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Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Jon Hein is God, Dec 25, 2012.
Not a real holiday
Every holiday is made up at some point.
agree with above. They are all Hallmark inventions to sell bullshit greeting cards. Want to wish me a Happy Birthday...suck my cock.
True, but antiquity is usual a factor when it comes to national recognition. When Passover was accepted as a recognized holiday, less than 1% of Americans were Jews. But there was an undeniable tradition.
There were more people who waited in line to see Star Wars Episode 1 than there are people who celebrate Kwanzaa. But if Somebody proposed that Episode Wunday become a recognized holiday, you'd likely laugh at the proposition.
We're going to party, Kwanzaa, fiesta, forever.
How come Kwanza Claus always has a litlte bit of vomit in his beard and Courvossier on his breath?
It's in the same vain as my parents used to tell me when I asked why there was a father and mothers day but no kids day. "Every day is kids day" so goes Kwanzaa in my book.
"Here comes Kwanzaa clause here comes Kwanzaa clause right down Kwanzaa clause lane"
And Whitey's on the moon.
The Twelve Days of Kwanza
"The Twelve Days of Kwanza"
By SHIRLEY Q. LIQUOR
On the first day of Kwanzaa...
my childrens axed me, "mamm, what is Kwanzaa for, anyway?"
On the second day of Kwanzaa...
some lady bothered me. I cursed her out and I say "no, I don't wan't no Olan
Mills pictures and quit calling here!"
On the third day of Kwanzaa...
I went out to the store. I needed beer and cigarets but they was closed, so
I smashed out the windows, did a drive-by and cursed em all out.
On the fourth day of Kwanzaa...
I turned on the t.v. Young and the Restless, All of My Children, One Day to
Live, and then "Oprah" at 4 o'clock.
On the fifth day of Kwanzaa...
My check came in the mail. AFDC! "Thank you Lord" I said, "come on kids,
let's go to the store for some collard greens, hamhocks and some cheese."
On the sixth day of Kwanzaa...
the police rang the bell. They served a warrant, I nearly passed out! But it
wa ok, som woman had said I stole her wigs, but I told em all I was gonna
give em back anyway.
On the seventh day of Kwanzaa...
I poured myself a drink. I drank 40 ounces, got really full then lost my
mind. I drove down the street cursing out everyone I saw. Then I bashed the
Cadilac upside a Dairy Queen.
On the eighth day of Kwanzaa...
I bought a TV Guide... not much had happened. I was hungover from a bad
headache from Schiltz Malt Liquor Bull. I tried to stay home and be quiet,
take my nerve pills... you can just feel Kwanzaa in the air.
On the nineth day of Kwanzaa...
I painted all my nails. Two shades of purple, one shade of turquoise,
throwed on some glitter, did em up real nice... I had looked good! Then I
drove on down to Popeye's, bought me some chicken and I stayed home and
looked at t.v.
On the tenth day of Kwanzaa...
Shoplifting was the thing. 10 Now or Laters, 9 little candies, 8 cans of
tuna fish, 7 little niknaks, 6 pack of Budweiser, 5 Lee Press-On Nails, 4
pieces of gum, 3 large fries, 2 days back in jail... it was Kwanzaa, so what
On the eleventh day of Kwanzaa...
I got out on parole. I rolled a big joint, went down to church and talked
all out of my head. Got happy and shouted, passed out and hollered. They
called 911 and the Lord set me free! Gave my testimony, stepped on home,
didn't even remember where I stayed, I woke up real hungry and confused.
On the twelfth day of Kwanzaa...
My childrens gathered around me. Lincoln, Alow vera, Gyne-Lotrimin,
LemonJello, OrangeJello, Tinactin, Tempasia, KMartina, Fallopia, Shi'Thead,
Shameka-Vonquishia, Salmonella, Chlamydia Champagne, Democtorius, Saskatoon,
Cheeto and Skuketia...
And it had really started to feel more like it was getting near Kwanzaa
Lulz at the marriage of nig nogs and jewry . What a clusterfuck...or as I like to call it, "affirmative action".
its real- real fake.
"On December 24, 1971, the New York Times ran one of the first of many articles on a new "holiday" designed to foster unity among African Americans. The holiday, called Kwanzaa, was applauded by a certain sixteen-year-old minister who explained that the feast would perform the valuable service of “de-whitizing” Christmas. The minister was a nobody at the time but he would later go on to become perhaps the premier race-baiter of the twentieth century. His name was Al Sharpton and he would later spawn the Tawana Brawley hoax and then incite anti-Jewish tensions in a 1995 incident that ended with the arson deaths of seven people."
read more here: http://patdollard.com/2011/12/kwanz...premacist-obama-issues-statement-praising-it/
"What's YOUR favorite color Tyrone?"
"BLACK...CUZ BLACK is BEAUTIFUL!"