Guy Dumped By His Girlfriend Shares Heartbreak On Reddit Post…Play By Play...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by teehee, Jul 19, 2015.

  1. teehee

    teehee Friend Of The Friendless VIP

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    :eek::eek:
    Dumped man's bizarre Reddit post shows he REALLY can't handle break-up with his girlfriend
    In a lengthy and bizarre post, the man shares his tears, vomiting and even defecating :eek::eek::eek::eek:after being told the news:boohoo:
    • [​IMG]
    Tears: Breaking up is never easy, but this man really, REALLY struggled to cope:boohoo:
    Breaking up is never easy - but this man is REALLY struggling to come to terms with his new relationship status.

    Posting on Reddit under the username Moggle_party, the man starts the lengthy post telling users: "Tonight my girlfriend broke up with me."

    He was told the news via text :boohoo:while hanging out with pals at an internet cafe, and decided to rush home to deal with the situation.

    The 23-year-old wrote: "Against all the odds I make it to the bus stop without crying. But the bus isn’t coming for ages.

    "I'm pacing up and down checking and re checking my phone. Re reading the msg getting depressed all over again."

    After getting on board, he describes getting into an argument with the bus driver before planning to head home, get changed, and then go for a run.



    [​IMG]
    Reddit: The post has made users laugh, cry and scratch their heads


    But, as the post gets increasingly bizarre, he hits a problem when he gets home.

    "I need to s***. Like really need to s***. I pause at the door think about risking it. I do not risk it.:(

    "I nearly s*** myself. Bathroom door flies open, I fly onto the seat and thankfully don’t s*** on myself.":(

    "I start crying. Like really f****** crying. I have never cried like this before. All the while this torrent of tears was coupled with what I can only describe as some of the most explosive s****** I have ever produced.

    "Probably would have been one of the funniest things I’ve ever done and If I wasn’t sobbing like the world was ending I probably would of laughed."

    But that isn't all.

    As the surreal post, which is a whopping 1,080 words long, draws to a conclusion, he then describes in detail how he began projectile vomiting.

    "It’s acidic, it burns, it kickstarts the tears again and it just keeps going! Are you f****** kidding me body?

    "I vomit up the past months food.":eek::eek::eek:

    His misery was not yet over however.

    "I just walk home. Stepped in dog s*** on the way back, because you know, have to keep the misery as high as possible.

    "And now I’m here sobbing silently onto my keyboard."

    Since the post was uploaded, hundreds of users have shared their thoughts and lent the man support.

    One stunned user simply commented: "This is beautiful."o_O
     
  2. Limo Wreck

    Limo Wreck Aboard the great mothership Staff Member

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    :artiejj:

    Hes a looooser.



    Two puerto ricans are fucking him in the ass after selling him ecstasy at double the price.
     
  3. Tipsey Russell

    Tipsey Russell VIP Extreme Gold

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    when he's 45 he's gonna look back on this nonsense and realize he was a fucking pussy and deserved to be dumped by the bitch

    my wife could leave and i'd probably not notice for a couple days--now that's probably a sign i'm a little less involved than I should be

    but I ain't no fag like this homo is
     
  4. johnfreeman1

    johnfreeman1 Well-Known Member

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  5. rockstarhair

    rockstarhair Well-Known Member

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    Hey Moggle_party, here is some advice:
    -open another tab on browser
    -go to pornhub
    -remove penis from pants
    -masturbate
    -repeat often
    You'll get over it.
     
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  6. Pickle Jar

    Pickle Jar Well-Known Member

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    Wash your pussy faggot
     
    Slow likes this.
  7. pickles3000

    pickles3000 Well-Known Member Banned User

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    [​IMG]
     
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  8. John Coktoaston

    John Coktoaston Well-Known Member

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    That's what happens when you only spend 8500 on a ring :cash:
     
  9. Turtle Man

    Turtle Man Hello Darling Gold

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    I always thought new pussy was the cure... I guess these days it's wacking off to porn lol
     
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  10. Rescued Owl

    Rescued Owl VIP Extreme Gold

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    I wonder if it was a 6 hour phone call that caused the break up ?
     

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  11. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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    sounds like he suffered a great loss
     
  12. TheMercenary

    TheMercenary Collecting Light Gold

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    I hope that he demanded his account be deleted and logged back in frequently to post and check.

    That's protocol.
     
  13. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    I'm sure there's a cute guy out there for him.
     
    TheWonk, babybear, smichal and 2 others like this.
  14. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

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    :rs:
     
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  15. killallposers

    killallposers VIP Extreme Gold

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    Goddammit. I never get to these threads before someone already does a callback on the ring.
     
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  16. Snotty

    Snotty My Snothand be strong!!! VIP Gold

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    "I made it to the bus stop"........................I'd have dumped him to sister................
     
  17. Turtle Man

    Turtle Man Hello Darling Gold

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    Generation girlie man
     
  18. RONNIE THE CLAW

    RONNIE THE CLAW Well-Known Member VIP

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    ...and this is presented lest anyone still ponder the reality of the mind-body connection!
     
  19. Blazing Buffalo

    Blazing Buffalo Members Only

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    He's not setting up a sting operation with his brother, installing cameras all over her house and hiring a PI to see if she's cheating on him?
     
  20. isabella

    isabella VIP Extreme Gold

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    i think his biggest problem is having to take a bus.
     
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