How to make proper thanksgiving food

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Beth143nacho, Nov 24, 2015.

  1. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    proper gravy:

    Prepare your mizenplace:

    1. Cook the turkey. Suck all the juices out and put into a clear glass. Let the juices separate then suck off the top layer (fat) and reserve in a separate glass.

    2. Chop up some fresh mushrooms. Set aside

    3. Finely dice an onion. Set aside

    4. Chiffonade some fresh sage leaves. Set aside.

    Cook:

    1. Heat up a skillet. Add a couple of badgers full of the turkey fat.

    2. Add mushrooms, stir almost constantly until tender (5 mins). If at any point the pan gets dry, add more fat.

    3. Add onions and sautéed for 5 minutes

    4. Add sage.

    5. Sprinkle 1/4 cup flour evenly over the pan contents and stir.

    6. Remember that bottom layer of juices (not the fat)? Dump that in the pan and mix with a whisk.

    7. When the mix boils, it'll thicken. Add water gradually until you've achieved a mix slightly thinner than you want (it'll thicken when cooled).

    8. Adjust salt and pepper levels gradyally. If you over salt, add water.

    When you think you have it, dip a piece of turkey in for a final test... Done.

    Don't like mushrooms? Don't add them. Don't like gravy? Fuck you.
     
  2. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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  3. DuckDong

    DuckDong VIP Extreme Gold

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    Turkey slow cooked on a Weber... best way ever.
     
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  4. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Cranberry sauce:

    1. Add 1 pkg (about 2 cups) cranberries to a sauce pan that barely contains them.

    2. Slice a naval orange into quarters, squeeze the juice into the cranberry pot, then add the pieces to the pot.

    3. Add 2 cups sugar to the pot

    4. Add 1/2 cup orange juice and 1 cup water to the pot.

    5. Add a cinnamon stick and 1/4tsp ground cloves to the mixture.

    6. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes.

    7. Every 15 minutes, stir and replace cover until all berries have popped.

    8. When it's ready, remove orange pieces and cinnamon sticks.

    9. Transfer to a glass dish, while cooling, stir often to speed things up.

    10. Serve chilled
     
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  5. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
  6. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Cooking a Turkey:

    1. Dry the turkey off with paper towels.

    2. Smear an entire softened stick of butter over the bird.

    3. Sprinkle with your favorite seasonings (just salt & pepper for me)

    4. Insert thermometer into the breast, 1" away from the breastbone.

    5. Cook on any temperature until the thermometer hits 150f, remove. Cover with foil. The temp will go up to 165 or so, then come back down.
     
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  7. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
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  8. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Just throw a turkey into a deep fryer, crack open a beer and watch your house burn down.
     
  9. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Biscuits:

    In a bowl, mix together 2 cups flour, 1 tbsp sugar, 1 tbsp baking powder, 1 tsp salt.

    Add 1/2 cup shortening or lard. Use a fork to press it down into the dry ingredients until a moist powder is formed.

    Add 1 cup milk or buttermilk. Stir only to combine. (Over stirring creates unwanted gluten).

    Dump mixture onto floured cutting board and flatten to 1" thick. Cut with buscuit cutter, recombine remnants, pat down to 1" and repeat until dough is used up.

    Place biscuits onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment so that they're touching.

    Bake at 425 for 12-15 minutes.

    As soon as biscuits come out of the oven, brush with melted butter.

    Makes about 6, so double or triple the recipe for turkey day and the rest of the week
     
  10. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
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  11. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Stuffing (white bread):

    Rough chop (1/4") the following:
    2 onions
    1/2 head celery
    4 large carrots

    Put 2 loaves of stuffing in a bowl and add 1 cup milk, squish with your fingers until combined.

    In a large sautée pan, sautée onions in oil for 5 minutes, add celery and carrot. Cook 5 more minutes, add old bay seasoning, salt and pepper, stir to combine.

    Add bread mixture and stir. Heat through, then transfer to a baking dish.
     
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  12. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
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  13. scoobyla

    scoobyla Well-Known Member

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    1. watch football
    2. come to the table when they say its ready
     
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  14. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    You lost me at mizenplace
     
  15. goldtopper

    goldtopper Well Known Heterosexual Gold

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    Mise en place.
    Just a term for getting everything together prior to cooking.
     
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  16. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Morning after pancakes:

    Mix together 1-1/2 cup flour, 3 tbsp sugar, 1 tbsp baking powder, 1 tsp salt, 3 tbsp melted butter, 1 egg and 1 cup milk.

    That's it.

    For savory pancakes, add in 1 cup corn, bacon, onions, peppers, sausages and hash browns.
     
  17. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    Thanks, Felix. :coffee:
     
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  18. SomerSky

    SomerSky Obsessed with what I hate Banned User

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    Proper way:
    image.png
     
  19. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    I had to book a reservation yesterday and it was hell on earth

    So annoying
     
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  20. SomerSky

    SomerSky Obsessed with what I hate Banned User

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