't have used the word 'buggery.'

    "When Parliament uses a term with a legal meaning, it generally intends the term to be given that meaning," the majority court wrote.

    While the court upheld the man's acquittal, it did, however, nudge the government towards taking action to fix the legislative gap.

    "Any expansion of criminal liability for this offence is within Parliament's exclusive domain," they wrote.

    And one member of Parliament was quick to accept the invitation.

    Nathaniel Erskine-Smith, a backbench MP with the governing Liberal Party, introduced C-246, which would explicitly ban all sexual activity between man and animal.

    The legislation would also add a host of other legal protections for animals.
     
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  2. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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  3. bobblebooey

    bobblebooey Well-Known Member

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  4. Walygatr

    Walygatr Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  5. captbill

    captbill Well-Known Member

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    If a law is passed outlawing sex with animals, does that mean no sex "doggie style"?
     
  6. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore King Maker VIP

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    @Slippy

    No need for dating, just get a pet.
     
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  7. BrerJimmy

    BrerJimmy Well-Known Member

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    Definitely crushes the interracial porn industry.
     
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  8. binhphuocngu

    binhphuocngu Well-Known Member

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    Thafuck?!? Too many pucks to someones head?
     
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  9. HowieHasBeen

    HowieHasBeen Well-Known Member VIP

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    Only in Canada.
     
  10. Ashbeard

    Ashbeard Well-Known Member

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    This is what our supreme court is spending time on?


    Thanks Trudeau.
     
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  11. DTF296

    DTF296 Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. CrucifiedAGT

    CrucifiedAGT He's Around VIP

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    Gays, Trannys, Animals........

    Welcome to the NWO where anything that doesn't produce offspring is the new normal.

    :cheer:
     
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  13. PSU Shower Room

    PSU Shower Room Well-Known Member

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    This is perfectly fine, but don't offend 2 lesbians in a comedy club.
     
  14. Rum Balls

    Rum Balls Well-Known Member

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  15. Sleep

    Sleep Bitch Sit Down. Be Humble. Banned User

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    Uhhh, WTfuck, man?
     
  16. EddyG

    EddyG Well-Known Member

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    great. I know a horse that has wanted to suck me off for years
     
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  17. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    :yes:
     
  18. larryluncg

    larryluncg Empty VIP

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    Da fuq is this ruling. It's ok to have oral sex with animals :facepalm:
     
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  19. drewjube

    drewjube Well-Known Member

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    JD!
     
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  20. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore King Maker VIP

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    One day i was driving around doing deliveries and thought to myself, "could I come up w/ 20-30minutes worth of funny/entertaining material on whores?" I think a solid 30 on whores would be great. Soon as some dipshit bim gets up and starts bitchin, you could so easily clown the hell outta her. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were a professional fucker. Let me know yer Donation and Menu Items available, I got a room for after the show." "What is yer upsell for greek, honey? I took a look at yer ass when you were stompin back to yer seat and 50roses is all I'd go." And that is if any broads complained. One thing about crazy broads, only ones they hate more than men are whores.

    I also think it would be funny, because after the first couple of whore jokes, you know the audience would expect you to move on to another topic, but you just keep beating them over the head w/ whore talk. I'd probably do the act in a Lucha mask, to save my family from the shame.