Here's how big a loser I am

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by gwartney, Sep 30, 2016.

  1. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    I got a call from my wife this morning (I am in Philly). Her car wouldn't start. It's really my car but she has taken possession of it since I'm gone all the time. She had to take the other car, to work. No big deal. Let the other one sit until I get home.

    I get a call tonight. She wants to jump the other car because she doesn't like the car she had to drive. Keep in mind that she drove this car for 5 years with no problem. Now she doesn't like it. She knows nothing about how to jump a car. I had to tell her where the jumper cables are stored. I then had to walk her through opening the hoods on both cars. She had no problem locating the battery on one car but it was a real task to find the other battery. Then I described what to do. I told her 10 times not to let the clamps touch anything metal or each other. We exchanged several photos so I could make sure everything looked right. I had her connect red on both cars, then I had her connect black on both cars. I didn't think she could handle finding a piece of the frame to ground to so I just had her connect the black posts. This was a fucking ordeal.

    Finally, they are connected. She started the "good" car and then tried to start the other one. Click Click. We waited and tried again. No dice. Well, she tried. She's going to have to drive the car she doesn't like. She disconnected the jumper cables and, according to her, shut the other car off. For unexplained reasons, she then tried to start it again. The good car was dead. No lights, no nothing. I immediately thought she blew the main fuse, which is bolted to the car. Then I realized that it was running until she shut it off so the fuse shouldn't be blown. I now have two dead cars and she has nothing to drive. I had begged her to just have the car towed to a garage but she wouldn't hear of it and wanted to jump it now she's fucked.

    I just got another call. My daughter came over and got the one she wanted to drive started. I told them not to shut it off and go straight to autozone. This description doesn't even come close to the pain and suffering I've been through tonight. I still have a dead car but if they get one fixed, I will be able to go drink myself to oblivion.
     
  2. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP Gold

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  3. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    I expected sympathy from you. :fil:
     
  4. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP Gold

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    You don't have AAA, FFS???

    See what I did there??? :c
     
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  5. goldtopper

    goldtopper Well Known Heterosexual Gold

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    You aren't a loser, you did what you could to help your family.
     
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  6. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  7. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    I have never joined that or paid for that option on my insurance, figuring the money I saved would pay for any towing bill. I think I'm going to join AAA, FFS.
     
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  8. P-B

    P-B Honourary Canuck Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  9. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    Member since 1987 :etm:
     
  10. Babs

    Babs Well-Known Member

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    :wtf:
    Jumping a car off is not rocket surgery.
    Tell her to watch some youtubes.
     
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  11. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    You missed a golden opportunity to start life over my friend.
     
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  12. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    I'm pretty sure she crossed the pos and neg. One car has both posts very clearly red and black. The other car has a big red cover she had to remove to get to it. I'd bet a thousand dollars she still got it wrong.
     
  13. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    Instead, I just wanted the sweet relief of death.
     
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  14. Rufus

    Rufus Well-Known Member VIP

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    What kind of cars are these?

    Mercedes and a BMW or a VW and a Kia?
     
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  15. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP Gold

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    :jj:

    It's a little silly to pay for it for the first few years you own a new car, but after that it makes sense.

    I think it's like $50 here in NJ and if you have to get towed anywhere more than a few miles here, it's gonna run you at least a hundy. AT LEAST.

    It's way worth the peace of mind even if you never use it. That's my 2 cents, anyhoo :D
     
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  16. Babs

    Babs Well-Known Member

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    :jj:
     
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  17. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    No. Ford and Caddy.
     
  18. Babs

    Babs Well-Known Member

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    :ral:
    She now drives the caddy.
     
  19. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP Gold

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    I love you to death, @Babs , but "jumping a car off" sounds like a really fucking girly thing to say :jj:
     
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  20. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    That's the one she took from me. If she doesn't want the other one, I'm getting rid of it and buying a pickup.