how come animals do not kill themselevs?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by SIPAWITZ, Jan 21, 2013.

  1. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    it doesn't happen
     
  2. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    pity post
     
  3. NipplesAndToes23

    NipplesAndToes23 Vice Regent to the Bar POTY VIP

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    Happens in Oakland, L.A., Detroit, Chicago, New York, Baltimore, Washington D.C., and New Orleans every night.
     
  4. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    lol

    thanks for the reply
     
  5. Boss Ono

    Boss Ono New Member Banned User

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    They can lick themselves.
     
  6. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth UP YOURS 2010 OG VIP

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    You can't
     
  7. Ron Decline

    Ron Decline New Member Banned User

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    lil paws can't pull trigger
     
  8. Dick Gozinya

    Dick Gozinya Active Member

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    Ever see a squirrel run in front of your car? That be suicide right there. Its well known. Ya know.
     
  9. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    They don't kill themselves because they aren't married.
     
  10. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

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    Suicide is "the act or an instance of taking one's own life voluntarily and intentionally," according to Merriam-Webster, and most experts don't believe animals are capable of such a deed. However, that's not to say animals do not, on occasion, die in mysterious ways that may appear to mimic suicide. If an aquatic animal extricates itself from its watery environs, for example, that can look an awful lot like suicide to the untrained eye.
    But experts tend to attribute such strandings to factors like sickness, injury, old age or loss of navigation. Beached whales might have followed prey too closely to shore, ventured into dangerously shallow waters to avoid predators or accompanied at-risk pod members and found themselves beached as well.
    Another noted phenomenon is self-injurious behavior (SIB). The exact causes of SIB are unknown and likely vary from case to case, but potential factors include stress, isolation, fear, disease, malnutrition and boredom. Birds, for example, might pull out some or all of their feathers, sometimes completely denuding themselves before proceeding to peck at their flesh. Primates may bite themselves, and dogs and cats might practice excessive licking.
    These actions are thought to produce calming sensations that help the animals cope with their situations, but they can be also be a threat to an animal's health depending on the severity. Usually the first step is to check for an underlying medical condition that could be fueling the behavior. From there, steps should be taken to remedy any additional factors that could be fanning the fire.
     
  11. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

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    My fingers are sore now.
     
  12. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

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    Haha!
     
  13. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter 2010 OG Gold

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    You've obviously never seen the yearly migration of wildebeest, zebra and antelope crossing the crocodile infested waters of the Grumenti River and the Mara River.


    [​IMG]
     
  14. Cheri

    Cheri Legend VIP

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    Animals lack the self awareness to want to kill themselves.
     
  15. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    Yeah, this. Them, and those fucking deer. Kamikazes, god damn it.
     
  16. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    My friend's dog chews at her paws. It's fucking gross.
     
  17. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP Gold

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    Suicide requires effort. Animals are opportunistic (as are humans) and do not unnecessarily expend effort to do something which happens anyway.
     
  18. Markijuano

    Markijuano Well-Known Member

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    Crows smash into our building all day. Very few ever die. Stupid crows
     
  19. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    Salmon swimming riverward into the mouths of Grizzlies and Eagles?

    the drive to perpetuate their kind is stronger than the likelihood of imminent death in the slavering maw of a starving bruin.
     
  20. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin One Man Four Banner Mafia 2010 OG POTY The Bar VIP Gold

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    Weak sauce. You can do better. Take a break, come back fresh and rethink this.







































































    :hole: