Have you ever been caught..................

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Bristol Chicken, Jun 7, 2015.

  1. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    masturbating?

    [​IMG]

    I can't remember ever being caught 'red' handed, but..................

    I remember when I discovered my special purpose around 12 years old I used to lay in the bathtub and 'pound' the water, (how's that for a visual). I mean I was making waves and it must have sounded like 50 beaver tails slapping the mud.
    This would go on for hours. My mom must have known. How could she not. I do recall hearing my mom one time telling me through the bathroom door to hurry up followed by some muffled laughter. I have my own kids now so I can laugh to.

    What's your story?

    (Stern related because, well.......... because he's a jack off)
     
  2. max rockatansky

    max rockatansky I'm just here for the gasoline Gold

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    I have never been caught. My friend likes to tell the story about the time he caught his roommate. His roommate was the type to eat all the food and play video games all day. My fiend comes home to find dude past out on the couch. Past out completely nude on the couch. Past out completely nude with a soiled "beat-off bib" on the couch. So apparently the roommate like to preemptively catch some of the aftermath by tearing the corner off of a napkin, unfolding it and putting his cock through the hole creating a "bib" to beat-off into. My friend purposely mad a lot of racket to wake the guy up from his post event nap. Dude comes around but is pretty groggy so my friend starts up a conversation with him. Eventually dude become coherent enough to realize the situation he is in and grabs the nearest empty Doritos bag to cover himself. My friend said he got his half of the rent on time that month.
     
  3. Calloused Shins

    Calloused Shins Well-Known Member

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    Often... It's a whole thing...
     
  4. A. Genius

    A. Genius Well-Known Member Banned User

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    I was just adjusting my underwear. I swear.
     
  5. Winst

    Winst Well-Known Member VIP

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    I have been caught.
    ...and I have been punished.



    [​IMG]
     
  6. Dan

    Dan Do you like my car?

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    This happened with a friend of mine. I came into the room and the dude clearly had his hand in his underwear. He was caught, and it was gross and uncomfortable. He could have played it two ways... He chose to keep it there and act like nothing was amiss. We never talked about it.
     
  7. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

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    I've never been caught, that I know of:dontknow:
    But, I've caught hubby a couple times :giggle:

    I gotta say, it was major turn-on...suffice to say, he had more than a little help finishing....
     
  8. pickles3000

    pickles3000 Well-Known Member Banned User

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  9. Gretsch Man

    Gretsch Man Well-Known Member

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    Good girl.
     
  10. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh I got a head that's large Gold

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    I've been pretty discreet with locked doors and such, but my
    friend's brother is kinda slow, is 35 and still lives at his parent's
    house.

    The guy watches porn at full blast in his bedroom and
    living room.

    You could hear the shit just walking up the driveway.

    When he was younger, he'd sit on the couch covered in a
    thick blanket at night even in hot ass weather.

    We nicknamed him, "The Midnight Stroker."

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Pothead

    Pothead Well-Known Member

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    No....never....why? Did you hear something? From who? That's bullshit.
     
  12. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    That seems to be the theme for most stories of this nature - everyone pretends that nothing was going on and it is never discussed.
     
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  13. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    Your husband married quite well.
    (my guess is he probably wanted to get caught)
     
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  14. zutroy

    zutroy Totally nude. Totally flawless.

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    I ripped out the ladies underpants section of a catalog and hid it in my room. One night I was jacking to it and had the door closed with the light on. I finished and fell asleep with my pants down. When I woke up the light was off, the door was open and I was covered by a sheet. Ultra passive aggressive move; it was never brought up.
     
  15. Samurai

    Samurai Well-Known Member VIP

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    Yep, when I was a teen I was in my room supposedly doing bench presses. Mom walked in with clean laundry to see me on the bench "roughing up the suspect." I quickly pulled my shorts up, but it was obvious. She didn't say anything (normally she's very chatty), dropped my laundry on the dresser and walked out. In the following 30 years it has never been discussed.

    If I ever write a comedy movie, that's definitely going to be a scene. Yes, comedy for any of you sick porn fucks. My mom was never hot.

    My wife has caught me at least three times. She just rolls her eyes, chuckles and walks out of the room.
     
  16. Woof

    Woof Liver Shots? VIP

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    No....................So I must be good at it...:bounce:

    Got told an anecdotal story of a guy at a party where he was trying with a girl,he didn't turn her off but wasn't getting anywhere with her either and left her.
    Went to the bathroom and decided to get the poison out.Same girl went as well to bathroom and open the door,because he didn't lock it,she caught him out....and instead of reacting embarrassed, he kept going at speed.
     
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  17. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    Oh I'm sure mommy just didn't want her little boy getting cold at night................................or she covered you in disgust.
    Of course never brought up, never discussed.
     
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  18. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    You should introduce your wife to @IfTheyOnlyKnew.
     
  19. zutroy

    zutroy Totally nude. Totally flawless.

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    I never said it was my mom. You're making me nervous.
     
  20. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    Right, I just assumed. Any sisters?
     
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