Have you ever masturbated at work?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by GaryPuppet, Feb 16, 2013.

  1. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    If so, what were the circumstances?

    And was it as enjoyable as when you do it at home?
     
  2. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    lol you are so deranged. and no.
     
  3. boomer1976

    boomer1976 Well-Known Member VIP

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    On a ship for 4 weeks. What do you think?!!!!!
     
  4. HorsetoothBeth

    HorsetoothBeth Well-Known Member

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    I've wanted to.
     
  5. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    I work in an office, so...uh...no.
     
  6. Brokenbad

    Brokenbad Well-Known Member

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    Howard invented masturbating at work.
     
  7. Dead Air Dave

    Dead Air Dave Well-Known Member

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    Hahaha great thread
     
  8. RockoBalbono

    RockoBalbono Member

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    Yeah but I never took my dick out and stroked it. You wear loose pants like khakis and rub it on your leg. Wear longer underwear too.
     
  9. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    Good tip! Never thought about that before.
    See? You learn something new every day.
     
  10. RockoBalbono

    RockoBalbono Member

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    Exactly! Depends on where you work too. I work in a cubicle way in the back so I can get away with it. Takes a little getting used to but your just doing it for a quickie not like a long leisurely wank session.
     
  11. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    And you ejaculate? :eek: Wearing khakis? You've got to be kidding me.
     
  12. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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  13. RockoBalbono

    RockoBalbono Member

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    Sure with khakis, jeans, suit pants! It's not like everyday but just when I'm in the mood.

    But notice that pic Gary, thats bullshit and fake I think. If he creamed his jeans the wet spot would be where that fold is not on the thick zipper part. Is his pubes longer than his wang? Fakeass stern bit that is.
     
  14. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    It could also just be the natural discoloration of the denim. That part of the denim is thicker and probably takes longer to fade. Just a guess.
     
  15. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    BTW, if you use proactiv, make sure your hands are washed (with soap) before you touch your clothing or your clothing comes in contact with your face (shirts). It bleaches the color out of the fabric.

    I've ruined about 9 dress shirts and two pairs of jeans (the pocket area, where I put my hands).

    Motherfuckers! :pissed:
     
  16. telecaster

    telecaster Get Yer Ya Ya's Out

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    I had phone sex with a girlfriend in the office of a bar/restaurant I worked in (I had sex with the same girl in there as well, what a sport). I had the door locked but also it really wasn't that big of a deal because I could see the entire place with the security camera monitors from inside there. I remember I blew my load into a handful of paper towels and threw them away right when the UPS guy game through the back door.
     
  17. jake206

    jake206 Well-Known Member

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    Sure did, when I was much younger and worked, by myself, in an office all night. At least I was classy and would go in the bathroom to do it. I also would bang my girlfriend at the office too.
     
  18. lilbuddy67

    lilbuddy67 A man with breath-taking anger management issues Banned User

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    Dear Penthouse:
    I was working as a busboy when I was 15. There were a lot of hot waitresses, all of whom were friends with my sister. They were probably 21-23 years old.One girl smelled particularly good that day. I was standing by the back, next to the bathrooms where I would wait until I saw plates that needed to be taken away. This girl goes on break and sits at the employee booth. She grabbed a newspaper to read and sat in the booth in a sideways-type of position with her right leg folded and on top of the seat. I had a clear shot of her panty-less pantyhosed muff. And because she was reading the paper, she had no idea I was staring at the golden puddy. My bad checkered pants began to rise and I made a quick turn into the single use bathroom, gave myself a dishonorable discharge, washed my hands and made it back out in under 3 minutes. It was magical. Today, even though she is 50, she is very bangable.
    The End.
     
  19. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    Dear Doctor:
    I have a somewhat irrational fear of public bathroom stalls after learning the frequency with which dudes beat off in them. Please help
    --FlaFlaFlunkie
     
  20. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    Beth suggested you hire a bathroom behaviorist.