How do you avoid the Nazi selling cookies known as the Girl Scouts?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by chapped, Jan 16, 2015.

  1. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    Fuck its Girl Scout Cookie season.... and I always hit the grocery store right before the weekend..

    Which means running the Girl Scout Cookie gauntlet....

    What is worse, like all good snipers they pick the best line of site of their pray at the entrance to the grocery store ..

    They have me dead to rights from the second I pull into the parking lot all the way into the store....

    'Would you like to buy some cookies?'.. say the cute little Nazi ...

    '...ummm sorry I don't have any cash on me, maybe on the way out' I say knowing that fucks me on the way out...

    'Okay thank you' say the smug cute little Hitlers in ponytails


    I then have to shop knowing that I now have find a way out of the store not occupied like 1941 Poland

    I know ... I will pretend to talk on my phone as I walk past them...fuck this is torture, I just came for some steaks and

    drinks, maybe a pack of hotdogs why would a grown man want to buy cookies anyway?

    okay I pay for my shit and get $10 cash back as a fall back plan.... here we go ..

    fuck I left my phone on the car charger.. I am doomed.. look for me keys

    I will pretend to look for me keys.. the automatic doors slide open... fuck my keys are in my hand and they see that..

    I've made eye contact.. I have made fucking eye contact...

    'would you like to buy some cookies??' the smug little SS say

    I am trapped...

    'Do you have any peanut butter?'

    I hand them my money and except the jailhouse shower gang rape..

    'thank you , have a nice day'

    smug little assholes..

    I do the walk of shame to my truck, and put the bags in the back get in and

    fuck I forgot the hotdogs!!




    '
     
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  2. Calloused Shins

    Calloused Shins Well-Known Member

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    Walk by them with two boy scouts under each arm, like john hein. That should creep them out
     
  3. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    I just tell them "no comprende Ingles."
     
  4. scoobyla

    scoobyla Well-Known Member

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    its impossible to say no.
    then i eat whole boxes at time and feel ill. im dumb
     
  5. rolltide

    rolltide Well-Known Member VIP

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    I had three younger sisters; that were all Girl Scouts......I have no problem saying NO
     
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  6. Samurai

    Samurai Well-Known Member VIP

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    Just lie and say you've already bought a whole bunch of them from your niece.
     
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  7. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    I'm more irritated by the Guatemalans dressed in all white from Ramalamadingdong Ministries setting up camp right in front of the no soliciting sign. They used to be silent. Now they know enough English to attempt to guilt ya.
     
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  8. markluke

    markluke Well-Known Member

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    Say "how old are you, little girl?" and do a Hannibal Lecter.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. playitagainfred

    playitagainfred Well-Known Member

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    i make a point of buying a bag of oreos so when they hit you walking out i can pull them out and say no i bought cookies already.
     
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  10. PI Nate

    PI Nate Disenfranchised since 1984... Gold

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    I dont avoid them, I buy some whenever I see them and give the cookies away...:coffee:
     
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  11. Weed

    Weed Well-Known Member

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    I had a couple of the neighbor kids ring my doorbell a couple of years ago and I ordered a few boxes. Then, they never delivered them. WTF? They showed up for trick or treat and I asked them where my cookies went. Their mother heard this and quickly came running up from the sidewalk apologizing profusely. I had a feeling that those kids dropped the ball on more than just me. Now I just buy them when the kids set up camp at Kroger. Instant gratification.
     
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  12. markluke

    markluke Well-Known Member

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    Was the mom hot? Did she offer you anal in lieu of the cookies?
     
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  13. RonHeinzkaboot

    RonHeinzkaboot Adultophile VIP

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    why would you want to avoid them.
     
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  14. RonHeinzkaboot

    RonHeinzkaboot Adultophile VIP

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    Those little girls were skimming. They are going to have a bright future in business or government.
     
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  15. captbill

    captbill Well-Known Member

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    Slightly off the subject: A few years ago my son in-law and I went to some store. There were some kids at the entrance trying to give away small puppies. When they asked me if I wanted one, I said to my son in-law, "When was the last time you fed the snake?" He said, "Three days ago." I told the kids, "no thank you, we didn't need one right now." My son in-law does NOT have a snake, but he is a quick thinker.
     
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  16. blindbella

    blindbella Well-Known Member

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    I just pretend I'm deaf. Or I put on my "don't fuck with me" face.
     
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  17. Sickboy

    Sickboy Latverian Monarch

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    [​IMG]
     
  18. Thikken Vaney

    Thikken Vaney What's everyone looking at?

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    Just say you only carry plastic.

    I buy them from my nieces anyway... enough is enough.
     
  19. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    just respond: "I'm a diabetic... are you fucking trying to kill me with that sugar overload?"
     
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  20. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    Not into cookies. . Call me weird