Howard Stern 2.0: The Big Suck

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by eliasbboy, Jul 29, 2012.

  1. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    I recently tried to explain to a non-Howard fan what has happened to the show. I thought I'd share.

    Picture tuning in to Seinfeld while it was still in its heyday. You're all comfy on the couch, the familiar theme song starts, and you are all ready for 22.5 minutes if laughs plus commercials.

    Except not tonight. Instead of following the exploits of those familiar characters, their selfishness, and the turmoil the cause themselves in life, Jerry is simply sitting on his couch interviewing his REAL life wife about her cooking book and charity work. Elaine just sits there listening intently adding every few minutes "I was just about to say that!"

    More disturbing is that Kramer is no longer living across the hall. Even MORE disturbing is that nobody mentions it.

    There is no story, not plot, no jokes. In fact the only attempt at humor is from George. After every commercial he calls a different grocery store to ask if they have Prince Albert in a can.

    To make matters worse instead of a half hour show it ends after fifteen minutes. You are confused. Perhaps it was a joke. You wait a week until Thursday again. You need to see if the show is back to normal. Your anticipation builds. The show starts, the credits play along with that familiar theme song. A message pops up on the screen:

    "Tonight's Broadcast is an encore presentation"
     
  2. Lou Skunt

    Lou Skunt ____________________ Banned User

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    "Tonight's broadcast has been interrupted for a special news bulletin about Golden Showers..."
     
  3. Anyonenow

    Anyonenow Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]

    I would add that the "conversation" includes My new Right Guard Deodorant which I apply after showering with my Moen Showerhead.
    I needed to take a shower after I Pooped in my Toto Toilet because I had some bad Sushi at Nobu
     
  4. Tinman

    Tinman Well-Known Member

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    Hello...Newman!

    [​IMG]
     
  5. ZeroZed

    ZeroZed New Member

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    Pretty good analogy. The only thing I'd add is placing the scenario immediately after Larry David left in order to illustrate how, after Jackie/Artie left the show, Howard can't carry the show on his own.
     
  6. Murcielago

    Murcielago Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

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    And Jerry spends most of the show talking about his other gigs rather than providing entertainment.
     
  7. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Instead of mocking Jewish paranoia over antisemitism via Uncle Leo, Jerry uses the show to lecture us on how antisemitic most people are, and that Newman hates him only because he's Jewish.

    All Jerry's attitudes that make up the character are suddenly changed w/o explanation other than "he's evolved".

    Jerry is now sloppy rather than neat, he cares passionately about every cause rather than remaining aloof and commenting on them.

    He once mocked political correctness but now revels in it.

    He was something of a ladies' man but now has a wife with whom he sits around watching reality TV instead of hanging out with friends at the coffee shop and commenting on stuff.

    And of course, he now has a wig. : )
     
  8. harlock

    harlock ancora imparo Gold

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    don't forget pissing on the studio audience...:c
     
  9. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    And the time Mr. Peterman shit on the bathroom walls.
     
  10. Pigsaw

    Pigsaw Well-Known Member

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    I would just add if Jerry would play clips of "other" shows.
     
  11. gilaet

    gilaet Zen As Fuck Gold

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    These cupcakes are making me thirsty!
     
  12. KINGjoe

    KINGjoe New Member

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    elias that is a perfect analogy....fuck I am sad.....howard is a dick......
     
  13. mattyfishrip197

    mattyfishrip197 Well-Known Member

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    :winner::winner::winner::winner:
     
  14. Isobel

    Isobel New Member

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    Great analogy.
     
  15. mattyfishrip197

    mattyfishrip197 Well-Known Member

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    this
     
  16. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

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  17. harlock

    harlock ancora imparo Gold

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    it really is :up:
     
  18. Douchebag 007

    Douchebag 007 New Member

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    ill use personal experience to help improve the analogy

    -

    i remember going to studio city once when i was in LA and i tried to get into a taping of Seinfeld

    the show now is like being in line for a taping for the Seinfeld show and some show person walks out to tell everyone that there's no more tickets and Seinfeld is actually full.

    However we were 'lucky' because the Jeff Foxworthy show was being taped at the same time and we could catch an episode of that being made.

    Howards show is alot like being in line for Seinfeld and then getting the Jeff Foxworthy show instead. Plus they DO NOT allow you to leave until the taping is over with.

    Just imagine that nightmare
     
  19. Scarfo

    Scarfo New Member Banned User

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    [Deleted]
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2012
  20. BooeyBanana

    BooeyBanana Well-Known Member

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    Really good anaolgy, Eliasbboy. You obviously gave it a lot more thought than Howard's given the show, in awhile!

    And to Douchebag 007....I remember that crappy "Jeff Foxworthy Show." My condolences to you for having to sit through that POS!