how can I legally pull together $10,000?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Sep 10, 2015.

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  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge The "Fuckin' cockroach infestation!" Gold

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    My house, the money out, has acted up and I've racked up $10k in bills. I don't want to pull out of my IRA because I'd get punished on taxes.
    How can I legally pull together some funds? Short term investment? Low interest loan? I'd hate to sell my Harley, but I don't want to go into debt.
    Any creative ideas? (I can make my own prostitution jukes, so no need)
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #1
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  2. artful dodger

    artful dodger Well-Known Member

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    sell your harley
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #2
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  3. Mulletude

    Mulletude Hillbilly DeLuxe VIP

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    Sell a kidney.
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #3
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  4. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Be a gay cam whore
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #4
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  5. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger The REAL Nature Boy - Exec VP Larry, Inc

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    This.
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #5
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  6. ltd86

    ltd86 Racist Banned User

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    put $300 on 15 on the roulette wheel
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #6
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  7. cg256

    cg256 Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Sep 10, 2015 #7
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  8. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    sell your bike.. u can always buy another one
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #8
    Dlist, IfTheyOnlyKnew, A Succulent Chinese Meal and 1 other person like this.
  9. kippy

    kippy Not Safe For Women VIP

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    Beg for money on gofundme. Seemed to work for Vashier
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #9
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  10. Night Ape

    Night Ape Well-Known Member

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    Start a Kickstarter or GoFundMe? People donate to the stupidest shit, like that Potato Salad guy. Sometimes just being honest works.
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #10
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  11. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    Fuck your Harley on webcam. Howard's likely to pay top dollar. :dontknow:
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #11
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  12. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    I make 10 grand every single hand of blackjack I play.
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #12
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  13. Robert Higgins

    Robert Higgins Well-Known Member VIP

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    you might consider taking out a loan against your 401k.

    It's not tax deferred anymore and won't get the return on the investment (because your contributions go to repay the loan instead of investing) but it could be a reasonable interest rate and ready source of cash.
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #13
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  14. TonyJax

    TonyJax White Privilege Denied. VIP Gold

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    Go to the bank and axe to draw it out like normal people
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #14
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  15. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    Ask Howard, That's chump change to him.
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #15
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  16. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

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    loc against house
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #16
  17. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    He already said no prostitution
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #17
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  18. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

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    I'll go on family feud with you. :beer:
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #18
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  19. FSFN

    FSFN Well-Known Member

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    Let me guess, you always seem to have money for cigarettes and tattoos as well.
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #19
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  20. Hamster

    Hamster Well-Known Member

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    Depending on your employer, a 401k loan could be an option. If there is no other way for you to get credit, this is pretty simple. There is little to no paperwork and you usually get the money in 48 hours.

    Again depending on your employer and the rules of the plan, you get up to 5 years to pay it back and they just take it out of your check. They don't ding you on taxes or penalty because it is a loan.....and you are paying it back to yourself. Sounds crazy that it's that hard to have access to your own money, but that's the way it is.

    Risks: you lose any compounding interest or large market gains that may occur over the time it takes you to pay it back. Also if you quit your job, depending on the plan, you might have to pay it back in full right away. If you don't, or if you just stop the repayments somehow, THEN they treat it as an early withdrawal and you get hit with tax and penalty.
     
    Sep 10, 2015 #20
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