The king of shallow speaks out on marriage, his biggest issue - taking a dump. Most of us don't have shitting wings and presidential suites to shit separately so we have to face the the reality that everyone has to go. Keep on living the delusion you closet case, your whore wife takes massive coke laced dumps that Consuela spends hours cleaning up....allegedly. Marksfriggin: Howard took a call from Marianne Garvey who said she's getting married on Saturday. She asked Howard for his advice. Howard said he is happily married because he's super attracted to her and she's super sweet and nice. Howard said she makes it easy to love her. Howard said she doesn't bust his balls. Howard said his advice is to marry Beth. George said every marriage is different. He said you make with it what you will. Howard said his advice is to not shit in front of each other. Howard said that's what Beth does. He said she'll go to a public bathroom to shit instead of the hotel room when they go on vacation. Marianne said that she does that. Howard said Beth thinks that's what most women do. George said that they have a special toilet that has a panel next to it to suck the smells out and to wash their rear ends. Gary said they went to Montreal not too long ago and they had a bathroom on the same floor of the hotel that they could use for that. Howard said he gets two rooms at the hotels they go to. He said that's just for shitting. Gary said that it's a better vacation when you don't have to worry about that. Howard said he knows women and men who think it's cute that they shit in front of each other. He said that it takes the life out of the whole thing. Robin said she knows couples who have tons of sex and have that going on. Howard said he doesn't believe it. Howard said when he was a kid his dad would come home from work and go to the bathroom. He said he'd charge upstairs after eating. He said they had one bathroom in the house. Howard said his dad had a catch word like ''Oy yay, oy yay'' and that meant he was going to take a dump. Howard said he has no idea what that means but that's what he did. Howard said he never flushed with a courtesy flush. Howard said he wondered how his mother was fucking the guy. He said the whole place smelled bad. Marianne asked if George and Brad do it in the same bathroom. George said they have two bathrooms. He said that they also have that special toilet. Marianne said she has a whole stand up routine about shitting and it's like she makes a whole mission out of it like Seal Team Six. Howard said if she's doing that then she may have a long marriage.