how can I legally pull together $10,000?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Sep 10, 2015.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Proud Schtick POTY 2016 Gold

    Reputations:
    116,881
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    10,566
    Likes Received:
    19,040
    My house, the money out, has acted up and I've racked up $10k in bills. I don't want to pull out of my IRA because I'd get punished on taxes.
    How can I legally pull together some funds? Short term investment? Low interest loan? I'd hate to sell my Harley, but I don't want to go into debt.
    Any creative ideas? (I can make my own prostitution jukes, so no need)
     
  2. artful dodger

    artful dodger Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    11,979
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2012
    Messages:
    3,214
    Likes Received:
    2,819
    sell your harley
     
    Kilroy, Dlist, Droog and 6 others like this.
  3. Mulletude

    Mulletude I'm Big In The Hate Club, Ya Know VIP

    Reputations:
    204,136
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    6,088
    Likes Received:
    15,355
    Sell a kidney.
     
  4. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    132,500
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2010
    Messages:
    44,521
    Likes Received:
    24,206
    Be a gay cam whore
     
    Dlist, tsn8638, Chicken Soda and 5 others like this.
  5. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc

    Reputations:
    405,728
    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2014
    Messages:
    16,416
    Likes Received:
    53,470
    This.
     
    Mulletude likes this.
  6. ltd86

    ltd86 Racist Banned User

    Reputations:
    168,581
    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2013
    Messages:
    36,004
    Likes Received:
    35,131
    put $300 on 15 on the roulette wheel
     
  7. cg256

    cg256 Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    87,815
    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2013
    Messages:
    5,979
    Likes Received:
    11,805
  8. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    379,478
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2012
    Messages:
    55,631
    Likes Received:
    61,910
    sell your bike.. u can always buy another one
     
  9. kippy

    kippy Not Safe For Women VIP

    Reputations:
    55,283
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    2,997
    Likes Received:
    3,239
    Beg for money on gofundme. Seemed to work for Vashier
     
  10. Night Ape

    Night Ape VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    55,192
    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2012
    Messages:
    5,016
    Likes Received:
    8,588
    Start a Kickstarter or GoFundMe? People donate to the stupidest shit, like that Potato Salad guy. Sometimes just being honest works.
     
  11. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

    Reputations:
    114,974
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,086
    Likes Received:
    22,488
    Fuck your Harley on webcam. Howard's likely to pay top dollar. :dontknow:
     
  12. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

    Reputations:
    -170,966
    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2014
    Messages:
    30,572
    Likes Received:
    142,149
    I make 10 grand every single hand of blackjack I play.
     
  13. Robert Higgins

    Robert Higgins Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    86,309
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    13,177
    Likes Received:
    20,286
    you might consider taking out a loan against your 401k.

    It's not tax deferred anymore and won't get the return on the investment (because your contributions go to repay the loan instead of investing) but it could be a reasonable interest rate and ready source of cash.
     
  14. TonyJax

    TonyJax White Privilege Denied. VIP

    Reputations:
    134,903
    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2012
    Messages:
    26,753
    Likes Received:
    13,788
    Go to the bank and axe to draw it out like normal people
     
  15. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

    Reputations:
    565,559
    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2010
    Messages:
    122,702
    Likes Received:
    97,087
    Ask Howard, That's chump change to him.
     
  16. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    44,929
    Joined:
    May 1, 2015
    Messages:
    7,818
    Likes Received:
    10,979
    loc against house
     
  17. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

    Reputations:
    114,974
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,086
    Likes Received:
    22,488

    He already said no prostitution
     
  18. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

    Reputations:
    103,375
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    3,817
    Likes Received:
    15,248
    I'll go on family feud with you. :beer:
     
  19. FSFN

    FSFN Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    39,134
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    5,730
    Likes Received:
    10,148
    Let me guess, you always seem to have money for cigarettes and tattoos as well.
     
  20. Hamster

    Hamster Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    26,915
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2014
    Messages:
    1,782
    Likes Received:
    4,053
    Depending on your employer, a 401k loan could be an option. If there is no other way for you to get credit, this is pretty simple. There is little to no paperwork and you usually get the money in 48 hours.

    Again depending on your employer and the rules of the plan, you get up to 5 years to pay it back and they just take it out of your check. They don't ding you on taxes or penalty because it is a loan.....and you are paying it back to yourself. Sounds crazy that it's that hard to have access to your own money, but that's the way it is.

    Risks: you lose any compounding interest or large market gains that may occur over the time it takes you to pay it back. Also if you quit your job, depending on the plan, you might have to pay it back in full right away. If you don't, or if you just stop the repayments somehow, THEN they treat it as an early withdrawal and you get hit with tax and penalty.
     
    Asshat13 and max rockatansky like this.