How did the Virgin Mary get pregnant?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Lucky Pierre, Dec 25, 2013.

  1. Lucky Pierre

    Lucky Pierre Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2012
    Messages:
    4,631
    Likes Received:
    2,760
    Assuming the story in the Bible is based on actual people, etc:

    - She was impregnated by the Holy Spirit.

    - She had a sexual relationship with a man other than Joseph and created this story as a cover to avoid the harsh social stigma that otherwise would certainly follow.

    - She did not actually have sex and wasn't lying about being a virgin, however she was fooling around with someone who got her pregnant via ejaculating on the outside of her and the semen was then rubbed or seeped in - what they call "splash conception".

    - She got raped by a Roman Soldier.

    Those are your choices.

    Choose wisely.



    1 in 200 mothers reports a "virgin" birth, study finds

    By Emily Alpert ReyesDecember 24, 2013, 10:00 a.m.

    Roughly one out of every 200 American women claim to have become pregnant as virgins, according to a recently published study. But scholars think that far from Bethlehem, something other than a miracle is afoot.

    Researchers from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill tracked how women answered questions on the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health. They found that a small fraction of women – 0.5% – reported getting pregnant before they started having sex.

    Women with “virgin pregnancy” were twice as likely as other pregnant women to have signed a chastity pledge, with more than 30% reporting they had done so. Their parents, in turn, were more likely to say they had trouble discussing sex or birth control with their children, the survey showed.

    http://www.latimes.com/science/scie...-study-20131223,0,3542250.story#ixzz2oV4G1HGk
     
  2. FatKidSullivan

    FatKidSullivan Smoking Cigars VIP

    Reputations:
    24,277
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    50,412
    Likes Received:
    20,082
    Bitches lie.
     
  3. Bubbleguts420

    Bubbleguts420 Well-Known Member 2010 OG

    Reputations:
    11,973
    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2010
    Messages:
    6,095
    Likes Received:
    5,534
    A good deep seeding by some swarthy dessert roamer.
     
  4. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    44,481
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    77,498
    Likes Received:
    52,291
    Sperm
     
  5. Nickthedick

    Nickthedick Absotutely

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Messages:
    5,503
    Likes Received:
    1,463
    I am pretty sure it had something to do with these...
    [​IMG]
     
  6. Gomez

    Gomez VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    14,871
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    24,331
    Likes Received:
    9,343
  7. Tommy

    Tommy New Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2013
    Messages:
    4,767
    Likes Received:
    7
    Book of Luke

    26In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, 27to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary.[SUP]l[/SUP] 28And coming to her, he said, “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.”[SUP]m[/SUP] 29But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. 30Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31[SUP]n[/SUP] Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. 32[SUP]o[/SUP] He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High,[SUP]*[/SUP] and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, 33and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”[SUP]p[/SUP] 34But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?”[SUP]*[/SUP] 35And the angel said to her in reply, “The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.[SUP]q[/SUP] 36And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived[SUP]*[/SUP] a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; 37for nothing will be impossible for God.”[SUP]r[/SUP] 38Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.
     
  8. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

    Reputations:
    3
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2010
    Messages:
    15,716
    Likes Received:
    170
    impregnated by a unicorn's horn shooting fairie dust
     
  9. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    69,546
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    78,609
    Likes Received:
    35,211
    you really think a married young man like joseph is going to be married with a young bride like mary and not have sex? the days are long, and the nights are short. there is no tv, and nothing else to do for 12 hours. jesus never said he was virgin born. that was added long after when the church felt the joseph - mary - jesus story needed similarity to the osirus - isis - horus egyptian savior god story so they plagiarized elements of it. the egyptians had similar thoughts when they were creating their mythology (where do you think the jews learned it?) so they plagiarized the same elements from the sumerians who really were virgin born because their god Bal was an ancient alien and grown in a birthing tank....
     
  10. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ Well-Known Member 2010 OG Gold

    Reputations:
    160,528
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    48,294
    Likes Received:
    49,487
    2th decay looked at her.
     
  11. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin One Man Four Banner Mafia 2010 OG POTY The Bar VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    50,916
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    116,731
    Likes Received:
    44,727
  12. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin One Man Four Banner Mafia 2010 OG POTY The Bar VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    50,916
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    116,731
    Likes Received:
    44,727
    They had an ebaby. :yay:
     
  13. yosemite sam

    yosemite sam Camel Jockey

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,339
    Likes Received:
    20,342
    nailed it
     
  14. Dream Theater

    Dream Theater DAWGS E-BULLY Squad 2010 OG Gold

    Reputations:
    146,983
    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2010
    Messages:
    33,693
    Likes Received:
    60,030
    That would cause a miscarriage not a pregnancy.
     
  15. NipplesAndToes23

    NipplesAndToes23 Former Vice Regent to the Bar POTY Gold

    Reputations:
    20,468
    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2010
    Messages:
    39,137
    Likes Received:
    27,636
    Perhaps banging a pregnant chick was on Joseph's bucket list.
     
  16. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Dawgshedwiaw@gmail.com VIP

    Reputations:
    261,793
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    63,209
    Likes Received:
    123,485
    Some other whore spit god's load into her cunt, or backsplash from anal.
     
  17. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~POTY the bar~ 2010 OG Gold

    Reputations:
    192,628
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2010
    Messages:
    82,371
    Likes Received:
    37,167
    Alien insemination. :grad:
     
  18. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~POTY the bar~ 2010 OG Gold

    Reputations:
    192,628
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2010
    Messages:
    82,371
    Likes Received:
    37,167
    Joseph was not young. He was much older than Mary.
     
  19. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Judas Gold

    Reputations:
    597,704
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2011
    Messages:
    218,366
    Likes Received:
    164,176
  20. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    69,546
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    78,609
    Likes Received:
    35,211
    he was young enough that he was still expected and obligated to father a large family.

    and Jesus couldn't have been their only child. He was of the line of David, royalty. Mary and Jacob was therefore also royalty. marriages were arranged by the community back then. Since jesus became an essene rabbi their family had to be cohanim (highest priest class, orthodoxy). no cohanim royal baby is born in an unsanctified manger. no cohanim would have one child and be respected in the community: joseph had to have a big family. today the avg for them is 10 kids; back in jesus' time if his first wife was incapable of bearing sufficient kids, he would have taken a second wife to keep up his end (just as moses and abraham had).

    as royalty joseph had a communal, cultural imperative and responsibility to fuck his dick off with his wife to make lots of kids.