Instead of doodling through Robin's news like usual, yesterday Howard revealed that he was practicing his handwriting lessons from the new workbook he ordered. He said they never taught him how to hold a pen in school, and even suggested that he should just hire an English teacher to show him how to write. (A month or two ago Gary and Robin had to explain to him what cursive writing is.) He'll certainly send something handwritten to Jennifer Aniston for so graciously sharing her home with him, and insist it's now his turn to host her at his place in the Hamptons. And he'll send something to Justin Theroux for the meaningful massage they shared together, the golf course bonding, and the hilarious practical joke he played on Howard. To Courtney Cox, of course, and to Jimmy -- for not only preparing a beautiful meal, but for making him such a moving party in his honor on Super Bowl weekend. Clooney will get one for the New Year's Eve party at his lovely home (along with another invitation to stay at his place in the Hamptons), then there's Steven Tyler, Louis CK, Perez Hilton, and whoever else shows up at this party to honor him ... 2014 will go down in Howard Stern History as The Year of Handwritten Notes to Celebrities. Expect to hear Howard chastise people even more for not sending personal notes, and for not caring enough to have beautiful penmanship.
Sal, get in here, look at this note I just got of yours. It's fucking disgraceful, what is your problem dude.
Howard also said yesterday that he bought light-up pens online, so now he can write [his celebrity notes and doodle his mind maps] in the middle of the night without disturbing Beth, who sleeps next to him.
