Howard Stern Signs Agreement with iTunes Store

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Benjamen, Sep 10, 2013.

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  1. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    NEW YORK – September, 2013 – "King of All Media" Howard Stern announced this month an exciting new agreement with iTunes, the biggest music vendor in the United States for the last three years.

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    Stern reportedly came to an agreement with the 10-year-old retailer that will allow him to preview and ultimately purchase any of his favorite songs from the iTunes Store. These songs can then be played an unlimited amount of times on up to five different devices.

    "Signing Howard Stern is, without a doubt, the most exciting and transformational event in the history of digital media," said Don Buchwald, Stern's longtime agent. "An important new industry is being developed, and Howard wants to be its leader."

    Before Stern activated his new user account earlier this month, iTunes had just over 575 million active user accounts worldwide. Due to Stern's extremely loyal fan base, Buchwald expects that number to hit 600 million within just one year.

    Stern celebrated his new agreement during a rare live broadcast on his Sirius/XM channels by playing clips of some of his inaugural purchases -- songs by some of the biggest acts in the country. Taylor Swift, Rhianna, Bruno Mars, Katy Perry and 2012 YouTube sensation Psy are just a few of the artists whose songs the 59-year-old downloaded and added to his running-themed playlist.

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    "Songs are $1.29 each," Stern informed his listeners. "I might buy the new Nine Inch Nails album next," Stern added, which would push the iTunes Store's sales to well over 25 billion songs worldwide.

    Details of Mr. Stern's agreement with iTunes are now surfacing:

    • Stern agrees that he will pay for all products he purchases through the Services, and that Apple may charge his payment method for any products purchased and for any additional amounts (including any taxes and late fees, as applicable) that may be accrued by or in connection with his Account. HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE TIMELY PAYMENT OF ALL FEES AND FOR PROVIDING APPLE WITH A VALID PAYMENT METHOD FOR PAYMENT OF ALL FEES.
    • All sales and rentals of products are final.

    Stern concluded the celebration of his announcement by asking his staff how to make the music stop playing on his iPhone.
     
  2. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    :rofl::rofl:
     
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  3. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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  4. queerface

    queerface Un-engaged Dyke Gold

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    Lol! I jumped in this thread ready to rage.

    Dat was a good vone
     
  5. ElRexican

    ElRexican Well-Known Member VIP

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    damn! lolz

    publish that in The Onion!!!


    :mexican:
     
  6. Mike

    Mike 'Merica Gold

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    This was great. How do I pause this robin
     
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  7. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    me too!

    did you write that yourself, Benjamen? you are brilliant! :beer:
     
    Dirty South and JameGumb like this.
  8. markluke

    markluke Well-Known Member

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    "iTunes had just over 575 million active user accounts worldwide. Due to Stern's extremely loyal fan base, Buchwald expects that number to hit 600 million within just one year."

    I see Buchwald is doing the Jew Math thing again.
     
  9. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    Thanks! I mainly just cherry-picked lines from the initial Sirius press release and the Wikipedia entry for iTunes.
     
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  10. Lou Cypher

    Lou Cypher New Member VIP

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    Very nicely done! :D
     
  11. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    it's fantastic!
     
  12. ilovebacon

    ilovebacon Well-Known Member VIP

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  13. Dump Button

    Dump Button Former Mall Security Guard

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    :jj:
     
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  14. Goods

    Goods Well-Known Member

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    dat vus a gud vun :jj:
     
  15. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    Very Nice. :clap:
     
  16. David999

    David999 Well-Known Member

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  17. Bentknee

    Bentknee Well-Known Member

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    Great job. And in related news, I can't believe that cheap fuck is having somebody rip his CD collection to put on his iPad. He can certainly afford to buy downloads, especially since he probably got the cd's for free in the first place.
     
  18. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

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    Nice work.:c
     
  19. Ashbeard

    Ashbeard Well-Known Member

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    "During a rare live broadcast" :hilarious:
     
  20. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

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    Howard is a partner!
    :jj:


    Howard & Ralphiecakes have a friend at the Apple Store.
    Stern needs a deal on Apple products to give to the elite team of evil western medicine practitioners that prolonged Robins life.
     
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