Has anyone ever tried acupuncture?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Lucky Pierre, May 13, 2012.

  1. Lucky Pierre

    Lucky Pierre Well-Known Member

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    I'm thinking of trying it, seriously. I'm going to start with insomnia then move on to a few others.


    This is what it cures:

    [TABLE]
    [TR]
    [TD]Our specific areas and treatments
    • Muscular-skeletal

      Pain management, neck, shoulder, low back, knee, heel pain, tennis elbow, carpal turned sciatica, tendinitis, bursitis, disc, ligament, meniscus problem, nerve injury, fracture recovery, dislocation of children radius head.

    • Internal

      Cold, fever, asthma, pneumonia, COPD, headache, insomnia, amnesia, dizziness, nausea, breathing problem, congestion, coronary heart disease, stroke, hypertension, stress, anxiety, depression, hiccup, stomachache, abdominal pain, diarrhea, constipation, urinary.

    • Female conditions

      Pms, infertility, uterus, morning sick, period problem.

    • Male conditions

      Impotency, seminal emission, prostate.




    [/TD]
    [TD]
    • Pediatric

      Cough, night crying, infantile malnutrition, cerebral palsy, hyperkinetic syndrome, torticollis.

    • Eyes, ear, nose and throat

      Sinus, sorethorat, naphtha, ptosis to the eyelid, blurringof vision, chorinc conjunctivitis, bells palsy (facial palsy), facial spasm.

    • Dermatology

      Rash, itclcing, shingles.

    • Other

      Stop smoking, addiction, weight loss, cosmetic and balance, preventive treatment, analgesia after operation, cancer, Parkinson's, myasthenia


    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]
     
  2. Lucky Pierre

    Lucky Pierre Well-Known Member

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  3. idiotbox

    idiotbox Looking for a dime and found a quarter. VIP

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    [​IMG]

    pretty sure i did it wrong though.
     
  4. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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    wow 5 shit thread
     
  5. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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  6. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    no, but a prostate massage will make you shoot ropes

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    accupuncture is legit. nih study showed it was better than narcotic pain medication for chronic back pain. pill heads all over america cried themselfs to sleep the day that study was published, but were happy as fuck the next day when they realized that no md's would ever pay attention to the study because all they know how to do is push pills.
     
  8. beatlejaws

    beatlejaws nowhere poster

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    didn't think it was possible
     
  9. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    dude in harlem tried to cure my backache. he used a buck knife and stabbed my arm. worked too cause the pain in my back vanished when i saw the blood, so yes acupuncture works!
     
  10. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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    OMg your post was so funny

    teee heeee heeeee heeee
     
  11. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    :lol: it's funny because it's not true. :jj:

    raped!
     
  12. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    how do you know its not true? was that you with the knife? i'm not giving it back.
     
  13. idiotbox

    idiotbox Looking for a dime and found a quarter. VIP

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    i like to acupuncture girls in their booty holes.
     
  14. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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    You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later.:pissed:
     
  15. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    [​IMG]
     
  16. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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    me too with my tongue :c
     
  17. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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    Wow you are a pretty shitty poster
     
  18. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

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    heroin needles are a form of acupuncture, and it worked wonderfully
     
  19. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    oh i am just devastated! what wit! what a sharp retort! how can i ever compete with your intellect? i don't think i can go on! you sure told me. maybe i can get someone to mentor me. i wonder if schmoopy is available?

    don't let me keep you: it must be time for your next trick and you obviously need the buck.
     
  20. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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    You can't and you should drop the smart Mr Clutch shtick