How Do You Guys Wipe Your A-Holes?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by mattzane227, Feb 15, 2013.

?

How Do You Wipe Your Ass?

  1. Just Toilet Paper

    31 vote(s)
    46.3%
  2. Baby Wipes

    1 vote(s)
    1.5%
  3. Toilet Paper & Baby Wipes

    26 vote(s)
    38.8%
  4. Other

    9 vote(s)
    13.4%
  1. mattzane227

    mattzane227 Active Member

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    I used to just do the regular toilet paper wipe until I heard Howard keep talking about how baby wipes are terrific. I have now incorporated the wipes and I'm wondering if anyone else has added them to their ass-wiping arsenal.

    When you think about it just using dry toilet paper is kind of gross. What if you god shit on your hand and just used dry toilet paper and wiped it off and went on with your day?
     
  2. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    Good old fashioned dry TP for me.
     
  3. booybob

    booybob Well-Known Member Banned User

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    I use your wife's tongue just before she kisses you.
     
  4. mattzane227

    mattzane227 Active Member

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    Improbable. You seem like a dry toilet paper wiper to me.
     
  5. Caster Fly

    Caster Fly New Member Banned User

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    The way all fancy people do, with a warm water bidet.
     
  6. schnauzer

    schnauzer Well-Known Member

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    WTF is 'other'?!
     
  7. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    howard uses baby wipes because he has ocd and used to rip up his ass trying to get clean with tp. that's how he got his anal fissure years ago.

    your ass evolved and is designed to handle the stuff that comes out of it so it is not intended to be sterilized between uses, and constantly doing so with soaps and alcoholic wipes actually damages the tissues by removing the natural skin oils. "clean" is clean enough. its bad for your health to be "sanitized for your protection" the way howard goes about it.
     
  8. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    in Howard's case other = sandpaper
     
  9. John

    John Member VIP

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    Toilet paper until there is no brown left then baby wipes for any remaining remnants.
     
  10. HatemanLives

    HatemanLives New Member Banned User

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    This shit is always so fascinating when it comes up on Stern. I'm thrilled there's a thread about it. OP, THANK YOU SO MUCH and please consider starting another thread: "Wipe Back to Front, or Front to Back?"










































































































































































    eat shit
     
  11. mattzane227

    mattzane227 Active Member

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    [​IMG]

    I'm guessing you're an other.
     
  12. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    Back to front. I have more control that way and can get a better dig to catch those pesky dingleberries that like to hide out.
     
  13. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    During his anal fissure days Howard would describe not only the way he wiped, but how he would jam his fingers up into his asshole to be sure he got every last bit out, and then he would complain about the pain..
     
  14. HatemanLives

    HatemanLives New Member Banned User

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    Probably a dildo fissure.
     
  15. skylarbrie

    skylarbrie VIP Extreme Gold

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    with dried grass or small furry creatures
     
  16. Caster Fly

    Caster Fly New Member Banned User

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    LOL, yup.

    It's the best, not only does it clean completely, if you get the water angle right, it's like an enema and you shit out the rest of the material that you smelly heathens carry around all day. :cheer:
     
  17. mattzane227

    mattzane227 Active Member

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    He still talks about the finger in the ass to ensure a proper wipe. Ronnie was talking about washing all the shit off his ass in the sink. That is quite the mental picture.
     
  18. mattzane227

    mattzane227 Active Member

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    lol smelly heathens. I don't know why bidets didn't catch on in the USA. I think they are pretty standard in a lot of other countries.
     
  19. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    he went on for days and weeks complaining. he finally went to a dr about it, who told him to stop tearing it open all the time, and gave him some steroid cream to apply. suddenly howard was unable to stick his fingers in there to apply the cream so he begged robin to do it, since she allegedly used to be a nurse in the armed services. i don't recall if she actually did it for him.
     
  20. telecaster

    telecaster Get Yer Ya Ya's Out

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    Wipe it until it bleeds.