Great Article About Howard's Eulogy

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Stern68, Sep 11, 2014.

  1. Stern68

    Stern68 mult Banned User

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    This was among hundreds of laudatory press mentions of Howard's revolutionary eulogy:


    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/09/howard-stern-eulogy-joan-rivers_n_5791576.html?utm_hp_ref=comedy&ir=Comedy

    Howard Stern's Perfect Eulogy For Joan Rivers May Be The Dirtiest Thing You'll Hear At A Funeral

    Note: This article contains explicit language.

    They don't call him a shock jock for nothing.

    Howard Stern delivered one of the raunchiest eulogies you'll ever hear at Joan Rivers' funeral Sunday. He joked about one of Rivers' body parts that she wasn't shy about referencing in her standup. But the setting -- Temple Emanu-El in Manhattan with a host of celebrity mourners -- made it that much more memorable.

    "In the morose silence Howard Stern said, 'Joan Rivers had a dry pussy,' " comedian Margaret Cho wrote in a blog post for The Huffington Post. "At first, the words just hung there, as no one knew exactly what to do. Of course I started laughing hysterically, and everyone else, remembering who we were there to honor, followed suit. Howard Stern actually choked back tears as he continued - 'Joan’s pussy was so dry it was like a sponge - so that when she got in the bathtub – whooooosh – all the water would get absorbed in there! Joan said that if Whitney Houston had as dry a pussy as Joan’s, she would still be alive today.'"

    Stern wasn't the first to make fun of Rivers' privates. In a Comedy Central roast a few years back, Gilbert Gottfried cracked, "She spread her legs and I was immediately blinded by a flurry of bats."

    And, of course, Rivers wasn't one to hesitate to deliver shtick about her own anatomy: "My vagina is like Newark. Men know it's there, but they don't want to visit."

    According to ABC News, Stern said on his Sirius XM radio show that he hesitated when Rivers' daughter, Melissa, asked him to deliver the eulogy and feared saying the wrong thing. After finally saying yes, Stern said he consulted with Louis C.K., who told Stern that she deserved a great send-off. "Joan was like an aunt or a best friend who could make everything better," the comedian reportedly told Stern.

    In the end, Stern's bawdiness connected. "It was so wrong but so right at the same time," Cho wrote in her essay. "So Joan. So great. RIP my friend."
     
  2. nserafini

    nserafini Well-Known Member

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    You're just like Robin. 4 days behind the actual event.

    I heard the titanic has not checked in yet, thoughts?
     
  3. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT....................THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT
     
  4. HooHoo

    HooHoo Well-Known Member

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    The seven foot gork patting himself on the back for co-opting the dry vagina joke that Joan was spamming on every talkshow appearance for about a two week period.

    God forbid he ever says anything original, but then you can always tell when Howard is trying to make his own joke instead of stealing someone else's lines because its pointless and goes nowhere:

    Robin: "Everyone was wearing black but a few people wore white"
    Howard: "Hoda was wearing blue!"
    Robin: "What does that mean"
    Howard: "I don't know."
     
  5. Wainegro

    Wainegro Well-Known Member

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  6. Laika

    Laika Well-Known Member

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    Hey, Stern68, say hello to Leslie Z. How is she treating you?
     
  7. SomerSky

    SomerSky Obsessed with what I hate Banned User

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    Hmmmmm....makes me wonder how much of it is attributable to Louis CK......
     
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  8. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    Pre Joan Rivers Memorial Services Telephone Conversation:

    HS: "Melissa, I'm sorry I had to say I was Carrottop for you to take my 12th call to you, but you weren't answering my messages and this is important."

    MR: "Howard, what do you want, I'm busy burying my mom and we can talk a few weeks after the funeral?"

    HS: "Melissa, your mom told me she wanted me to do the eulogy and it would be a disservice to her if I didn't. I've already got one prepared that hits it out of the park."

    MR: "You gotta be kidding me, right? The Temple Emmanual service is already planned, the people actually important to my mother, or who she's said she admired professionally lined up to speak or perform. As a matter of fact, the program has already been printed. So that would be a no go, and frankly inappropriate. I think aside from those already designated, she'd prefer to have Giuliana Rancic do her eulogy over you!" But I'd be happy to come on the show and reminisce over her once things settle down. As a matter of fact, the more I think of it, it would be a good idea."

    HS: (pause) "Wow, Melissa, you ummmm, took the words right out of my mouth. You know Joan was a favorite guest and we were planning on having her appear at least 5 times in the next 3 months. What if we slot you into those openings to discuss your mom and as importantly, promote your impressive professional credentials as a stand-alone entertainer. Of course, since we need to tie this into me as well as your mom to keep my devoted fans engaged, I'm pretty sure my news-worthy eulogy which I spent an hour preparing (about 40 minutes more than I do for my average show) will be the talk of the town and honor your mom in the way she deserves to be remembered. It's a natural way to continue discussing your career, reminisce about your mom and use my eulogy to remind everyone what a great entertainer and person she was!"

    MR: "Howard, I agree, I will bump a few less important life-long friends and make you the "Surprise Celebrity Eulogizer" Get there early and make sure to walk around the block so all the paparazzi can record your important contribution to the proceedings."
     
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  9. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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    The author applied the tongue to the base of Howard's balls and proceeded to deep scrub through the man taint with a quick nutty dip into the anus and then finished with a salty sweaty swipe up the crack.
     
  10. tv910

    tv910 Well-Known Member

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    It's funny people are acting surprised the eulogy was "raunchy', what other kind of humor is Howard capable of? He relies on off-color material to get laughs and his whole career is based on it. Wiggy isn't talented, intelligent, or witty enough to be entertaining on his own and anything more sophisticated than dick or fart jokes goes way over his head and has to be explained to him.
     
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  11. kicksave7

    kicksave7 Well-Known Member

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    Not sure what's worse...the incessant swooning over Howard's unoriginal "eulogy" or the non stop fawning over Rivers and her career. Let's not forget she said the three women who were held captive in Cleveland for ten years in a house by that psychopath were lucky because they didn't have to pay rent or utilities for ten years. What a compassionate person.
     
  12. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    She was funny. Honestly? I care not for whether she's dead or alive. Hmus is upset because now he's got to double up on David Arquette appearances and he might start asking for money.
     
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  13. Mr Vengeance

    Mr Vengeance Ladies love cool V. VIP

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    Why why WHY, couldn't it have been Stern68's eulogy????????
     
  14. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    Breaking news. .. an airplane has just hit the world trade center
     
  15. Robert Higgins

    Robert Higgins Well-Known Member VIP

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    you are so fucking stupid.

    Your hero stole the joke verbatim from Joan herself. 1:45 of this clip

     
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  16. 2 2 Toothie

    2 2 Toothie Well-Known Member

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    and Jimmy Kimmel. He called him too.
     
  17. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Howard Stern is what lame people who hated him 25 years ago cite in the mistaken belief that this will make them seem "edgy" and "hip".

    It's like John Davidson trying to sing rock and roll songs.
    [​IMG]
     
  18. ZevonFan

    ZevonFan VIP Extreme Gold

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    He never could have put a eulogy together. He has never been original. Long ago, I thought it was actually Howchie who was funny. Now I know he thinks nothing is funny unless HE is saying it. Of course he is repeating something written by someone else. Nice job Louie C K. :sleep:
     
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  19. Omen

    Omen Well-Known Member

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    When you open up by saying "Joan Rivers said .......", you can hardly be "stealing"
    The whole point was that Joan was self-defacing

    :facepalm:

    There is so much to attack him on. Giving the eulogy to a friend that she & her daughter wanted (Melissa asked him & she approved the eulogy) is not one.

    Now that hair ............... that chin .................. :beer:
     
  20. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    One vote. ONE frigging vote. If not for that one vote you'd be gone. Alas! :facepalm:
     
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