News How to make a commitment to Satan

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Dec 11, 2015.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

    Reputations:
    69,323
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    8,061
    Likes Received:
    13,635
    In making a commitment, we engage a formal ritual. This is done out of free will. We are making a choice, as opposed to being dragged off to some Christian church, and reciting canned prayers (stolen and corrupted from Eastern mantras) in front of a bunch of idiots.

    With knowledge and research, we can prove beyond all doubt that the nazarene, "jehova" and ilk are all fictitious characters, stolen from and corrupted concepts to remove all spiritual knowledge so that a "chosen" few can rule the world using powers of the mind and soul. For further information, please visit www.exposingchristianity.com
    Because so many have been forcefully indoctrinated with these characters, and what they stand for (Enemies of Satan), we renounce them permanently in the dedication ritual. This proves to be psychologically healthy and liberating.

    The initiation ritual is very personal, unless you decide to have friends participate, or are doing it as part of a group.

    You will need:

    • 1 or more black, blue or red candles (as many as you like)
    • A sterilized needle or razor
    • A piece of clean paper, large enough to write the prayer below
    • A dry pen, where you sign your name in blood (dip the tip of the pen in your blood)
    Write the following prayer:



    Before the almighty and ineffable God Satan/Lucifer and in the presence of all Demons of Hell, who are the True and the Original gods, I, (state your full name) renounce any and all past allegiances. I renounce the false Judeo/Christian god Jehova, I renounce his vile and worthless son Jesus Christ, I renounce his foul, odious, and rotten holy spirit.

    I proclaim Satan Lucifer as my one and only God. I promise to recognize and honor him in all things, without reservation, desiring in return, his manifold assistance in the successful completion of my endeavors.

    It is important to bathe before any rituals you perform, this is done out of respect. When you are ready, you can light the candle. Take the needle, prick the index finger of your left hand, squeeze some blood out.

    Sign your name in blood.

    Recite the prayer either aloud or in your head

    Fold the paper and let it burn in the fire of the candle. Many of us have stayed and meditated until the candle had burned itself out.

    At the end of the ritual, close with the words "So mote it be." And a Big "HAIL SATAN!!"
     
  2. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

    Reputations:
    69,323
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    8,061
    Likes Received:
    13,635
  3. DiamondGoddess

    DiamondGoddess Born Ready for My Close-Up! Gold

    Reputations:
    303,729
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2013
    Messages:
    23,633
    Likes Received:
    41,233
    Ask Howard Stern.
     
    Wiggy, Dlist, Rabid Dogman and 5 others like this.
  4. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

    Reputations:
    116,015
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,086
    Likes Received:
    22,485
  5. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    135,018
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    57,605
    Likes Received:
    16,906
    i thought one commits to Satan by entering politics.
     
    Dlist, isabella, Zach and 8 others like this.
  6. Abner Devereaux

    Abner Devereaux Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    26,356
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2015
    Messages:
    2,302
    Likes Received:
    5,772
    can you claim tax exemption if you become a priest?

    why no hot chicks and orgy?
     
    Dlist and MilkyDischarge like this.
  7. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

    Reputations:
    69,323
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    8,061
    Likes Received:
    13,635
    image.jpg
    What's for supper?
     
  8. Beths Arab

    Beths Arab Well-Known Member VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    41,355
    Joined:
    May 16, 2012
    Messages:
    4,421
    Likes Received:
    5,218
    I never have supported Obama and i'm not going to start now!:no:
     
  9. idiotbox

    idiotbox Looking for a dime and found a quarter. VIP

    Reputations:
    71,228
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    16,598
    Likes Received:
    12,373
    Satan requires more commitment than Jesus.
     
  10. Rhiannon

    Rhiannon Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    18,761
    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,324
    Likes Received:
    3,594
    Ok, I'll bite, why is this better than any other "religion"?
     
  11. Mike Huntslooce

    Mike Huntslooce Maker of Champions Gold

    Reputations:
    64,562
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2014
    Messages:
    4,623
    Likes Received:
    12,561
    Bonus is he lets you have much more fun.
     
  12. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    124,146
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2012
    Messages:
    17,469
    Likes Received:
    18,504
  13. cg256

    cg256 Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    69,268
    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2013
    Messages:
    4,593
    Likes Received:
    8,844
    I don't know what the OP is on about, but modern Satanism is merely a rebrand of Secular Humanism. They don't worship the devil and sacrifice animals, it's more about eschewing traditional religious dogmas in favor of the idea that people can be ethical and moral without the fear of a God judging them for their actions.
     
  14. loogaroo

    loogaroo Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    5,962
    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,357
    Likes Received:
    1,589
     
    DBGBH likes this.
  15. Rhiannon

    Rhiannon Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    18,761
    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,324
    Likes Received:
    3,594
    I kind of knew that, but I too was wondering what the OP was on about.
     
    cg256 likes this.
  16. DBGBH

    DBGBH Active Member

    Reputations:
    1,927
    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2015
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    210
    [​IMG]
     
    Dorb likes this.
  17. suckemnuckledus

    suckemnuckledus Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    20,048
    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2012
    Messages:
    3,190
    Likes Received:
    4,701
  18. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

    Reputations:
    69,323
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    8,061
    Likes Received:
    13,635
    image.jpg
     
    DBGBH likes this.
  19. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Se suelto el diablo Gold

    Reputations:
    69,323
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    8,061
    Likes Received:
    13,635
    [​IMG]
    The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth
    by Anton Szandor LaVey
    © 1967

    1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
    2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
    3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
    4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
    5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
    6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
    7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
    8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
    9. Do not harm little children.
    10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
    11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
     
    Beths Arab and DBGBH like this.
  20. suckemnuckledus

    suckemnuckledus Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    20,048
    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2012
    Messages:
    3,190
    Likes Received:
    4,701
    Nothing about Georgia? Damn Lying Charlie Daniels!
     
    SalsMasterShake and DBGBH like this.